A Bed Full of Memories
by Dark-Angel-XX
Summary: Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever. Nothing is Forever sequel . Taito/Yamachi. Taisuke.
1. Chapter 1

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary_: Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Hi again. I'm back with the sequel to Nothing is Forever (I recommend you read it before reading this, else you may get a bit confused!). I know I said I wanted to focus on other stories first, but for some reason all I kept getting was ideas for this one, so in the end I decided to finish the first chapter and post it out on here, just as a sort of teaser ;P So anyways, this will take a slightly different turn than NiF did… I am planning to have a couple of time lapses throughout this story (unlike NiF which was only set over roughly half a year). It will be necessary for things to work though!

First chapter is quite fluffy, and maybe a little naughty, but expect the angst to appear in a few chapters time ;) Heh.

Ohh, I have a message for **Takato**** the Dreamer**; I hopes you enjoy this story after you get round to finishing Nothing is Forever! :)

And to the rest of all you sexy/wonderful lot; read on and enjoy!

Rating: **M**- Just to play it safe!

Warnings: Sexual language, 'Implied' sex between two guys _–purrs-_

* * *

-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 1

-o-o-o-o-

I sprawled myself out across the freshly cut grass and closed my eyes while I bathed in warm rays of sunlight. Summer had truly arrived and I was eager to make the most out of it. I was twenty and a term through my third and final year at Chiba University studying Law, much to everyone's surprise. I had proved that I could do well for myself in life if given the right motivation (mixed with a bit of determination of course).

I wanted this summer to be special somehow because after graduation- assuming all went well- I would be going overseas to England for two years to do a Masters in Law and Criminology.

"Taichi-senpai!"

My eyes flickered open just as Daisuke leapt onto me, placing his legs either side of my body in an attempt to pin and straddle me. I laughed as I sat up effortlessly and tapped him on the tip of his nose.

"You're early," I said while Daisuke leant forwards and brushed his lips against mine. We kissed for a few seconds before he pulled away with a small smile on his maturing face.

"I ran all the way here," Daisuke explained as he climbed off me and sat down by my side. I placed an arm around him while he whipped off his silk blue tie and slung it into his school bag. He then tugged out a packet of Salem cigarettes (Dai's favourite brand) and a blue lighter from the front compartment of his bag.

"Thanks," I said as I ruffled my hand through Daisuke's soft mahogany hair after he handed me a cigarette. I still smoked, even after numerous attempts to quit. I felt guiltier for passing the habit onto Daisuke though. The school football club was not best pleased when they discovered their star player was a nicotine addict.

"So, what's the plan?" Daisuke asked as he leant against me while he puffed away on his cigarette.

"I figured we could take a stroll across the beach," I responded after planting a kiss on Daisuke's forehead.

"And then back to yours?" Daisuke said while he ran his fingers up and down my arm. I could not help but feel a little aroused. The young teenager was often responsible for my constant horniness. I was guilty of pouncing on him a majority of the time, but I knew he loved my assertiveness. _Le God of sex _is what he often called me. I enjoyed the way he gasped 'ahh senpai' in bed, but there was something about our sex life that was unfulfilling and made me feel like a pervert.

"He's practically a child compared to you," Mimi had lectured upon finding out Daisuke and I were a couple.

"Mimi, Daisuke's past the age of consent," I argued back with a hand fixed firmly on my hip.

"Barely…"

The rest of the gang seemed funny about our relationship too. Particularly Ken and Miyako, but they both knew all too well why and how I had got with Daisuke.

Daisuke had declared his feelings for Ken on his thirteenth birthday, and after having a few days to 'think things over', Ken revealed he felt the same way. Miyako refused to talk to both of them when she found out they were going out. Daisuke was disappointed to lose her as a friend, but he never regretted confessing how he felt. I have never seen him as happy as the times he strolled around the streets hand in hand with Ken.

They remained together for almost two years. Miyako soon overcame her jealously and started talking to them again. But then Ken and Miyako started to get a little too close for comfort. Everyone could see what was going to happen, but no one, not even me, had the heart to tell Daisuke. I felt somewhat responsible though since I had originally told Daisuke he should follow his heart.

Daisuke saw them kissing at the train station a week before his fifteenth birthday. After that the poor kid realized that he hadn't stood a chance in the first place. He still tried to talk Ken round, and even admitted that he could never love anyone else apart from him. Ken had already made up his mind though. His engagement with Miyako sealed the deal. Daisuke was devastated. He came crying to me, and, well, I'm not sure how it happened, but we ended up in my bed.

A year later I was still dating him and we were going strong.

Things just, worked. I didn't care what people said about us.

"Come on lazy," Daisuke nagged as he threw his cigarette to the ground. He was now stood up and looming over me as he waited for me to get off my backside, "I'll race ya to the beach."

I tossed my own cigarette butt to the side then rose to my feet.

"Lets go!"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_Ring ring._

I moaned sleepily and nudged my foot against Daisuke's leg.

"Can you get that?"

He sighed and tried to pull the covers over his head until the phone in the living room had stopped ringing. We both groaned in unison as my mobile phone started to vibrate harshly against the wooden surface of my bedside cabinet. I kicked Daisuke a little harder than before.

"Answer it, pleeease!" I whined. Daisuke sighed as he unsteadily sat up and grabbed my phone.

"Hello?" Daisuke said drowsily as he rubbed a hand against his eyes. He smiled suddenly then poked me in the cheek with his index finger. "Hi Yagami-chan. Yes Tai is awake, I'll pass you onto him."

I sat up as Daisuke handed me the phone.

"Hi…" I began as I placed the receiver against my ear.

"It's your mum," Daisuke mouthed.

"… Mum. How are things?"

"I'm fine, I just phoned to let you know I'm staying at Hiroshi-kun's place tonight…"

"Again?" I said while raising an eyebrow. Hiroshi Takahashi was my mum's latest flame. She had been with him for almost a year and he seemed like a nice enough guy.

"Well it's better than me inviting him over here for the night…"

"Eugh, spare me the thought!" I grimaced while I scrunched my nose up. My mum laughed. Daisuke tugged my t-shirt over his head and glided out the room.

"Well, there's rice in the cupboards and possibly some fish in the fridge if you and Dai get hungry." I smiled. My mum was awesome, she usually stocked up on food for Dai and I knowing that we both loved to eat.

"Ok, awesome, thanks a lot."

"No problem. Alright then, speak to you soon Taichi, lots of love."

"Bye, love you too!" I ended the call then placed my phone back down on my bedside table. I grabbed my underwear from the floor then quickly snatched a blue t-shirt from my chest of drawers, opposite my bed, before I dressed myself while hobbling awkwardly out the room.

To my delight Daisuke was in the kitchen, bending over provocatively as he rifled through the contents of my fridge. I stood directly behind him and cupped his bare buttocks with my hands and started to nibble on the back of his neck.

"Mmm, senpai," Daisuke panted as one of my hands slid round to his erection. He stood up fully, placing a packet of fish on the kitchen counter before he parted his legs a little and pushed his bum against my cloth-covered hard-on. I couldn't hold back. I slipped off my underwear and took him up against the kitchen counter.

Once we were finished (it didn't take too long), Daisuke spun around and stood up on tip toes just so he could kiss my sweaty brow. Being almost six foot I enjoyed being taller than Daisuke, even though he had shot up about four inches to an impressive five foot ten over the past year.

"Lets clean up," I suggested as I scooped the teenage boy up into my arms, "then we can grab some munch."

"Sex in the shower it is!" Daisuke laughed as we headed towards the bathroom. I chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

He was right though.

We eventually got round to eating at around seven. Rice and cooked fish with peas and sweet corn; it wasn't too bad. After washing up, Daisuke and I snuggled up on the sofa and watched my favourite James Bond film, GoldenEye. Just as Alec Trevelyan was about to betray Mr. Bond, the phone on the coffee table besides Daisuke started to ring.

"Gee you're popular," Daisuke sighed as he picked up the phone and handed it over to me. I groaned and paused the film.

"Hello? Yagami residence, Taichi Yagami speaking."

"Hi Tai, it's mum again. I forgot to tell you earlier that there's ice cream in the fridge, vanilla and toffee flavoured."

"Ah, awesome! Thanks, love you, bye."

I hung up and dropped the phone onto Daisuke's lap before I leapt off the sofa and ran into the kitchen, before calling to Daisuke that I was going to get us some ice cream. Daisuke cheered in excitement, but grunted shortly afterwards when the phone started ringing again.

"Hello?" Daisuke spoke, while I pulled the tub ice cream out from the freezer. "Oh, yeah this is the Yagami residence… yeah it's Daisuke speaking. Ha, no problem... Yeah Tai is here. May I ask who this is?"

I hurried back into the living room with the ice cream and two table spoons cradled in my arms. I soon realized that I was smiling, but Daisuke wasn't. In fact he was looking over at me with a serious expression on his face, while the phone was still pressed up against his ear. I was about to ask Daisuke who he was talking to, but he raised his index finger up at me the moment he saw my lips move, signalling me to stay quiet.

"I don't think he'll mind. Ok."

Daisuke handed me the phone as I slipped down besides him, balancing the ice cream on my legs.

"Tai speaking," I said while I flipped open the ice cream lid and placed one of the spoons onto Daisuke's lap. There was silence at the other end of the phone for a couple of seconds. I frowned and readied myself to moan at whoever it was for being so damn rude.

"Hey, Chi. It's Yamato."

The ice cream fell from my lap.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

* * *

D-Angel: Ahh, cliff-hanger. I'm evuuuls! But, yeah, anyways, what did you guys think? A lot has changed in four years it seems, ne? And yes, I deliberately decided not to mention Yamato until the very end of the chapter. No doubt Chapter 2 will fill you guys in about what has happened with Yamato/Taichi during that time (I'm currently writing it atm, eeep), and the story will start to take a shocking turn! Oooohh! Exciting!  
Thanks for reading anyways, reviews are welcome :)

See ya next chapter! _-loves and hugs-_

* * *

D-Angel-

26/08/08


	2. Chapter 2

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary_: Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Well, I tried not to leave it too long although I'm aware five months is quite a wait. You should know what I'm like with updates now, lol. Truth be told, this has been my hardest year at uni, but I only have a semester left before I'm finally finished! Scary.

Anyways... this chapter was difficult to write for some reason... took an age, but it's finally done.

Thanks for all your reviews so far by the way! You guys rock (really, you keep me motivated).

Read on and enjoy :)

Rating: **M**

Warnings: The usual.

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 2

~*~*~*~*~*

I hadn't seen Yamato for almost four years and now he had phoned me out of the blue. It was very peculiar. It wasn't as if we had completely lost contact after he moved away to Osaka. We had exchanged the occasional letter and e-mail over the past few years, just simple ones that had kept us briefly updated about one another's lives. However, not once had we phoned each other. It was why I sat there, literally trembling after hearing his voice for the first time in ages.

"Oh, hi," I replied into the phone as Daisuke dived onto the floor to recover the ice cream.

"I'm sorry, I know it's been a while," Yamato sighed. I could imagine him fiddling with strands of his blond hair while chewing anxiously on his lower lip. I laughed, although it sounded quite forced and uneasy so I probably sounded like a complete twat. I was known for making an idiot of myself though, especially in front of Yamato.

"How are things…," I paused for a moment, "with your life?"

Yamato chuckled this time, although his laugh sounded genuine and quite warming.

"Rather good. I got into Kyoto University, as you know…"

Yeah, lucky bastard, I thought. Yamato had always been smart though, it was no surprise he had gained high enough grades to attend one of the top Universities in Japan. Ok, so Chiba University was also a great University, but I had slaved my ass away studying to just about scrape the grades together to get into there.

"Yeah, 'grats on that. Having fun there?" I asked before I dug my spoon into the tub of ice cream which was now sitting on Daisuke's lap.

"It's ok, although I commute _every_ day," Yamato explained in a dreary tone. I rolled my eyes but still emphasised with him. I was fortunate to have lived in student accommodation for my first year, before finding a house with a couple of friends for my final two years. It was probably a bit more expensive than commuting, but I was relishing the experience of living with like-minded people.

"That's a shame. Made any friends?"

"A few, although I really miss everyone in Odaiba."

I smiled, we all missed him too. Out of everyone only Koushiro and Mimi had visited him ever since he moved away. They met up with him shortly after his eighteenth birthday. Yamato looked a lot healthier in the photos they took, a happy glow shone from his fuller cheeks as Izz and Meems had stood besides him, posing. Apparently he had been clean for almost eighteen months. Rehab had been hard on him, especially with his mum and dad breathing down his neck.

"Tai?" The apprehensive edge to his voice broke my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

He was tapping his fingernails against something; the sound was rhythmic, much like when he used to tap his fingers against the frets of his guitar.

"This may be a bit forward, but, do you fancy spending a few weeks with me?"

I almost dropped my spoon onto the floor, unsure if I had just heard him right. Travel all the way to Osaka just to see him, surely I couldn't? It felt too soon.

"Matt, I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Why not?"

I placed a hand on my forehead. He was not exactly making this any easier for me. The last time I had seen him we had said our goodbyes, and it had quite honestly been one of hardest days of my life. I knew I would become an emotional wreck if I saw him again.

"Well…"

Yamato sighed.

"Listen, I'll give you some time to think about it, I guess this is all a little out of the blue."

Damn right. But still, it was kind of him to ask. I had never been to Osaka in my life, and Yamato had always known that I had wanted to go there when we were younger. There were a few reasons that screamed why I shouldn't go though, and of course Daisuke was one of those.

"Ok then." I looked at Daisuke who had stopped eating the ice cream and was staring at me curiously. I knew he would ask questions the moment I finished talking to Matt. To be honest, I would have done the same thing if he had been on the phone for Ken for more than ten minutes (and I must have spoken to Matt for almost twenty minutes).

"I've got to go, but call me later and I'll give you a definite answer."

"Ok, I'll phone you in a couple of days."

"That's cool. Bye for now."

"Alright, take care."

He hung up. I slowly moved the phone away from my ear then placed it onto the floor.

"What did Yamato-san want?" Daisuke badgered as he hooked his arm around mine and leant towards me. I winced a little before I allowed Daisuke to snuggle into my chest.

"He wants me to go visit him."

"You should do it," Daisuke said at the drop of a hat.

"What?" I gawped. Of all people, I thought Daisuke would be the first person to disapprove, especially after what Ken and Miyako did to him. I guess I never really expected Daisuke to trust me that much.

"He's your best friend, and it's been ages since you last saw him," Daisuke reasoned while he stared me directly in the eyes, "and who knows when you'll get an opportunity like this again?"

Daisuke was right. I would be off to England next year, and Yamato and I would be busy with University once the summer was over. I really had no idea when I would get to see Yamato again; apart from this one little opportunity that had arose almost randomly.

"Aren't you, you know, worried?" I curiously questioned while Daisuke reached for the ice cream, which had already started to melt into a creamy goo. It took him a few seconds to twig at what I was getting at. He shrugged his shoulders once he had eaten some more ice cream.

"Of course I'm not," Daisuke confidently scoffed, "you and Yamato are a thing of a past… Well your relationship is anyways."

"I suppose," I leant back on the sofa. "But, I think I'll have to talk to Sora about it."

~*~*~*~*~*

"What an idiot," Sora groaned while shaking her head as she propped her elbow up on the table we were sat at, "he knows you're with Daisuke, so what is he playing at?"

I arched an eyebrow.

"It's not like he's after anything…"  
"Of course he's hoping for something Tai. You know Yamato better than I do…"

She was right. I lowered my eyes. There was a picture of a child on the table, no older than the age of four, with cinnamon coloured eyes and well kept black hair, dressed in a navy-blue dress as she gazed up with a toothy grin at whoever had taken the picture. Sora pushed it underneath a gossip magazine when she realized I was looking. She never liked to talk about her pregnancy or the baby she ended up given up for adoption. It was as clear as day how she felt, especially whenever a baby advert came on television, or when she walked past a baby in a pushchair.

I think she had wanted to keep it by the end of her pregnancy, but what else could a sixteen year old girl do; especially when she's still at school, and her family lacks the funds to raise a baby? Sora just believed her daughter could live a better life without her. The only small thing Sora requested was that she was sent a picture of her daughter every year, and so far she hadn't been disappointed.

"You can't hurt Dai," Sora said as she stood up from the table and walked over to a framed picture of her and her mum by the television, "he loves you more than you realize."

I swallowed hard, which was difficult when my throat was starting to tighten as if guilt had wrapped its hand around my neck. I loved Daisuke too, but for some reason, it wasn't enough to convince me not to go visit Yamato.

~*~*~*~*~*

I returned back to my apartment near to dinner time, after a brief trip into town with Sora. I was not surprised to see Daisuke sitting on the sofa, although I was concerned as to why he had muted the volume on the television the moment I entered the room. He hopped onto his feet and approached the doorway where I was stood.

"Your sister phoned a few minutes ago, said she wants to arrange a meeting."  
My eyes widened. I felt giddy as my heart jumped around my ribcage in excitement. I had waited so long for my sister to get in contact with me; I had asked my dad to inform her that I wanted to meet her when she was prepared.  
"Did she leave a number?"  
"Yeah, she left her mobile number," Daisuke informed as he turned back around and darted over to the coffee table. He grabbed a piece of toilet paper and handed it to me as I joined his side.

"Thanks." I added the number scribbled on the piece of paper into my mobile while Daisuke watched me. I looked up once I was done and saw that he was still staring at me, only now his eyes drowning in a clear state of confusion. He looked like someone had just snapped him out of a hypnotist's trance

"I didn't know you had a sister, Tai."

He sounded hurt, and with all good reason to be. I bit my lip, hesitant whether to tell him the reason why I had never told him.

"Mmm, I know…" I rested my hand against my forehead, "sorry Dai, it isn't something I want to talk about right now."

I never found it easy to open up to Daisuke, in the same way he did with me. It was a miracle as to why he could always confide in and trust me. I knew he would have found out about my sister one day, but I always assumed it would be through our circle of friends or from my Mum.

Daisuke sighed, but took a step towards me.

"Will you tell me, eventually?"

"Of course," I promised.

"She sounded really sweet on the phone," Daisuke pulled me into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder; "I'm looking forward to meeting her."

I shut my eyes and tried to forget about the past for the time being. Daisuke's hand started fiddling with the buttons on my jeans, before he yanked down the zipper. I wanted to kill him when as all he did afterwards was take a step back and look up with me with wide sex eyes. He knew I couldn't resist. I firmly grabbed his wrist and dragged him into my bedroom.

"I'm gonna miss this," Daisuke sighed as I nibbled on the side of neck. I laughed, although my voice wavered. He continued to whimper and moan while I pinned his wrists down against the mattress and swung my hips to and forth in my usual rhythm. I sped up when my climax was approaching, placing one hand on his hip as I grew more aggressive and eager for release.

It was messier than usual. Daisuke was quiet as I slid out from him, but had a giant grin stretched across his face. I cleaned us both up with the baby wipes by my bed before I collapsed back besides Daisuke and kissed him on his nose.

"Two weeks without you is torture," Daisuke admitted as he snuggled against my chest. I placed a hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer. There was just no way I could betray him.

"I don't have to go."

Daisuke muffled something into my chest.

"Eh?"

He moved away from me a little.

"Lets not go into this again," Daisuke groaned as a serious glimmer appeared in his dark brown eyes, "I'm not against you going."

"But…"

"I'm not stopping you," Daisuke stated as he scratched the crown of head, "End of conversation."

I frowned.

If I had been in his position I would have felt peculiar about him going to visit his ex-boyfriend. Daisuke was like that though, too stubborn to even admit his true feelings half the time, especially after what happened with Ken. He was never dishonest however, he just had a tendency to say the things that he thought people wanted to hear, rather than upset them. Well, _unless_ he was feeling angry.

Daisuke caught me off-guard with a passionate kiss, firing me up for another round of sex. I leant back, willing for Daisuke to take control, but he just grabbed my wrist and led it down between his legs.

"Release me, senpai," Daisuke murmured as he encouraged me to slide my hand up and down his shaft. I rolled over and moved my other arm around the back of his neck to support him as my hand furiously pleasured him. I whispered filth into his ear and he came within seconds.

"Mmm, good," he panted while I dived under the covers to clean him up.

I made sure I spent plenty of time with Daisuke- watching films, making love, eating food- before the day of my departure.

~*~*~*~*~*

* * *

D-Angel:  Will end it here for now. Chapter 3 is half-written... In fact, I started writing chapter 3 before chapter 2, which is odd, lol.  
I couldn't resist the Tai/Dai smut at the end, they are such a cute couple, but I think you guys can guess what's going to happen!  
So, anyways, will try my best to update soon, although I have a lot of uni work to do still (even though I have a 3 week break before the next semester .).  
Shall see you guys next chapter! Much love.

* * *

D-Angel

22/01/09

P.S. Thanks for pointing out the missing word Ohtori Choutarou! You know what I'm referring to ;) Lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary_: Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Blah, I was meant to get this finished about a month ago, but I've just been so busy with job hunting... It's consuming my life! Still no luck yet, well, with finding my dream job. Tough times right now... But I'm determined to keep looking ^^  
This chapter is pretty long, just to make up for my lack of updating... I hope you guys enjoy!

Rating: **M**- Just to play it safe!

Warnings: None really, gonna rate this chapter T in fact ^^ (Shocking I know!)

* * *

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 3

~*~*~*~*~*

The plane was slowly descending and I was feeling like I was about to throw up at any second. Whether it was from nerves or travel sickness was a completely different story. I hadn't seen Yamato in what felt like decades, so yes I was anxious. I wondered how much he'd changed. I also couldn't help but wonder if he would still enjoy my company, considering people had told me I had somewhat matured over the years.

I tore off my seatbelt the moment the wheels hit the ground and waited for what seemed like hours before I was allowed to stand up and grab my hand luggage bag from the overhead storage. I switched on my phone immediately after stepping off the plane while I was heading towards the baggage conveyor belt and couldn't help but smile when a message from Daisuke flashed up on the display screen.

_Hey gorgeous, hope everything's ok. Give me a call when you get this message! Love you lots like jelly tots! Love Dai. X X X_

I rolled my eyes before I placed my phone back in my pocket. I would phone him later once I'd settled at Yamato's house I figured. Daisuke _had_ last seen me at the airport to say goodbye, despite I was only going away for two weeks. The way he had clung to me and the way his dark mahogany eyes had trembled were truthfully all the signs I needed to tell me he hadn't really wanted me to go see Yamato in the first place. Of course by that point it had been too late for me to back out, and Daisuke was more than aware of that.

I snatched my suitcase from the conveyor belt as soon as I spotted it then headed towards the arrivals longue where Yamato awaited, hopefully. I peered about once I got there, scanning the busy crowd, my heart skipping a beat every time I spotted someone with blond hair (which was only two or three times, and they all had clearly dyed their hair).  
For a horrifying moment I wondered if Yamato was even going to bother to turn up. Maybe he had freaked out at the last minute and had called the whole arrangement off without me knowing? Thank God I had paid for the airplane ticket with the money from my savings account, rather than from my student loan...

"Hey, stranger."

Shit. He had turned up and he'd managed to catch me off guard. I spun around and smiled as best I could.

"Hey, Yamato."

I almost fainted. Yamato seriously looked like he had just strolled off from a film set, dressed in a light blue shirt (unbuttoned) with a white t-shirt underneath, and a snug fitting pair of jeans. I noticed that he had re-styled his blonde hair, which had naturally darkened with age. His side fringe which drooped over his left eyebrow was shorter, along with the rest of hair which reached just past his ears, as opposed to his chin.

As I stared into his bright blue eyes I realised that he was still taller than me- the asshole- but he was far from skin and bones, like I unfortunately remembered him being. He had bulked out a little, his shoulders were broader and his arms were shapely and toned; I assumed he had done some weight training over the past year or so. He looked healthy and not to mention hot.

Then there was me who was wearing a plain black t-shirt and a scraggy pair of jeans, which in no way, shape or form, complemented my _mildly_ athletic figure. I probably had the 'just got off the plane' hair too which I knew never looked too flattering. Still, I was surprised when he took a step forward and hugged me without hesitation. I tried to hug him back without looking like I was uncomfortable, but with him holding me close and his intoxicating scent of strawberries and aftershave it was difficult for my body not to shiver.

Yamato stepped back and gave me one of his cheeky smiles, like whenever he used to know I was horny. If it wasn't for the crowd around us I'm sure something could have happened between us right then and there. However, we were mature and sensible young adults, or so I liked to believe, so it was only socially correct to behave ourselves in the public eye... _and _when we got back his house.

"Here, I've got it." Yamato reached towards the handle of suitcase. His hand momentarily brushing against my own for a second was enough for me to release my grasp on the handle and allow him to take the suitcase from me.

"Honestly, I can manage," I protested but Yamato was already starting to walk away with my case, calling over his shoulder for me to follow him towards one of Osaka International airport's exit, which led us out to the car park.

"How was the flight?" Yamato asked along the way.

"Boring," I snorted as I readjusted the strap on my shoulder from my onboard luggage bag, "No in-flight entertainment whatsoever, I wasn't impressed."

"Oh come on, it was hardly a long flight," Yamato teased as he sent me a sly wink. I had always disliked it when he countered my complaints like that, but during this particular instance he probably had a point, so I was unable to sulk.

We walked past several rows of cars before Yamato stopped by a well-kept silver something or another (I didn't know too much about cars) and pulled a set of keys out from his pocket.  
"My house is a twenty minute drive away from the airport," Yamato explained as he flipped open the boot and placed my suitcase inside his car before turning to poke his tongue out at me, "I thought I'd bring my car to save you the walk."

"How considerate of you," I said as I watched walk round to the driver's side of the car to unlock his door as well as my own. Yamato rolled his eyes before he climbed into the car and waited for me to get in and settle myself. On the inside the car was somewhat spacious with adequate legroom and spelt of fresh pinewood. I wondered if Yamato had bought the car himself, or whether he had been given it as a gift.

I took a subtle breath in as Yamato leant over in my direction and flicked open the glove compartment while strands of his soft hair tickled my nose. He grabbed a small hard coated case out from the compartment and opened it, pulling out a pair of rectangular thick rimmed glasses which he slipped onto his nose before he slammed his key into the ignition.  
"Since when did you start wearing glasses?" I questioned after I fastened my seatbelt unable to stop staring at how attractive his glasses made him look. I had never really had a thing for glasses, but Yamato had always had a knack with making anything he was wearing look sexy.

"I only use them for driving," Yamato responded in a shy voice as he tried not to break his concentration on the road as he reversed out from his parking spot.

"They make you look..." I _almost_ said cute, "studious."

Smooth recovery, I thought. Judging by the devious smirk on Yamato's face he was aware that I had almost made a slip up. I tried by best to hide my blush as we drove out onto the main road only to realise after a few minutes that an uneasy silence had clouded over us. It felt like we were strangers sitting besides one another on a train, unwilling to engage in conversation. I never imagined it being so hard for us to act like friends again.

To try and ease the atmosphere I slipped my shoes off and placed my feet up against the glove compartment, and then I stretched my arms out and placed them behind my head. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Yamato looking at me for a split second.

"This is cosy," I said as I fought back a sarcastic chuckle. My statement wasn't entirely mocking the current situation; Yamato's car seats were somewhat comfortable.

"You know, I always pictured you posing like that..." Yamato's voice was reflective. I think for that single moment, as strange as this may sound, he forgot I was in the car with him. He blushed after realising what he'd just confessed. My heart started to pound heavily against my chest, secretly thrilled that he still thought about me despite our time apart and the problems we had faced.

The rest of the car journey was calm and relaxing, accompanied with small talk and soft laughter. My whole body was shuddering in excitement just from the things he said and the _way_ he said them (I had almost forgotten how sexy his smoky Japanese-American accent was in real life), even though our conversation was far from erotic or flirty. Yamato's presence had always had that effect over me back in the early days of our relationship. However, this time it only reminded me why I had potentially made a fatal mistake coming to visit him.

~*~*~*~*~*

Yamato's house was beautiful (well, technically _his _house because his Father owned it, but I assumed Yamato had it to himself a majority of the time). It was traditional Japanese style with the sliding doors and spacious rooms, yet the furniture was modern. The outside landscape was just as spectacular, the back garden was decorated with small bonsai trees and various stone statues complete with a small lake filled with lily pads and koi carps. I had always dreamed of living in a similar place when I grew older.

"Anyone in?" I asked, dropping my bag down on the floor so I could slip off my shoes. I could sense a strange aura of emptiness, as if we had just ventured into a musty old library.

"My Dad's away," Yamato admitted.

"Business trip?" I guessed aloud and I was surprised when Yamato shook his head.

"For once no, he's gone for a break away to South Korea with his girlfriend." There was an edge of resentment in Yamato's voice, as if he wished his Father _had_ actually gone on a business trip instead of a luxurious holiday. Before I could act empathetic, Yamato had grabbed my suitcase handle and was halfway down the corridor, standing beside a door. He nudged it open with his foot then looked over at me with his serious narrow eyes. "Come here. I'll show you your room."

The room was a reasonable size, spacious enough to walk from one end to another without walking into or tripping over anything. A neatly made single bed was placed against the right hand wall. Next of that was a bedside cabinet with a framed picture of a Yamato around six or seven years old with his younger brother, Takeru perched on his lap. Beaming innocent smiles were present on their chubby faces. If only they had known what the future was going to bring...

"Hungry?" Yamato asked when he realised I was staring at the picture.

"A little," I confessed, and placed my bag down besides the bed. Yamato then turned and headed towards the doorway. "Let's eat then."

~*~*~*~*~*

Yamato had prepared an epic banquet, enough to feed four or five people, dishes ranging from sushi, domburi, onigiri, nikujaga... I was impressed that he had gone through so much effort just to make me feel welcome. As my eyes darted from dish to dish I could feel the saliva building up in my mouth threatening to secrete down my chin in a less than glamorous way.

"Help yourself," Yamato nudged my bowl closer towards me. He knew that food, his food in particular, was one of my biggest weaknesses and I couldn't stop myself from thinking that he was using it as a ploy to try and seduce me. I cautiously hovered my chopsticks over one of the dishes while I felt Yamato's eyes burn into me; talk about pressure! Oh well I thought, before I picked up the dish I'd be eyeing and scraped almost half of its contents into my empty bowl. A mouthful surely couldn't hurt?

"Mmm," I sighed involuntary at the explosion of flavours consumed the entire palette of my tongue while I gladly chewed on the food in my mouth. I hadn't tasted anything _that_ good before, Yamato's cooking had improved significantly. "You're better than Hiroyuki-san."

Yamato smiled and scooped a few bits of food into his bowl. "Thanks, but Sakai Hiroyuki specialises in French cuisine."

"Yeah, I know." Actually, I didn't. I knew no more than his name and that he was a pretty famous cook in Japan. I cracked open one of the beer cans resting in the centre of the table and tried not to cringe as I swallowed two or so mouthfuls of the bitter liquid. Beer was just one of those drinks which I struggled to stomach during the first few sips, but it didn't make me feel sick unlike vodka or sake.

Yamato had his eyes on me while I continued to eat my food. I pretended not to notice, although after a few minutes of silence my eyes eventually met his once more as I was about to reach across the table to grab another beer.

"How's Daisuke?" Yamato asked while he gnawed slowly on the onigiri trapped between his chopsticks (he never ate it with his hands). At that moment my knee jerked upwards and cracked against the table and I swore loudly under my breath at the painful throbbing sensation that followed. Thankfully the food had been jolted nowhere near the edge of the table. I would have felt so guilty if I'd accidentally ruined Yamato's works of art.

"Ouch," I groaned . Yamato stifled a giggle and almost choked on his onigiri, probably entertained over the fact that I was still as much of a klutz as I was four years ago.

"Daisuke, yeah, we're good- I mean, _he's _good," I replied as I massaged my sore knee. Why did he want to know about Daisuke? They had never really been great friends, in fact Yamato had once told me Daisuke pissed him off at times.

"No offence, but I would had never thought you two would end up together." Yamato's tone was blunt and serious. I had to swallow my pride and restrained myself from reaching across the table to slap him, reminding myself that his words hadn't intended to hurt me.

"I get that a lot. The age gap can be problematic at times, but overall he's a good kid. Mimi is funny about it, and as for Miyako and Ken, well.."

"...Tai, I have nothing against it. I'm happy for you." I knew that he wasn't lying when he abruptly tore his gaze away from me and continued to eat. It was his usual way of ending a discussion that was too awkward for him, or was irritating him. Somehow I even found his negative traits rather alluring, maybe that was the reason why I used to enjoy winding him up at times, and perhaps that was why I felt the need to badger him.

"Can I ask... have you been with anyone since... us?" I regretted asking straight away, I just blurted it out without really thinking. It was such a strange question to ask an ex, and it potentially suggested that you still had romantic feelings for them...

"Yeah, I've had a few flings here and there," Yamato coolly admitted without even hesitating as he set his chopsticks down, "nothing serious though."

After hearing that, my appetite suddenly waned. It was no surprise Yamato had slept with other people. He was an attractive guy and he had a high sex drive (like me), so of course he was going to have fun when it suited him, but I couldn't help but feel a bit envious despite I had been the one to ask such a question.

Yamato seemed bemused when I stated that I was full. He had been used to me asking for seconds and thirds back in Odaiba. I think it was then that we realised it was only a matter of time before the sexual tension between us caved in. As Yamato had placed the leftover food back into the fridge I slid past him carrying the dirty dishes. His eyes burnt directly into mine for a while until I snapped out of the trance and walked towards the sink.

"You don't have to wash up, you know?" Yamato mentioned as he watched me fill the sink up with warm water.

"Well, you cooked so it's only fair," I explained.

Yamato took a few small steps towards me. "But you're the guest, you shouldn't..."

"Don't worry," I interrupted, "I want to."

He didn't agree with what I was doing, it was apparent as he narrowed his eyes and brushed his fringe back across from his face with his slender fingers. I decided not to say anything else as he continued to stand there watching me soak and scrub the dishes in the sink for another minute or two.

"Ok, I'm heading to bed then," he stretched his arms out as a yawn fell from his parted lips, "I'm exhausted. You'll be ok, won't you?"

I placed two bowls onto the drying rack. "Yeah, yeah, I've got everything I need. I'll hit the hay once I'm finished here. Thanks again for dinner."

"It was no problem, you know I like cooking." A shy smile stretched across his humble face.

"I'm glad," I confessed, fiddling with the glass I was holding in my hand before I dipped it into the warm soap suds. It was reassuring to know that Yamato had maintained his interest in cooking. I guessed it had become his main vice while he was overcoming his drug addiction, as well as his music.

"Chi. Thanks for coming to stay," Yamato said in a soft euphoric tone. For several seconds I was frozen, aware that he was standing closely by my side, close enough to do anything he wanted. The frightening thing was I wasn't sure if I would of had the willpower to stop him, and perhaps Yamato realised that too because he suddenly stepped away and headed towards the doorway.

"Goodnight." And he had left the room before I had a chance to say goodnight in return.

By the time I was done with the washing up I had decided to stop by Yamato's room to wish him goodnight, if he happened to still be awake. Walking silently down the corridor I soon noticed that his door was ajar and his room appeared to be faintly lit. As I peeped in I was not surprised to find Yamato crashed out on the top of the covers still in his clothes and his bedside lamp still on with a half-opened book lying next to it. Yama really was knackered. Bless. Before I could even stop myself, I had tip-toed over to the foot of the bed so I could get a better look of the admittedly cute display.

Strands of Yamato's hair had been flattened from where he had obviously shifted about in his sleep. In his current position one of his arms was stretched out over his head while the other was draped across his chest. His lips were slightly parted to accompany his calm breathing pattern; I had forgotten how peaceful he looked when he was sleeping, and seeing him like that, well, I couldn't resist.

Leaning over the bed, I softly planted a kiss on his cheek. He made a small 'mmm' noise and shuffled a little across the mattress and I instantly sprung back towards the door with my heart beating heavily against my ribcage. However, Yamato just pulled the covers towards his body like he was hugging someone and remained peacefully in that position. Damn, I was crazy. No, idiotic. What if he had woken up and had seen me standing over him like that?

I promised myself never to take a risk like that again, no matter how enthralling it had been.

~*~*~*~*~*

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D-Angel: I hopes that was worth the wait. It was difficult to write this chapter without making Tai and Matt just jump on each other and, well, you know ;) Thought it'd be more effective if I worked on building the sexual tension between them, the whole knowing that they want each other but are aware it'll cause a lot of trouble if they do cross the boundary of friendship once again...

I should be able to push the next chapter out a lot quicker considering I've already started on it, and it's a fun one to write ;) Thanks a lot guys for being patient with me, and for your wonderful reviews. **LilPadfootChicky**, your review especially was highly motivating, and it made me laugh. Thank you so much!

That's all for now I suppose, I shall see you all next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel

28/09/09


	4. Chapter 4

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel:  Yeah, I intended to update this about two months ago, but quite clearly I got a bit waylaid.  
It's a long ass chapter so I tried to make it as interesting as possible. The last scene was so much fun to write, mainly because I've had it planned out for about two years now, lol. I'll talk about that a little more at the end of this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: A little bit of nudity, hehe ;)

* * *

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 4

~*~*~*~*~*

I groaned and reached over to the bedside table and pawed around for my ringing phone still half-asleep. Staring blankly at the display screen it took me several seconds to register why my phone was making such a racket. My thumb quickly mashed against the accept call button as I brought the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" My voice was groggy and flat; I made no attempt to hide it. Being interrupted from my sleep was one of my biggest peeves, no matter who did it.

"You didn't call me," Daisuke's voice whined on the other end of the phone. My anger instantly melted away.

"Oh. Sorry, Dai." Shit, I was terrible. I hoped that I hadn't caused him too much worry as I bit down on my bottom lip.

"I _suppose_ I can forgive..." He paused. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," I admitted before a well-timed yawn stirred from the back of my throat. A heart-warming chuckle escaped from his lips.

"It's eleven a.m., lazy."

Suddenly I was wide awake and jumped out of bed as best I could while the duvet was still tangled around my legs. I almost tripped as I scrambled over to the window and tugged open the blinds, squinting as the sunlight shone into my face and dazed me. I let out a feeble groan.

"What's the matter?" Daisuke questioned in a higher tone than usual. As much as I wanted to tell him the reason I knew that he probably wouldn't want to hear it. Basically, my plan had been to wake up early so I could prepare Yamato a surprise breakfast, as a thank you gesture for the awesome dinner he had made for me last night.

Unfortunately, the sweet singing from down the hallway and the delicious aroma of bacon and eggs seeping underneath the door were the key tale-tell sign that Yamato was already up and had beaten me to the punch. I would just have to surprise him with my horrendous cooking another day, I decided.

"Nothing, don't worry. I just didn't realise it was nearly midday..."

I slumped back down onto the bed and swiftly changed the subject by asking him what he had planned for the day. Besides running a few errands for his Mum he joked that his day was going to be as productive as a fly caught in a spider's web. I had often lectured him that he shouldn't rely so heavily on me when it came to socialising. It was important for him to know that I couldn't be there for him every second of the day to keep him happy and entertained, which is why I would nag him to spend time with his friends from school every now and again.  
This time I spared him my lecture and we continued chattering away as carefree as we always did. The minutes seemed to fly by; despite in reality I had only been on the phone with him for less than ten minutes.

"God I miss you, can't you come home early?" Daisuke sighed as our conversation had started to turn a little sexual. He was probably pouting on his end of the phone and was trying to use some form of telepathic persuasion. Still, my hand grasped the bed covers. I had barely been gone a day yet Daisuke was pining over my absence like a child who'd lost their favourite toy.

"Maybe. I'll try and arrange something, I'm sure Yamato will understand."

I hoped it was enough to reassure him and set his mind at ease. Truthfully I knew I didn't have the conscience to rush back home before the end of the first week. I would've felt just as bad for leaving Yamato so soon as I would've for neglecting Dai's request. Catch 22 much.

"I love you," Daisuke took a deep breath in and held it as he waited in silent anticipation for my reply.

"Me too, and I'll be home before you know it."

A sharp knock against the door almost made me drop my phone.

"One moment!" I covered the mouthpiece so Daisuke didn't get deafened by my shouting.

"Sorry Dai, I need to go get my ass out of bed," I explained while placing my free hand on the back of my neck, where an annoying itch was brewing.

"Ok then. I guess I'd better let you go. I'll call you later, senpai."

I said goodbye to Daisuke and placed my phone back down on the bedside table. I quickly rubbed the sleep from my eyes, then ran my fingers through my messy bed hair and prayed that I didn't look like too much of a mess.

"Come in."

Yamato pushed opened the door and greeted me with a courteous 'good morning'. He was dressed in a blue t-shirt with the Abercrombie and Fitch moose logo printed on the front, and a loose fitting pair of jeans. His hair was neatly groomed and had a vibrant glow, suggesting he had only washed it a few hours ago.

"Sleep well?" He asked as he took a step into the room. His eyes darted from the window then back towards me.

"Yes, thanks..." Even though he was several feet away, I could smell his aftershave. It was different from the one he was wearing yesterday; the scent was a lot more peppery and sweet and it made me feel somewhat disorientated. I held my breath for a few seconds, trying my best not to look too strange before I swiftly thought of a sensible thing to ask Yamato.  
"What's the plan for today?" I slapped my hands against my knees and leant forwards a little. Yamato rested his hand on his chin and tapped his index fingers against his pouty lips and made a small 'hmm' noise.

"Well, I was thinking about showing you around Itami considering it's my home town. It's not exactly the most interesting of places, but it has its charms, somewhat like Odaiba really in my opinion."

"Each to their own," I teased, and Yamato rolled his eyes. "I'll go grab a shower then."

I stood up from the edge of the bed, stretched my arms up and yawned loudly. As my arms dropped back down to my sides I noticed that Yamato's was perving at my toned torso. A small blush burnt across his cheeks when he became aware I had caught him looking.

"I'll, err, go prepare your breakfast while you take a shower. There's a spare towel in the bathroom." Yamato started back up towards the door. "Is an English fry-up ok?"

"Yes that's fine. Honestly, you spoil me." I couldn't prevent the smile stretching across my face as Yamato regained his confidence and slyly winked at me before he disappeared from the doorway.

~*~*~*~*~*

Aramaki rose garden was similar to what I hoped Heaven would look like. Or at least close enough. Rows and rows of multicoloured flowers were presented like an artistic gallery of brightly coloured pastel paintings. Landscape gardeners were definitely underrated.

Each type of flower seemed to yield its own sweet yet overwhelming scent which happened to be amplified by the summer sunshine. As Yamato and I strolled along side by side with our arms almost touching, I couldn't help but be reminded of the final time we had walked through Odaiba Park together as teenagers. Back then had been so agonising, my heart shivered just thinking about it. I quickly shook my head as I refused to merge that grey, painful memory with the grace and perfection I was now surrounded by.

"Everything ok? You're unusually quiet." Yamato, concerned as always. Well, when it suited him.

"I'm a little hungry," I replied. It wasn't a lie to some extent. My stomach had growled a few times since we had set foot in the gardens.  
Yamato laughed, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. "You haven't changed one bit."

I felt my cheeks flush before I quickly asked him if there was somewhere we could go eat. Fortunately enough, in the heart of the garden, there was a place that sold food and drinks underneath a glass canopy, which we sat underneath with a small plate of mochi and a pot of jasmine tea to share.

"This place is amazing," I admitted. My eyes were still unable to focus on anything for more than five seconds as I gazed around at our surroundings.

"See, Itami _does_ have its charms. I've grown to love it here. There's even a river named after me," Yamato chuckled as he curled his fingers around his cup of tea, "maybe I'll let you see it."  
I smiled self-consciously, briefly staring at Yamato before I studied the shimmering interior of the glass canopy we were under, mesmerised. The old and kooky tea shop Daisuke and I occasionally went to- where we would pretty much smoke three or four cigarettes between sipping tea or coffee and catching up with each other- was no doubt inferior to this. Even Daisuke would have preferred it here, he would've been mad not to.

Why have a hamburger when you can have steak?

I automatically patted my trouser pocket before my stomach sunk in disappointment. I hadn't had a smoke since I'd arrived in Osaka, but unfortunately I had left my cigarettes in my bag back at Yamato's house. I knew all I could do was continue to distract myself from my nicotine cravings by chatting about absolutely anything. For me, that wasn't too difficult. We spoke for a while about University; drunken nights out and tedious lectures, and I even ended up revealing to Yamato some of the crazy antics I got up to with my University's football society. Yamato sat back while he listened and occasionally laughed; although after a while I was convinced I was boring him (although I couldn't tell for sure because he had always been excellent at concealing his emotions.).

"If I'm talking too much just tell me and I'll shut up."

"Nah, I like hearing you talk." Yamato picked up the teapot and refilled our cups. "Hey, do you still see much of the football team from school when you're in Odaiba?"

I shook my head while I shut my eyes for a second.

"Nah. I haven't really had the time to meet up with hardly _anyone_ from school or college."

It was true, I found it difficult to arrange to see a lot of people I knew whenever I was back home. I either had a ton of coursework to do or was spending time with Daisuke and the gang (Sora, Meems, Izz and so forth).

"What about Haru?"

Haru, oh God, I hadn't seen him since graduating from college. Why did Yamato have to mention _his_ name? As far as I knew, Haru was at Hiroshima City University doing some industrial design course. He had messaged me a couple of times on Msn, but our conversations had only been brief and formal.

"Nope, haven't seen him in a while," I tried not to speak too sharply although I hoped that the bored expression on my face was enough to tell him to steer the conversation away from Haru. However, Yamato decided to play the dumb and innocent card.

"You know," Yamato paused to take a sip of tea. "I always thought Haru would have made his move after I left."

I couldn't lie now.

"You did? Well that's a funny story," I said as I scratched the back of my head. I couldn't conceal my embarrassment and it only took Yamato a few seconds to pick up on it and guess what had happened.

"Oh my God," Yamato stated in English before switching back to Japanese, "you _slept _with him!"

He laughed melodiously while I tried to protest, explaining that it had just been a moment of drunkenness after we had gone out to celebrate winning a football tournament when I was seventeen. The entire occurrence was now just an irritating haze to me, all I remembered was waking up in Haru's arms and feeling embarrassed, horrifically hung-over, and to make matters worse my Mum had decided to burst into my room to see if I had managed to get home ok.

"My Mum wanted the story once Haru left, but my memory was such a mess..." I explained, placing a hand on my forehead as I recalled the horrific headache I had woken with that morning.

"Heh, so, he was _so_ bad that you couldn't remember?" The corners of Yamato's mouth twitched while he clearly fought back a mischievous grin. I was tempted to throw my empty tea cup at him for teasing me (particularly because he had given me no option but to reveal that secret). It wasn't as if I couldn't remember everything about that night, it was simply the case of not _wanting_ to remember.

"Enough about him," I groaned as I placed my cup onto the tray on the table, "that was in the past. Let's talk about... you."

Yamato arched an eyebrow. He hadn't expected to suddenly become centre of the conversation after cleverly evading it for so long.

"Me?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes. He was good at playing the classic Bambi act.

"I doubt you've been celibate all this time," I tried to be tactful with my words knowing I was treading on delicate grounds. Yamato's eyes were full of caution too, or at least I thought.

"Perhaps not, but I'm no Romeo." He chose this particular moment to do his sexy flick of the fringe thing. Thanks to a combination of his words, voice and his action my guard was now melting. Screw being subtle, I decided.

"Oh come on, Yama. You must get a fair share of attention from the boys at Kyoto."

Yama. I hadn't called him that for so long, it sounded so foreign compared to the other words I had just said.

"Mainly girls actually, but..." Yamato became flushed and he quickly turned his head to the side to avoid making eye contact with me. "I shouldn't be saying this..."

"You've been with girls?" There was a strain in my voice, which I knew Yamato had picked up on when his lips partly opened to form an expression of shock.

"What? No, no, nothing like that," his hands shot out in front of him- with his palms facing me- in a defensive gesture. He lowered them before he crossed his arms against his chest. "I just mean, I don't think you'd really like to hear who I've done what with. It's a bit personal and you may find it weird."

"Oh," I said with a hint of bemusement in my voice as I wondered what he meant by 'weird'.

When Yamato swiftly changed the subject and started to ask me questions about my University degree, I had to swallow a huge bitter pill as the realisation sunk in that Yamato wasn't prepared to take the subject about his private life any further than that, for the time being. After having time to reflect, I could understand why. I hadn't planned on telling him the things I got up to with Daisuke, but without a doubt he knew and it probably didn't make him feel too great.

I liked that he still cared so much that he was being so careful not to upset me.

After another pot of tea and a near enough silent stroll around the gardens we journeyed back to Yamato's house, only stopping along the way at a supermarket to pick up some fresh fish and vegetables for dinner. During that time I tried my best to make small talk and act like the Taichi who he thought 'hadn't changed one bit', yet unwillingly, I was plagued by the conversation in the Aramaki rose garden which had made me realise how much our time apart had changed the both of us.

~*~*~*~*~*

By the fifth day since my arrival Yamato had just about given me an extended tour of the entirety of Itami, and part of a town near to it which I couldn't remember the name of. I somewhat was glad; we had yet to explore the more commercial areas of Osaka, not to mention the traditional landmarks I had always had my heart set on seeing.

While I made my bed, I calculated that I hadn't smoked at all since I'd set foot in Osaka and I was about to congratulate myself, before I remembered that I had snuck out the back garden for a cigarette (after I was certain Yamato was fast asleep). That probably explained why the cigarettes were on my bedside table. The taste of stale cigarette smoke lingering in my mouth made me cringe and mocked my lack of willpower. I desperately needed to brush my teeth and have a shower while I was at it.

Dragging my feet across the floorboard in a zombie-like manner as I made my way to the bathroom, I wondered why no matter how much sleep I got I was still always tired in the morning? My Mum had always said it was a teenage phase but now I think even _she_ was starting to worry. Oh well, a trip to the doctor's was never a bad thing.

As I reached for the bathroom handle I almost jumped out of my skin when the door opened from the other side. There stood Yamato still slightly wet from the shower with nothing but a small white towel wrapped around his slender waist. Shit. He still had his sexy nipple piercing which had always made me shamefully horny. My eyes quickly fell further, to his flat stomach. The towel was hanging rather low of his hips, I noted, and it only really reached mid-thigh. His legs, they were longer than I remember and far more shapely, not in a womanly way, more in a manly 'I've been running to keep fit' way.

Looking back up at his face, I saw that he was staring directly at me and that his cheeks were flushed. I soon became aware that I was partly standing in his way while I'd been stood there gawping at his semi-naked body.

"Sorry." I was still gazing at him as I and stood back and moved nearer to the wall so he could walk out. When he took his first step forward his towel slipped from his body and, well, I saw _everything_. Worse still, he appeared to be semi-erect. Yamato blushed as he quickly crouched down, flashing a lot more flesh as he did, and picked his towel up and wrapped it back around the lower half of his body, a lot more tightly this time.

My jaw was on the floor, metaphorically speaking, and my thoughts were a mixture of perplexity and disbelief. That did _not_ just happen. Yamato was still stood there in his non-existent towel. Fuck, it did. Now knowing what was underneath that towel I knew how easy it would have been for me to rip it from him and...

I hurried past him into the bathroom, locking the door hastily before I sat on the toilet lid and placed a hand over my mouth to try and calm myself down. I didn't know why my heart was beating so fast, I'd seen him naked hundreds of times in the past. This time was different of course. Forbidden fruit, it was always the most exotic, not to mention tempting in a mouth-watering kind of way. The one thing that bothered me the most was when had he started shaving, and who for? Like it mattered, I told myself, I had Dai.

Yamato's body had definitely matured though; he was still skinny, but now had a hint of muscle tone. And he was shaven...

In the end I had to take a _very _cold shower and tried my best to recite a few law related articles I had read before the summer break (for an essay if you must know). Fortunately it did the trick and fifteen minutes later I was out the bathroom and rummaging through my unpacked suitcase trying to decide on something to wear.

I wasn't sure what the plans were for the day, I had been relying on Yamato to inform me each day, but I prayed I could etch the image of Yamato's naked toned body out from my mind by at least lunch time. It was a miracle I had managed to resist my urges to pounce on him outside the bathroom. I actually thought that since I managed to handle myself so well in that situation (no, not in _that_ way), maybe I could last another week with Yamato without letting my hormones get the better.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

~*~*~*~*~*

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D-Angel: So there we go, another chapter. Hoping it was worth the wait, especially that scene at the end. I was giggling to myself when I wrote that, haha. Right, next chapter, already partly written because I couldn't resist prematurely writing the scene everyone's been waiting for –wink-. Hoping there's no obvious grammatical errors in there... I'm sure I'll see them once this has uploaded and I'll sort them out then, lol.

Anyways, Keep checking my profile for update information. Thanks for reading and for all your wonderful reviews, hopefully I can update this soon...

Well, review if you must, and I'll see you all next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel  
09/01/10


	5. Chapter 5

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Here is the next chapter, sorry again for the wait but you know me by now! I'm pushed for time at the moment, so I'm just going to quickly say thanks for all the lovely reviews so far and will let you read on!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Nudity, sex and all that -smirks-

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~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 5

~*~*~*~*~*

I missed Daisuke. I was standing outside in Yamato's garden smoking a cigarette with the stars staring down at me when I realised this.

It was strange. Whilst at University I only used to see Daisuke roughly every other weekend, and occasionally once or twice a month, so I was frustrated that I was struggling to be without him whilst staying with Yamato. Then again, the circumstances were _a lot _different. I was admittedly scared. Scared I'd cave in to my lustful desires. Every passing hour was now becoming a struggle, ever since the towel incident.

Just as I was thinking about whether I could afford a new plane ticket home, the garden door slid open unexpectedly and out stepped Yamato into the warm night's air. We both jumped in shock before quickly regaining our composures so we could greet each other. It was too late to hide my cigarette; I knew Yamato had obviously already seen it. I smiled shyly as he strolled over and stood beside me with a hand tucked away in one of his dressing gown's pocket.

"You still smoke then?" It was a question not to be answered.

I peeped down as he unveiled a packet of smokes from his pocket.

"Well thank fuck for that." Yamato smiled before he slid one between his lips and lit it up with his lighter. "I couldn't give up _everything_,"

"So, you were smoking on the sly?" I asked in amusement after breathing in another mouthful of toxic smoke.

"Yeah, I didn't want you to see," Yamato confessed as he scratched his free hand against his chin. "I'm glad I caught you actually, doesn't feel right being secretive around you."

You had no problem being secretive when you were screwing your drug dealer behind my back, I thought bitterly. I quickly mentally scolded myself for thinking that. It was uncalled for; things had not been ideal back then for the both of us.

Forcing a small smile to appear on my face, I rubbed my hand against my arm and watched as Yamato gracefully breathed out a mouthful of smoke into the cool night's air. He always had this captivating way of smoking; he treated it more like an art than a dirty habit. I suppose that's how I had got hooked on it.

"I thought this would be harder admittedly," Yamato revealed as he briefly closed his eyes and fiddled with the cigarette between his index and middle finger.

"Mmm, I know what you mean," I responded in the calm haze that had somewhat engulfed us. Despite having a few minor moments of awkwardness since we had reunited, I realised that I felt more relaxed with Yamato than I did with _anyone_ else.

"I missed you." He paused and scrunched up his face, he hadn't intended to say that. I was stunned that he had potentially been thinking the same thing as me. He opened his mouth again, probably to try and cover up his error. "Do you miss him?"

"Who?" Of course I knew the answer, but my mind was still trying to work its way around Yamato's previous comment.

"Daisuke, who else?"

There was a hint of resentment in his voice, I noted.

"Oh, well yeah, I do."

"Why did he let you come here?" Yamato fired another awkward question as me almost immediately. However, when I thought about it, I wasn't so sure why Daisuke had let me come here either. I had originally guessed that Dai wanted to prove that he trusted me, until he had phoned me and proclaimed that he missed me and wanted me to come home. He was frightened, someone must have planted a seed of doubt in his mind, I was certain of that.

I bit the inside of my mouth and sighed inwardly; there was no harm in telling Yamato about Daisuke's behaviour, I supposed.

"Before I left, he was happy to let me go see you. But now, I think he wants me to come back home," I explained whilst I looked down at my hands, regretting saying that to him. There was possible nothing Yamato could say in response to that; I knew that even I would have stayed quiet...

"Personally, if I was Daisuke, I wouldn't have let you go," Yamato stated. My head jerked up at his words. I felt more than annoyed when I saw that he was staring at me with his piercing eyes.

"What?" I frowned as Yamato turned his head to the side and looked up at the moon.

"I could quite easily trust you, but how would I know what's on your ex-boyfriend's mind?"

I knew all too well what he was saying, what he was implying. Yamato kept his eyes locked with my eyes as he took another drag of cigarette. I had to be careful with what I next said.

"This isn't about you, Yama," I spoke with affirmation. "Besides, Daisuke's different."

Yamato didn't respond to that, although his silence revealed more than enough to me. When he went quiet in the middle of a conversation, it was often bad news. It meant that there was something he wanted to say, but he knew I wouldn't like it.

I sighed gently before I stubbed my cigarette out in the soil of a nearby plant pot.

"I need some sleep."

Yamato eyed me as I started to make my way towards the door. I wondered what he was thinking, until he suddenly threw his cigarette onto the ground and grabbed me, before he pulled my body right against his and just held me. I almost melted in his arms. His embrace was so warm and he smelt so... tempting.

Dazed and frightened, I pushed him away. I _had _to. He was driving me crazy. Yamato closed his eyes and sighed deeply. I folded my arms across my chest and focused on slowing my breathing, although I was finding it near enough impossible to stop my heart from beating at a furious rate.

My eyes flickered back towards him as I heard his shoes scruff against the patio so he could stamp out his discarded cigarette.

"I'm gonna go clean my teeth," Yamato murmured as he turned away from me and stepped back into the house. Anger shook through my body as I watched him leave. I wanted to chase after him, smash my fist against his face for holding me so _intimately_. But truthfully I knew that if I followed him, all my rage would diminish the moment my hand would grab his shoulder to spin him around.

I knew I couldn't stay here any longer, that in itself was obvious. Yet, shamefully, a part of me craved to find out what exactly _would _happen if I did stay.

~*~*~*~*~*

By 2am I was still awake and dressed in my jeans and a baggy t-shirt. I stood by my suitcase mustering the courage to pack up and leave. It was too dangerous for me to stay any longer, I reflected, yet I couldn't find the strength to start packing. I groaned heavily and headed back towards my bed and grabbed my mobile phone from the bedside table. Flicking through picture after picture of Daisuke and his cheeky grin was the only thing I could do to try and give me the motivation I needed to leave, I decided.

A light knock on the door made me jump. I lowered my phone away and out from my view as my sleep deprived brain began to ponder over who it was knocking at the door. I soon enough realised it could only be Yamato.

It was so surreal, this sort of stuff was never supposed to happen in real life. It was like fate was literally throwing every last obstacle it could at me to prevent me from staying faithful. A cup of sexy ex-boyfriend was the _last_ thing I wanted when my mind was currently going through complete turmoil.

When Yamato rapped his knuckles against the door once more, I stared over at the inanimate object as through narrowed eyes, hoping that I was just hearing things, or that I was just dreaming.

"Can I come in?" Yamato's voice asked, somewhat snapping me out of my state of fear momentarily.

"Yeah, sure," I said, before mentally kicking myself. I should have done the whole pretending to be asleep on the bed thing; I wasn't prepared to talk to Yamato about the apparent attraction we still had for each other. The door opened slowly, yet I still breathed in deeply when Yamato came into my view. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier; jeans and a t-shirt like me, and thanks to the dark bags under his eyes, it was obvious he was exhausted.

"I can't sleep," Yamato explained the unnecessary as he made his way into the room, keeping the door wide open. A delicate chill ran down my spine. I was expressionless and vulnerable, and Yamato was restless and impulsive.

No, my mind weakly cried as Yamato started to step forward. When he reached me and placed his hand on my shoulder, I dropped my phone onto the floor, cringing at the dull thud it made as it hit the carpet. As he moved his body closer to mine, I looked down at a picture of Daisuke's smiling face still on my phone's display screen before I glanced back up at Yamato. His other hand swept gently across my cheek as he gazed into my puzzled depths. I shivered and my legs began to buckle.

"W-What are you doing?" I questioned as he traced his thumb around the outline of my lips.

"I don't know," Yamato responded in a breathless whisper. The hand that was resting on my shoulder slipped down to my hip as he lent forwards and skimmed his lips against mine for several seconds, toying with the action of kissing me. My heart was racing and my mind was becoming a blur. I was losing the battle...

"Yama, no," I breathed as I squeezed my eyes shut. He didn't move for what seemed like an eternity, as if he was locked in an inescapable state of lustful trauma. I could taste his desperation against my parted lips and didn't know what else I could do or say to stop him.

"Fuck," he muttered as he tilted his head away from me, "we can't go on like this."

Yamato took a step back.

"We can't," I reinforced. At that point there were only two possible solutions; the most sensible would have been for me to tell Yamato that I had to leave. The second would agreeably be the worst but the most quick fix solution. However, there would be no guarantee to where things would lead afterwards.

"I'll drive you to the airport in the morning then," Yamato said after glancing over at my messy opened suitcase. A sickening sensation lashed against my heart; I hadn't expected Yamato to be the one to come out with the solution that we both knew was best. We were a dangerous combination, like gasoline and fire, and other people were going to get hurt.

"Is that ok?" Yamato asked as he took another step away from me.

I nodded before I realised something. Yamato's usual mask of ice had slipped. His eyes were full of emotion; sadness, frustration...desire. I couldn't stop myself from tearing my gaze away, especially when he parted his tender lips.

"I was stupid to think you'd want me again, after everything I did. You've got Daisuke now, plus Sora will kill me if I..." Yamato sighed out in clear frustration and pressed a hand against his forehead before he spun around. "Goodnight."

My eyes widened as he began walking slowly towards the door.

I didn't want him to go, and _I _didn't want to leave. Not now.

"Wait, Yammy," The nickname slipped out from my lips before I even had time to think, and it sounded awfully cute. He stopped walking and lingered at the doorway for several seconds. I sensed what he was thinking, but I didn't believe he would act upon it.

"Fuck it," he said.

Yamato spun around and marched towards me. I had no time to react as his lips slammed hard against mine and his arms embraced me in a protective cocoon. We fell back onto the mattress and kept on kissing. It was wrong, oh so wrong and I had probably had the power to push him away, but I was in a hypnotic state and animal instincts shortly took over. I couldn't lie any longer, to myself or Yamato. I wanted him so badly.

Our clothes were soon strewn across the room and my heart was drumming against my chest like never before. I ached so badly, every little touch was blissfully agonising. I wanted him to break the final barrier, for us to love each other like we used to without worrying about anyone else. Selfish, perhaps, but with his hands resting on my waist, and his hardness pressing against my leg, I was unable to think rationally.

My body was burning as Yamato drove into me, resting one of my legs on his shoulders while one of his hands caressed my erection. I was overwhelmed by an indescribable feeling of emotional rapture, especially as he moaned and panted alongside me as the rhythm of his hips grew more frantic and desperate. I reached up and ran my hand across his cheekbones before I arched my spine as I hit the point of release. He leant forwards and pressed his lips against mine to suppress my moans of ecstasy. My entire body was convulsing and tingling with the pleasurable sensation I had craved since the moment Yamato had picked me up from the airport.

Afterwards, we were tangled in the bed sheets breathing heavily. We held each other close while I allowed my hand to run through his damp blonde hair. He sighed silently in what I hoped was contentment before he briefly brushed his lips against my neck. With his hot fingertips tracing against my naked skin, running up and down my hips and lower back, I knew that once wasn't enough. I had missed his touch and I needed more of him.

I shivered as he entered me again, and as we continued to sway in unison, I didn't want the night to end.

We made love three, maybe even four more times, or perhaps more... by the time the morning sun was peering through the flimsy blinds, I had already lost count. I was stuck in a trance, one that I could have quite happily stayed in for the rest of my life. The only thing that seemed to matter was fuelling our desires. It was exhaustion that stopped us in the end, and I ended up having one of the most peaceful sleeps that I had had in a long time.

~*~*~*~*~*

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D-Angel: Finally, it happened. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, hehe. Love can really screw with one's emotions and makes them do crazy, irrational things, without fully weighing out the consequences. I think I managed to capture that in this chapter. The next chapter is going to be interesting to say the least, now that the barrier between Tai and Yama's been destroyed. Oh, and poor Dai, lol.

Hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter, let me know what you think about the story so far! I may not have the next chapter out for a couple of months because I seriously need to focus on my other stories, but hopefully it will be worth the wait.

Anyways, thank you for reading. I shall see you next chapter :)

* * *

D-Angel

26/03/10


	6. Chapter 6

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel:  Hey everyone, hope you're all well. Thought I'd force myself to update on something after taking a whole month off from writing anything. I think it's done me some good; I have some new ideas for my current works which I hope you'll find interesting. This Chapter is short but sweet, well, maybe bittersweet, hehe. I aim to focus more on getting the plot rolling forward in Chapter 7... I'm sure you guys will be entertained by this chapter anyways; there's my usual smut and angst within.

Without further delay, read on and enjoy!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Smut, Angst, general filth

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Chapter 6

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The regret hit me harder than anything I had experienced previously. I peeled myself from Yamato's embrace and staggered out of bed, my thighs still sticky from our restless night of passion. A night of betrayal. I couldn't believe what I had done. Poor Daisuke, I had deceived him in the worse way possible.

"Taichi," Yamato's voice was drowsy and hoarse; my abrupt movements had obviously stirred him from his sleep. He remained stretched across the bed; I could feel his puzzled eyes watching me edge towards the door, "Come back to bed..."

"I need a shower," I interrupted him in a cold tone, unable to even stare him in the eye. I heard the mattress creak as he sat up, but I was already out of the room at that point hurrying towards the bathroom with a sickening sinking sensation in my stomach. As the piping hot shower water lashed against my skin I felt an aching need to phone Daisuke and confess, but I knew at this stage such a phone call would only cause more trouble than good.

Returning to the spare bedroom with a large fluffy towel wrapped around me- which Yamato had let me borrow for the duration of my stay- I instantly noticed the bed was empty and the sheets had been stripped, so at least the physical evidence was out the way. After dressing, I scooped my remaining belongings and scattered clothing off from the floor and crammed them all into my suitcase without bothering to fold a single thing.

I did a quick scan around the room, slapping my hand against my forehead when I saw my phone resting on the bedside table. Rushing over to the offending object, I realised the display screen was lit up, notifying me that I had a new text message. I hesitated to click the confirm button to open the text, more than aware reading it would only multiple my guilt a million times over, but my trembling finger eventually fought against my wishes.

_Missing you. Not long left until I see you again, senpai ;) x x x_

I bit down on my lower lip and shoved my phone into my jeans' pocket, scowling as I marched back over to my suitcase. I was officially the biggest dick in the world. Daisuke didn't deserve this, and I didn't deserve _him._

Once I had dashed out the room and down the hallway, I dropped my baggage besides the front door then stared down blankly at my scruffy trainers resting in the shoe rack by the door. Breathing out an irritated sigh I realised this wasn't the right thing to do; not without letting Yamato know first. I was twenty years old, not a carefree teenager; such mistakes had to be face and I had to iron out the reckless error we had made.

Ten or so minutes later, my feet carried me to the living room. I stood near the sofa and gazed at the photos on top of the television set, consisting of individual pictures of Yamato, his parents, and his late brother Takeru. Even in photographs his family was fragmented. I tore my focus away from the pictures when Yamato emerged through the doorway, dressed in a pale pair of blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt, his hair slightly damp and messy from his shower. The expression he wore was serious, but I could see the flames of anxiety flickering in his eyes when he approached me.

"Tai, let's sit down and talk."

I instantly frowned. Talk? What was there to talk about? The damage had already been done, a heart had been betrayed. There was only one practical solution left, and although it would sting, it was the right thing to do.

"It was stupid of me to come here in the first place," my true thoughts wormed their way out from my mouth. A look of hurt rippled through the depths of Yamato's eyes, but I knew he realised I was right when he pressed his lips together tightly and a made a brief and subtle 'mmm' sound from the pit of his throat.

"I'm leaving before this gets anymore out of hand," I claimed assertively, placing my heel firmly down on the situation. As I turned away from him, preparing to walk out the room, my eyes were on the verge of watering as tears started to form. I realised had to settle the deadly battle between my head and my heart once and for all, and walking away was perhaps the least painful option at the time; yet still I was hesitating.

"Idiot," he growled in a low voice before grabbing my arm, "I'm not letting you leave my side again."

I tried not to panic as he tugged me towards him, but I hadn't predicted Yamato would act this way.

"Yama," I tried to snipe firmly, but my voice came out as a gentle whimper. For a moment he loosened his grip on my arm and the harsh look on his face softened. I think, for just a few seconds, reality hit him square on as he realised what he was doing was essentially dangerous. I couldn't relax; more than aware he wasn't going to stop and _try_ to walk away this time.

"As long as you're here, you're mine," his tone was stern and commanding as were his following actions. I shivered as he pressed his body against mine and placed both hands firmly on my waist, pushing me back towards the wall closest to the sofa. I would have hated such possessiveness when we had first started dating, but for some reason it was now an undeniable turn-on. He was claiming me as _his. _He desired me. He wanted me.

I still tried to push him off me, though somehow he overpowered me and forced our lips together while keeping me pinned firmly up against the wall. Roughness and assertiveness were two things I had missed during foreplay. Daisuke was rarely forceful when it came to our lovemaking and often allowed me to take charge. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I regularly found myself holding back, worried I would get too carried away and end up hurting him.

However, with Yamato there had always been a fight for dominance, and subconsciously I quite enjoyed it whenever he won. He had always known what he wanted and knew exactly how to get it; and at the same time, he knew how to keep me satisfied. With his teeth grazing against my neck I could think of nothing else but the ways he could eliminate my sexual frustrations.

Now my trousers and underwear were by Yamato's feet and my legs were wrapped around his slender waist. My heart felt like it was clawing its way up my tightening throat; I wasn't sure how much more of this I could endure- I craved him more than ever. He looked me in the eyes before he smirked and pushed into me and started to thrust.

The sex was pure animalistic but riddled with passion- the way I liked it best. Yamato soon carried me away from the wall and pushed me back onto the sofa and continued from there. It was incredible, even better than the sex we had been when we were younger, before all the problems which had gradually surrounded and slowly suffocated our relationship.

The rhythmic sound of his skin slapping against mine synchronised with our heavy pants and desperate sighs. Once again I lost control; lost in a moment of wild infatuation. I refused to let his name escape from my lips, although I couldn't prevent my stifled gasps of ecstasy as I tumbled over the point of no return. My body was still shaking as Yamato slid out from me, his face glowing vibrantly.

"Amazing," Yamato breathlessly gasped after crashing down on the sofa and held me tightly in his arms.

"Don't say that," I said snappily, shattering out of my state of desire, my cheeks flushing bright red with shame. The word inappropriate couldn't even begin to describe Yamato's words and physical actions at the time.

"But it was," Yamato confessed as his fingers traced around my belly button in loose circles. A nauseous sensation instantly churned within my stomach. I abruptly sat up, breaking out of Yamato's arms with relative ease. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Poor Daisuke; I couldn't possible look him in the eye again without giving away my guilt. I buried my face into the palm of my hands, unable to hold back my sobs.

"Shit, Chi." His eyes were wide with panic as he sat up. I didn't flinch when he briefly brushed his soft hand against my arm. "I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was make you cry."

"I-I really shouldn't have come here," I whimpered through the tears which were stinging my eyes, like salt on an open wound.

"I know," Yamato responded, dropping both his hands onto his lap, his eyes uneasily gazing around the room as if he was searching for something. I later learnt he was retracing the steps, the instances, which had led to this particular dilemma.

Once I had calmed down we sat there for a while, unable to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere. With each growing minute I became more aware of our nakedness and the mess had both made on the sofa, and in our lives.

"I'd better clean up again," I broke the peaceful guilty silence unintentionally, speaking my thoughts without a moment's reflection. Wobbling unsteadily as I shimmied across the room to grab my discarded clothing. I saw a relieved expression etch across Yamato's face as he pulled and zipped up his jeans and announced he was going to make us some food. That's when I realised I would be staying until the end of the week. The sex had evidently sealed that decision.

Good, I decided as I showered for the second time that day. Running away had never really been my style. Instead I was gladly going to stay and let him know that I wasn't going to sleep with him again. Fortunately I hadn't quite dropped my defences enough for him to entice me further into his hypnotic daze, so I wouldn't end up falling back in love with him or allow him to have me locked in his embrace again.

Daisuke was my lover- Yamato's replacement- and as much as I didn't deserve him, I didn't want to stab him in the back any more times than I already had. I decided it was only fair to tell Daisuke face-to-face what had happened when I returned to Tokyo in less than five days time. Perhaps if I acted pathetic enough he would forgive me and ban me from seeing Yamato again.

Gazing at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, focusing on the apparent dark bags pooled underneath my bloodshot eyes, I felt disgusted for feeding my own mind with bittersweet lies. I had already missed my window of opportunity; I should have left whilst I was somehow able to resist Yamato. Now, the weight of my self-restraint seemed heavier than ever and I was unsure how much longer I could hold the dense and battered shield up for. My arms were already tired.

* * *

D-Angel: So basically, Taichi's emotions are all over the place and he's struggling to be faithful to Dai, heh. I must be a bit of a sadist for torturing him, but hey ho, that's my job as an author I guess.

Tai: No, it really isn't.

D-Angel:  Shut up you and get back in your box.

Tai:  _-Sobs as he walks away-_

D-Angel: Well, yeah, Chapter 7 is currently in the making and may be ready in a month or so (i.e. probably 5 months). I'll try and update a couple of my other stories first, namely Shattered Illusions as I was meant to finish that _years _ago. Yeah, I slack, but at least I can now use my job as an excuse for my lack of being able to write time. I wish I could write my stories at work, but I think I would get fired to be honest...

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, there's a lot more drama to come, so stay tuned!

Shall see you all next chapter :D

* * *

D-Angel

5/01/11

(First 2011 update, lol)


	7. Chapter 7

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: So yeah, I pretty much wrote this chapter in the space of two weeks, which is pretty impressive for me, lol. It wasn't intentional, but once I started writing it I just couldn't stop. I was just eager to try and move the story somewhat forward I guess. This chapter is pretty long as well, but packed full of interesting stuff (I hope, hehe). Oh, and yey for your feedback so far! Love it!

Read on and enjoy you sexy lot!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst and strong language from the very start (lol)

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Chapter 7 

* * *

"We can't fuck anymore."

With Yamato I knew I had to be blunt. He always read between the lines, digging out an entirely different meaning, and perhaps more truthful edge, within the words I spoke. It was difficult to keep anything hidden from him at the best of times. Reflectively, it didn't particularly help that we were curled up side by side on Yamato's bed when I told him that we had to stop screwing each other; my head resting upon his warm and slightly moist chest. He didn't necessarily have to read between the lines to realise that I craved him more than anything.

Soon there were only four more nights left before I returned to Odaiba. I had hurried off to bed early on the first of those nights; partly to avoid ending up in bed with Yama again, but mainly because my head felt heavy and there was an irritating tickling sensation looming in my depths of my throat. I awoke in the middle of the night to a damp mattress. For one mortifying moment I feared I'd lost control of my bladder in my sleep; but then, as I gradually sat up, I realised sweat was dripping from every possible pour in my body and my limbs were aching, as if I had just run a marathon.

Wrapping the duvet tightly around my body, I was unable to stop my body from shaking. Despite knowing my temperature was sky high, it felt like I was sitting in a room made only of ice. My teeth started chattering together as I grew more aware of my current state, and conflict my body temperature was having with my mind. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and I became convinced that I was about to die.

"Yama," I croaked weakly; my raw throat felt like I had swallowed a delightful ball of barbwire coated in salt and lemon. I called his name again somewhat louder, wincing in discomfort at the pain clawing at the inside of my throat like a rabid monster.

Moments later, after repeating his name several more times, Yamato burst through the door, his hair ruffled and his pyjama bottoms on back to front. Within seconds he was leaning over me, his eyes stricken with panic seconds after placing his cold hand against my forehead. He snapped his hand away as if he had accidentally caught the edge of a heated cooking utensil.

"You're burning up," Yamato announced, his tone was drowsy but merged with clear apprehension. I moaned pathetically as he left the room, and shortly returned with a washcloth and glass of water clasped in one of his slim hands.

Without a moment's hesitation Yamato tore the bed covers away from my body and perched on the edge of the mattress. As he pressed the freezing cold soggy flannel against my throbbing brow a soothing rush of relief gradually swept down across my body, right down to the tips of my toes.

"Feeling better?" Yamato asked as he gazed down at my pained face in the darkness.

"I'm c-cold," I complained. My clammy hands tried to scramble about for the duvet, but soon gave up after I realised Yama had thrown them completely off the bed. Realising my discomfort, Yamato helped me sit up then handed over the glass of water which he had placed on the bedside table.

"This will help." Yamato kept his arm fixed around my waist, supporting me upright as I hungrily gulped down the glass of water he had handed over to me, savouring the tasteless liquid, sighing as it briefly eased my sore throat until the final drop had left the glass. Yama leant towards me; his lips skimming against my own before he sealed the gap and kissed me, then he effortlessly grabbed the empty glass from my loose grip.

"Try and relax," Yamato's velvet voice hushed as he lowered my upper body back down onto the mattress and ran his gentle hand across my cheek, "I'll be right back."

I whined loudly as he rushed out the room. This time it seemed like he was gone for much longer. As my eyes focused on my darkened surroundings, trying to take my mind off my ill state, the ceiling gradually began drifting further away as did the walls and the rest of the furniture. I felt unbearably vulnerable, and I'm reluctant to admit I was frightened.

The empty void lurking in my stomach was once again filled when Yamato came back, this time with a blanket which I gladly draped over my body once he had dropped it down onto my sweaty body; despite it did next to nothing to stop the bitter chill and deliria I was feeling. A familiar warmth enveloped me however when Yamato crawled fully onto the bed, although he was careful not to snuggle up too closely to me, worried I would overheat or something. He stayed by my side holding my hand until I finally drifted back off into a virus induced sleep.

Over the next couple of days I was advised not to get out of bed, therefore Yamato was unable to continue his planned tour of Osaka for me. It was a shame, but then again, I knew that if I hadn't got ill we would have been rolling around together between the sheets, exploring each other instead of Osaka.

My fever passed by the following night, although my throat was still red raw and my nose was still a little bit sore and runny. Yamato relished playing nurse; taking my temperature at regular intervals and bringing me aspirin and lemon tea with honey. It was more than what Daisuke had ever done for me when I had been ill several months ago... Not that I resented him for it. He was, well, still a kid, and more than often I was the one looking after him.

Yamato did his best to keep me entertained, particularly with his guitar playing and by cooking me fresh miso soup and okayu; my two favourite dishes to chow down on whenever I was sick (well, they were the only ones I could physical stomach). I was almost fighting fit on the final night, which crept up on us all too quickly.

"It's a shame you didn't get to do everything you wanted," Yamato spoke with resentment during dinner that evening.

"I got to see you, didn't I?" I placed my chopsticks down, smirking as his cheeks gradually turned an appealing shade of pink. An embarrassed Yamato was such a deliciously rare sight, and it somehow managed to just about mask out the guilt buried in the core of my heart. Daisuke had been phoning and texting me quite a bit since finding out I'd fallen ill (Yamato had answered my phone whilst I was elegantly puking my guts up in the toilet). He was eager for me to return home, although he didn't suggest that I should try and catch an earlier flight.

Despite I was feeling a lot better since the night of my fever, Yamato still insisted he'd pack my suitcase for me after I stubbornly decided I would do all the washing and drying up.I predicted Yama would have been done packing the majority of my bits by the time I had finished washing up. However, by the time I edged into the spare room, all my clothes and belongings were neatly folded and stacked _outside_ the suitcase which would have been empty if it wasn't for Yamato sitting in it, his knees tucked up against his chest and slender arms wrapped around his legs.

He tilted his head up, exposing his paler than usual face.

"Take me with you, Chi-Chi."

As his voice cracked, I realised he had been trying to lighten the mood but hadn't quite manage to succeed. The realisation that we wouldn't probably see each other again for quite some time had crumbled down on top of him, and now his face was stricken with solid sorrow.

I knelt down still gazing into Yamato's blue depths and placed both my hands on his cheeks. His skin was burning hot and he was trembling. Tears were welling up in his eyes. An overwhelming wave of sadness crashed over me when two audible sobs fell from his lips. I hated seeing him like that. His arms wrapped around my waist and buried his head into my t-shirt, his tears soaking through as he continued to cry. I couldn't believe that on top of us having to part again Yama had caught my cold.

He felt surprisingly light in my arms as I lifted him up and carried him onto the bed before I helped him out of his damp clothes. That night it was my turn to play nurse.

* * *

I can't say I slept properly that night; knowing I had to be up in less than three hours when I'd finally succeeded in stabilising Yamato's temperature somewhat. After I stuffed my folded clothes and other belongings as best as I could into my suitcase and hand luggage bag, I perched back down onto the bed and removed the lukewarm flannel from Yamato's forehead.

A small croak fell from Yamato's parted lips and then his eyes gradually flickered open. His fingernails lightly clawed against the fabric covering the mattress, making a soft grinding noise. I ended up taking his hand in mine; his body quickly relaxed as I massaged his palm and elongated fingers.

"My flights in a few more hours," I announced despondently, letting go of Yamato's hand, "I have to head to the airport soon to check in and stuff."

"I'll drive you," Yamato insisted, kicking the blanket away from his body. He clumsily swung his long legs off the mattress whilst keeping one hand clutched against his brow; I readied myself to catch him in case he fell. As he stood on the spot momentarily I noticed he was quivering whilst trickles of sweat were still dripping- like lonely raindrops- down his porcelain skin. "Come along."

"No," I snapped, perhaps a little too sharply. After taking a calming breath in, I continued to talk. "You can't drive, not when you're in the same state I was."

"Ha," Yamato exhaled before he slumped back down bedsides me on the edge of the bed and momentarily gazed up at the ceiling. "Nothing compares to how shit you feel when you come off heroin," he meekly joked.

During my stay in Itami I couldn't find the confidence to ask how things had been for him during those years of recovery; but as I later found out, it hadn't been a breeze. Yama closed his eyes and placed a shaky hand against his right upper arm, clearly reliving the battle he had faced whilst in rehab.

"Perhaps you're right," Yamato eventually admitted the truth of the matter, although there was reluctance in his hoarse voice. "I'll sort you out a taxi instead."

Relief would have edged through my body, but I couldn't stand the thought of Yamato being ill and alone; even though I knew he could cope better than I could. To leave him like that after he had taken such great care of me made me feel like such a criminal.

"I would stay, to look after you, but..." It wasn't all about Yamato I suddenly reminded myself. "Daisuke would..."

"...It wouldn't be such a good idea anyway," Yamato spoke over me as he carefully climbed to his feet once more, brushing his hand against my arm for a fleeting moment. "My Dad returns home tomorrow evening."

Of course, we both lived such different lives.

My Mum had always been relaxed with me, allowing me to get on with my life as I pleased (so long as I wasn't harming myself). Whereas, since Yamato had left rehab, his dad was completely paranoid that his son was going to end up back on drugs, which is why he insisted that Yamato stayed in Osaka and commuted to University for his lectures and seminars, opposed to just allowing him to go live in Kyoto and allowing him the freedom any twenty year old student deserves.

Sadly, I knew Natsuko- Yamato's mum- was responsible for that decision; she had Yamato's dad completely under the thumb. I later learnt that another one of her rules was blacklisting me from Yamato's life... Something about me being a poisonous influence. I can't say that I blamed her for having that impression of me; things were never destined to go smoothly when we first met at Yamato's brother's funeral.

The wait by the front door was agonising, like an irritating blister rubbing against the back of a shoe. Yamato and I made small talk, although I was more than aware that his throat was probably killing him. I opened the door the moment I heard the faded sound of tires crunching against gravel, feeling sick to my stomach as I stepped outside into the bright and beaming sunlight. Not only was I leaving Yama behind but I was soon going to see Daisuke for the first time after severely cheating on him.

"Call me when you get home," Yamato instructed as he leant against the front doorframe, his eyes squinting somewhat. With the sun shining down onto his face, I saw the true extent of how badly his illness was affecting his physical appearance. His hair was a little greasy and dishevelled and heavy bags were tucked under his eyes, contrasting against his pasty skin. It somewhat reminded me of four years ago, at the point where Yamato had just started fiddling with hard drugs.

"Don't worry about me," I affirmed, shuffling a little bit towards him in hope I could get him to edge back inside the house, "get back to bed and rest."

Yamato rolled his eyes. "You really haven't changed a bit, Chi."

When his lips curled up into a small strained smile I couldn't help but tilt my head towards his, solely drawn to his magnetic lips. However, I moved my head away and arched an eyebrow when Yamato took a single step back after sharply poking his finger against my stomach.

"I don't want you getting ill, again." That playful smile was still lingering on his face.

Like catching my own virus back mattered, I thought. I threw my hand luggage onto the floor and placed my hand behind the back of Yamato's head, curling my fingers around several strands of his hair, before forcing his mouth against mine. My head started spinning as he placed an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to his burning hot body (only covered by the thin dressing gown he was wearing). Pulling away was difficult, but when the taxi rudely beeped his horn I realised our time together here was up.

I waved to him as I climbed into my taxi, and then quickly turned my head around to look out the side window after settling my soft luggage bag down by my feet and fastening my seatbelt. Yama was stood stiffly in the doorway; he looked so pale and rigid he reminded me of a susceptible sculptured statue. As the car drove away, down the driveway, I continued to look over my shoulder through the rear view window. I witnessed him bury a hand into his face, concealing his mouth as he swayed when his knees buckled and he _almost_ collapsed onto the ground.

Seconds later, the taxi driver turned right and Yamato disappeared from my view altogether. In all my life I had never felt so broken. My arms remained hanging limply by my sides as the unforgettable display of Yamato practically crumbling before my eyes replayed in my mind over and over again. He had managed to be so strong up until that point; and despite it was hauntingly refreshing to see him express his raw emotions, it only made things harder for me to try and forget about everything that had happened between us in the space of two weeks. I knew, however, that I couldn't afford to express my sorrow, not when I knew it was my turn to be strong; my turn to lie to Daisuke. Lie like Ken had to him with Miyako.

As the airport appeared in the near distance I managed to hold back my tears and buried my guilt as deep within my heart as I could whilst I headed back home to reality.

* * *

D-Angel: The above is going the last Yama/Tai scene for a little while now so I hope you all got your fix from this Chapter (despite it was laced with soooo much angst!). I've already got cracking on Chapter 8, but am also focusing on also trying to update my other (poor neglected) stories. There may be an update for something next month, unlikely to be this story though :(

Tai: Thank Gawd, you treat me so badly in this story!

D-Angel: Indeed I do :)

Tai:  :(

D-Angel:  Annnnyways, hope you likey this chapter and the story so far! Opinions, ideas and constructive criticism are always more than welcome; I do take them on board! Take care for now, and I'll see you next chapter (whenever and wherever that will be!).

* * *

D-Angel

13/02/11

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day to all!


	8. Chapter 8

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Seems that 2011 is my year of regular updates! Hehe. Thanks muchly for your support so far, hope you lot enjoy reading this chapter!

Rating: **M**

* * *

Chapter 8 

* * *

Daisuke's eyes instantly lit up like a kid at Christmas when he saw me shuffling out into the arrivals lounge amongst a sea of clueless passengers who couldn't spot their friends or relatives. I smiled and gave him a small wave, as if he was some sort of acquaintance I hadn't seen in years.

"Senpai!" Daisuke exclaimed as he rushed towards me like an excited puppy. I dropped my hand luggage onto the floor to catch him as he jumped up onto me, wrapping his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. His comforting homely scent should have made me go weak at the knees, but instead all I could do was stand there stiffly, holding him as close to me as possible.

I gave up on the elation I was desperate to feel and ruffled Daisuke's soft feathery hair, after lowering him back onto the ground.

"Hey kiddo." My voice still slightly croaky from the cold I had caught in Itami. Daisuke looked at me with his energetic brown eyes. For a split moment I was petrified he was going to somehow work out I had been unfaithful, but all he did was grin before he embraced me and moved his head up towards my own and pressed our lips pressed together. I kissed him back desperately, not caring that we were standing in the middle of a public airport.

I was amazed yet truly disgusted with the way I had swiftly put on such a false act by pretending I was thrilled to see Daisuke, when truthfully I'd almost thrown up on the plane worrying about what I would say to him the moment we were reunited. It all seemed in vain, I was somehow coping a lot better than I had anticipated.

That was one of the funny things about life. Things that always seem easy to begin with never quite are as simple as we think. It's only when people's defences drop and they become so overconfident that they reach the stage where they eventually start overcomplicating things. Petty problems and minor mistakes soon bubble up to the surface like giant boils ready to burst.

"Things have been pretty boring without you," Daisuke confessed when we were sitting on the bus back to Odaiba. I was gazing out of the window, one arm stretched loosely across Daisuke's shoulders, watching the gritty streets and familiar granular buildings pass us by. "I've missed you."

I craned my head around when he murmured those words, only loud enough for me to hear above the roar of the engine.

"Me too," I sighed, placing my hand on top of his and laced my fingers with his. Daisuke's eyes instantly lit up at my futile attempt of being affectionate towards him. I didn't understand how he couldn't see right through me. Daisuke must have realised my body was trembling slightly as he snuggled up to my chest, but he never questioned why. It wouldn't have surprised me if he'd thought it was related to the cold I was still partly recovering from.

"I've missed this too." The cheeky teen slid his other hand between my thighs, resting it on the bulge nestled within. Excitement automatically raced through my body as he stared back at me with wide bedroom eyes; a look I'd always found irresistible.

Needless to say, I screwed him especially hard that evening.

* * *

There was just under a month left before I had to return to Chiba for University purposes, and my personal life was slowly descending into a complete mess. Despite my attempts of keeping Daisuke happy, he was starting to notice my change in behaviour. The sex between us was still as regular as it used to be; in fact we were probably _doing it_ a lot more than before. Unfortunately, Dai had noted that I was being a lot rougher, and not in a good way. The poor guy had yelped out in pain on a couple of occasions when I had been too wrapped up in my own little world of warped pleasure.

I was trying so hard to keep things hot in the bedroom that I never realised the more vital aspects of our relationship were starting to decay. I was struggling to even converse with Daisuke, afraid the truth would leap out from my mouth like an erratic jack-in-the-box. Sex with Daisuke was pretty much just a diversion, a simple act to hide behind to prevent the guilt I was experiencing from becoming unbearable.

To say I wasn't thinking of Yamato the majority of the time I was being intimate with Daisuke would have been a complete lie. Thank God I hadn't heard from Yama since I'd text him to say I had got home alright. As harsh as it sounds, it made it slightly easier to pretend that nothing had happened between us in Osaka.

"Hello, Taichi-kun."

And now there was _this. _My little sister, Hikari, had phoned up and spoken to me wishing to arrange a date for us to meet up before the end of the summer break. I suggested the sooner the better.

My memories of Hikari were very fuzzy, like a damaged video tape, but I do remember feeling an overwhelming urge to protect and look after her whenever she was by my side. There were instances when she was there toddling around the house, then days later she'd be absent for a while. Mum always told me she was at the hospital because she had a 'poorly' heart; I recall visiting her once or twice, but never really fully understood what was going on.

Then, Hikari permanently disappeared from my life. Mum gave her up for adoption (although she lied to me and led me to believe she had died... yeah I know, how kind of her). Of course in my Mum's defence, she had still been suffering from postnatal depression after having me at the age of seventeen. Apparently I'd been a right handful, even my Dad admitted so. Still, Mum's behaviour had driven him away, and he left a few months after Hikari was adopted by a lovely family who couldn't have children of their own.

Even though my Dad _did _want some form of involvement in my life when I was still a child, Mum refused to let him have it. From the age of sixteen, I learnt all these truths (and a whole lot more) about my family, so willingly I gave my Dad the second chance he deserved. If I hadn't of, I wouldn't have got back in touch with Hikari.

"Hey," I responded to Hikari's greeting, perhaps a little less enthusiastically than I would have liked. Standing so calmly, she stuck out amongst the platform of strangers who were pushing and shoving each other aside barbarically as they clambered on or off the same subway train.

Hikari had certainly become such a pretty young thing. Her wispy shoulder length hair framed her seemingly delicate facial features perfectly like a pale China doll. The shade of her hair may have been slightly lighter than mine, but we shared the same rich shade of dark brown. However, they were haunted by a volume of maturity I realised exceeded my own.

This was reflected by the way she spoke whilst we headed towards Odaiba's seaside park. I learnt that Hikari, bright and academic, was eager to go to University to study nursing.

"When you've spent most your life in and out of hospital with people taking such great care of you, you just feel like you need to give something back," Hikari spoke in an enlightened tone, her eyes sparkled with raw emotion whilst she adjusted the strap of her bright red bag, which hung off from her shoulder.

It was amazing what I'd already learnt about Hikari by the time we had reached the seafront. Not only was she captain of her school's cheerleading team, it also turned out Hikari had been chatting to Daisuke a lot over the phone whilst I'd been in Osaka. He'd made it no secret that we were dating; despite I personally would have preferred to tell Hikari myself. Still, I was glad she was not the least bit judgemental about my sexuality, and was pleased about how much she seemed to admire Daisuke.

"He's so sweet," Hikari suddenly sounded a lot more like a younger sibling, excited and proud, "I'm happy you've found someone like him nii-san."

I winced when I heard those words and bit down on my lower lip. Hikari had to know about how much of a jerk I was, there were no two ways about it.

"I've done something terrible," I confessed, my hand was shaking as I lifted an unlit cigarette up towards my lips. Hikari kept her calm expression as I told her all about Yamato, the betrayal, and how I couldn't stop myself, even when I thought about the harm I could potentially do to Daisuke if he ever found out.

"I realise I don't deserve him."

I hoped would have said something immediately after I sighed those truthful words, but she remained quiet, appearing to be in deep thought as her eyes looked up at the clouds. I lit up my cigarette and felt my eyebrows furrow inwards. How could such a situation be analysed? The truth was I was an absolute dick who couldn't even control his own hormones.

"You still love Yamato, right?" Hikari eventually queried. It was a fair question, yet I gnawed uneasily on the butt of my cigarette as I stared out hopelessly to sea, praying I would suddenly get sucked away into the horizon but a spontaneous gust of wind.

"Things would be a whole lot easier if I didn't," I responded softly brushing away a few strands of my hair which were tickling my forehead. Thanks to self-neglect, I was way overdue a haircut.

"Taichi, a lot of people are forced to make difficult choices in life. Sometimes the consequences to their decisions are something they regret, but it's the only way people learn and become wiser," Hikari spoke without an instance of judgement in her voice. "If we always made the right decisions, or choices with the least conflicts, then how else would we learn from our mistakes?"

It made some sense, no one was perfect. Then again, certain choices couldn't be helped...

"I didn't choose to fall in love with Yamato," I groaned in irritation.

"Yes, but you chose to go visit him knowing the risks."

That was true. Damn she was wise.

"Be honest with Daisuke, it's the least you can do now that the deed's already been done," Hikari summarised, as I shut my eyes momentarily.

"I guess."

I threw my worn cigarette down onto the sands then automatically reached into my pocket for my near empty pack of smokes.

"Also, you shouldn't smoke, nii-san," Hikari added as she watched me slide another death stick out from the small green box clutched in my unsteady hand. My eyes only met hers for a split second before I quickly shoved the cigarette back into the box. I felt like such an idiot for smoking in front of my little sister, who only had had her heart transplant a couple of years ago.

"I shouldn't," I echoed, my words sounded hollow, meaningless. We both knew I had no intention to give up smoking just like that, but at least I had the sense to respectably not damage my sister's health. I realised then that my usual courageous self would struggle to tell Daisuke about my unfaithfulness straight away, if not at all.

* * *

D-Angel: N'aww, poor Tai. I could lie and say that things will be better for him in the next chapter, but that's far from the truth. I guess you guys know what's going to happen... I advise you grab some popcorn and a very comfy seat for the next chappy since it's going to be dramalicious, with plenty of angst. Hoorah! I'll try and get it out sometime in May, but I realise I also need to finish the last chapter of Shattered Illusions, and get new chapters out for a couple of stories I haven't updated since 2009, lol. I might make some edits to this chapter as well, so be sure to check back just in case!

Reviews are always welcome :)

I'm going to head off to my dance aerobics class now, haha. See you guys next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel

28/04/11


	9. Chapter 9

**A Bed Full of Memories**

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: I can't physically leave this story alone at the moment… The ideas just keep coming to me, even whilst I'm at work (which isn't a good thing when I suddenly space out for a few seconds, and then my boss notices…ha). Well, basically, I've been working on little bits of this chapter since I first started writing this story, and now I am pleased to unveil it to you all in all it's sexy fleshiness.

Tissues at the ready boys and girls… Read on and enjoy!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst and strong language

* * *

Chapter 9

* * *

Daisuke had returned to school, we hadn't had sex in almost two weeks, and I was smoking a hell of a lot more than usual. The thing was, Yamato had text me not too long after I had met up with my sister, apologising for not contacting me any sooner. Turned out he'd been seriously ill. The virus had not been easy on him, to the point where his Dad had almost taken him to the hospital. Apparently Yamato was still on some uber strong antibiotics, but he was feeling a lot better; the suggestive texts he had sent me were definitely proof of that.

It was no wonder why I'd been drifting further and further away from Daisuke. By that point, he hadn't mentioned that things were strained between us, although I knew he'd started suspecting something was amiss. I should have just told him about sleeping with Yamato from the very moment he came to collect me from the airport, or at least after Hikari had rightly said he deserved to know the truth. There'd been so many window of opportunities and I had stubbornly decided not to take any of them, hoping in vain I could revert back to normality with Daisuke.

So that's why on Friday I invited him over for dinner and a bit one on one time, having not seen him since the beginning of the week. Ten days remained before I had to head back to Chiba so I knew I had to make the most out of the time we had left together.

Things were strained from the moment I collected him from the school gates. I noticed that the usual twinkle in his eyes was missing, but I chose to ignore it and chattered on about how much I was dreading going back to University, especially with four deadlines approaching for assignments I'd barely started writing.

"You always seem to find a way to cope with things," Daisuke stated softly as he raised a cigarette up to his lips, "I wouldn't worry."

An awkward chill edged through my body; it felt like somehow his words had a double meaning.

Throughout that walk, paranoia plagued my mind, like a heavy weight on a paper boat. My limbs were shaking as we set foot into my mum's apartment. I couldn't even relax when one of Daisuke's hand glided between my legs, and the other rested against my hip. I felt my muscles tense up as he stared deeply into my eyes, seemingly searching for some sort of answer as he tried to pull me up against him…

"Lets eat first," I suggested, planting a quick kiss on his forehead after removing his hand from my groin. I told him to relax on the couch whilst I scurried into the kitchen to try and practice the basic culinary skills, which I had developed at Uni. I mentally scolded myself; I was meant to be reassuring Daisuke that he had nothing to worry about, but now I had only given him more of a reason to start questioning my volatile behaviour.

"You've been distant recently," Daisuke announced in a matter-of-fact tone. I jumped, unaware that he had appeared in the doorway, and so I almost sliced off the tip of one of my fingers with the knife I was using to peel the potatoes for our dinner (I was making nikujaga, Daisuke's favourite).

"Not intentionally…" The response danced awkwardly out of my mouth. "You know I've been busy with Uni work, and I've been getting reacquainted with my sister."

I _had _been catching up with Hikari quite a bit since our first meeting, however, my voice sounded shaky, far from the confident tone I would have preferred. I was aware that by not questioning what he meant about me being distant, and using a rather lame excuse as well, I had unwittingly stepped into a lethal trap.

I peered over my shoulder, but the weary grin on my face automatically faded when I saw the dead serious expression stricken across Daisuke's face.

"No, things haven't been right since you came back from visiting Yamato."

He suspected what had truthfully occurred whilst I was with Yamato. I was convinced someone had planted a seed of suspicion into Daisuke's head whilst I'd been away, and now I was more than certain that this person had encouraged the seed to take root and spout.

"It isn't just Hikari you've been getting reacquainted with. It's Yamato too."

I didn't respond.

"You fucked him," Daisuke whispered, each word as equally cold and jagged as the last, "didn't you?"

The guilt-ridden expression on my face would have made any attempt of lying my way out futile. This was it, the moment I had been dreading. The dull thud which was made as I dropped the potato onto the chopping board resounded throughout the kitchen, followed by the clattering of the knife hitting against the work surface. I bit down on the inside of my cheek before I shuffled round to face him.

"I'm sorry, Dai..."

I trailed off as Daisuke stormed up to me. I barely had the time to react before his palm collided loudly against my cheek, forcing a yelp to escape out from my tightening throat. In instinct my hand balled up into a sturdy fist, but I immediately stopped myself from throwing it at him when I saw the tears building up in the corners of his reddened eyes.

"First Ken, now you..." his voice cracked. He spun away from me. "Fuck! I'm such an idiot."

"I'm sorry," I hopelessly repeated as I stepped away from the kitchen work surface, abandoning our food as I followed Daisuke into the living room.

"'_I'm sorry' _doesn't cut it," Daisuke hissed with venom, without even turning to face me. Despite I couldn't see him, I was able to hear the tears in his voice. Part of me desperately wanted to stroll over to his side and pull him into my arms, but I knew he wouldn't want that. I had overstepped the mark, and quite honestly I deserved to experience the excruciating torture of watching Daisuke fall apart before my very eyes.

"I let this happen." Daisuke lowered his head and pressed a hand against his brow. "I _trusted_ you."

Trust; a powerful word that was often thrown around carelessly without a second thought, and only ever really meant something if someone broke it.

"How many times?" Daisuke growled. My heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

His head jolted back up.

"How many times did you fuck him?" He made sure to place plenty of emphasis on that 'f' word, making it sound like a dirty and forbidden act.

"I... I don't know.." I stammered in my state of unease whilst he monitored me closely, his eyes scanning every small involuntary movement my body made. To be honest, he could have extracted any answer from me just by looking into my emotion-stricken eyes.

"More than once?"

I hesitated to answer, my mouth hung open like a gormless fish, before I sealed it shut and pretended to advert my gaze. That was all the proof he needed to learn that my affair with Yamato hadn't been a genuine mistake; something he could have possibly tried to forgive and forget.

"Shit…" Daisuke muttered, he craned his head down once again as he rubbed his fingers firmly against his temples. "Is he _better _than me?"

"Fucking hell, Dai," I groaned, my hand brushed away the strands of hair stuck to my sweaty brow. He was the torturing the both of us by asking such things. The answers were never going to be pretty, nor would they help make sense of the situation. I didn't know what would at the time, but the last thing I wanted was for Daisuke to believe Yamato was a better lover.

The silence lasted for longer than I anticipated. In that time I racked my brains for the perfect thing to say, to make Daisuke aware that he was the only one for me and that I would always go that extra mile just to see him smile. Yet the words never came; instead they remained lodged in the recess of my mind whilst the truth that surrounded them seemed to dissipate during each passing second.

"Have the past two years been a lie?" Daisuke wrapped his quivering arms around his chest, as silent tears continued to fall down his define cheekbones. He looked so vulnerable in that stance, like a child being disciplined for an act of mischief they hadn't committed.

"Of course not!" I took two brave strides towards him and reached out, offering him my hand. "Dai, I love you."

Daisuke grimaced as he effortlessly stepped back, away from my stretched out arm. "Obviously not enough."

As the ache of rejection settled on top of my guilt, Daisuke sniffed back his tears and briefly looked over at his backpack resting on the middle of the sofa.

"Wouldn't you do the same with Ken?" I suddenly blurted out without intending to; the thought had only entered my mind a few seconds ago. Things could have potential turned out a lot different if I had never spoken it out loud.

"What? What sort of question is that?" Daisuke snarled in repulsion, his lips pulled back so his gritted teeth were on display. I had no idea why I'd conjured up such a question either when I was the asshole who had cheated. It seemed I was just spouting bullshit as some sort of defence mechanism. Of course Daisuke wouldn't have done the same to me with Ken, he didn't have the heart to betray the people he adored more than just about anything else.

"Don't you ever feel raw about losing him to someone else?" Perhaps it was another royally dumb thing for me to ask, yet, as I expected, this question had more of an impact.

Daisuke stopped scowling but continued to stare at me. I recognised the flicker of pain in his eyes as he replayed the scene back in his mind when he had caught Miyako and Ken kissing at Tomachi subway station two years ago. Since I had experienced a similar form of heartbreak, I knew all too well how shit it was to feel second best. I couldn't grasp how I had managed to put him through the same agony once again.

Wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, Daisuke nodded.

"I did feel raw," he responded curtly, snatching his backpack from the sofa. He then stared directly at me, "But then I _thought _I found someone better."

Yeah, those words stung, but no more than it did when he shoved past me - his elbow digging firmly into my ribs- and headed for the front door.

"I really hope the sex with Yamato was worth it!" He added a pretty harsh English swear word on the end of that sentence, which we had heard a few times in a handful of 18 rated British films (It goes something along the lines of 'See you next Tuesday' if you must know).

After shoving his shoes on, Daisuke reached for the door handle without a moment's hesitation.

"Dai…"

As quickly as he opened it, Daisuke shut the door in my face. I stood staring blankly at the door for just a few seconds before I quickly tore it open and stumbled out into the walkway, just in time to see Daisuke disappearing down the stairwell.

The bubble in my stomach expanding to point where I felt like I was going to burst. I calmly backed into the apartment and shut the door, then lost all control of my body, landing heavily onto my knees. An inhuman cry seeped out from my trembling lips and the tears that were tickling my eyes flowed down my cheeks in torrents. I buried my face into my hands, my breathing heavy and erratic, and my mind laden with raw angst. Fuck, it hurt so much seeing him like that, as did realising I'd probably lost him for good.

When I finally rose to my feet I no longer felt like myself. My mind was cloudy as I walked in a zombie-like fashion dragging my feet along the floor as I headed back into the kitchen, but not to clear up the dinner that was never eaten that night.

My eyes scanned the cabinets floating above the work surfaces. I reached out and tugged the middle one open, unveiling my mum's 'not so' secret stash; a couple bottles of vodka, rum and a few other spirits. She was staying over at Hiroshi's apartment, where she was practically spending all her non-working time by that point, so I knew she wouldn't miss something being stolen from her alcohol collection.

I quickly grabbed the nearest bottle, which happened to be the vodka. God I hated the stuff, but I knew it'd get me ruined quicker than beer. I twisted the cap violently, blistering my hand as I forced the lid off, before I slung it across the room. Screw using a glass, my thoughts screamed. I tilted my head back, pressed the finish of the bottle against my lips, and gulped down two huge mouthfuls of the potent liquid, wincing before spluttering as it burnt the back of my throat. Wiping the stray streaks of vodka away from my lips, I then took another two mouthfuls, not caring that I was acting so irrationally.

At a time like this, only alcohol was going to be my saviour.

* * *

I came around to the sound of my phone vibrating harshly against the bathroom floor. My arms were folded and resting against the toilet seat, protectively cradling my pounding head. Strangely enough, I was somewhat comfortable in that position, like an animal curled up on the foot of a bed.

When I finally summoned the strength to lift my head, the first thing I smelt was vomit followed by the acrid aroma of burnt toast. I pushed my body away from the toilet, and using my arms to support me, I shuffled backwards across the floor. I stopped moving the instant my hand landed onto something gritty and rather sticky. The questionable mess turned out to be a neglected piece of jam on incinerated toast. Yummy. Thank goodness there was no bite marks in it.

I flinched in disgust as I peeled my palm away, the congealing residue of jam stubbornly clung onto my skin. The memories of how that blackened piece of toast had ended up in the bathroom were very hazy. In fact, all I had were flashbacks of the argument with Daisuke followed by me chugging back mouthful and mouthful of vodka tumbled through my throbbing skull.

As the sickness hit me, I hurriedly crawled back over to the toilet, my stomach convulsing violently as a mouthful of bile forced it's way up my oesophagus. Perhaps I should have eaten some of that sordid toast, I reflected, at least I would have had something to throw up.

When the last of my stomach acids had dribbled less than attractively into the toilet, a groan escaped from my dry lips. Plenty of water and rest were definitely on the cards today, although I assumed I'd be getting none of the latter, especially when the news would spread about what I had done to Daisuke. No doubt he would of told someone from our group of friends by now, and gossip did spread quickly between us all.

The brutal buzzing of my phone vibrating against the white lino floor made me jump out of my skin. Swallowing back the remaining moisture lingering in my throat I knelt down and grabbed the object, answering without bothering to check the caller ID. Whoever it was I planned to fob them off, _unless_ it was Daisuke...

"Hello?" As intended my tone was resentful, but the croakiness that surrounded my voice was rather unexpected.

"Tai? Thank God." the voice which greeted me was deep and breathy, like they had just run up several flights of stairs.

"Who's this?" My pounding heart eased it's way into my throat; I already knew the answer to my own question.

"It's Yamato." There was a long pause, but it wasn't long enough to let anything settle into my clouded head. "I'm outside, can you let me in?"

* * *

D-Angel: _-Dramatic music- _Ohhh dear, such timing our Yamato has. I leave you all hanging here for the time being I'm afraid. What did you guys think of Daisuke's reaction? I didn't want him going insane and on a rampage, but I also didn't want him crying like a sissy. Hoping I struck a decent enough balance. I'll obviously be touching more on their break up later on.

I didn't want to emphasis too heavily on the guilt Tai felt for shagging Yama behind Daisuke's back either, because I think I've already established that during the past couple of chapters. Let me also add, Tai's yet to have his outburst… Hehe.

The next chapter is all planned out, but I'm definitely planning to focus on a couple of my other stories over the next month or so as well. I won't make you guys wait around too long for the next chapter though, what with the cliff hanger and all!

Taichi: Evil, evil, evil girl.

D-Angel: Well, yeah… That's me, hence the pen name.

Yamato: Heh

D-Angel: Anyways, you two, climb onto that bed over there and give us all a show ;)

Yamato and Taichi: Err, nah…

D-Angel: _-sad face- _Fine. Well, that's all for now. Review if you wish, tis nice hearing from you guys. Let me know how you're all doing, and if you have any suggestions for le story.

See you all next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel

24/05/11


	10. Chapter 10

_**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

* * *

D-Angel:I tried not to make you wait too long for this chapter, especially after the cliffhanger and all. To make up for the teasing, this one's quite a long one, basically 3,700 words. It should be necessary... Erm, not sure what else to say about it really, I guess I'm slightly fearful it's a bit 'meh'? Ah well, read on and relish the overload of angst I suppose!

Much love to the fans btw! :)

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst (lots of it), strong language, nudity!

* * *

Chapter 10

* * *

"You're what?"

"I'm outside."

Outside… How had Yamato ended up there? He was meant to be in Itami, with his Father.

"Why?" I continued to question. Using my trusty toilet seat, I managed to stand up. My headache hit me full on, almost causing me to fall back down. I never understood why, when hungover, the bathroom lights seemed even more powerful from an upright position…

"Err, don't you remember phoning me about eight times last night?" There was just as much bemusement in his voice then there had been in mine after I had initially answered his call.

"Oh fuck," I groaned, flashes of repressed memories started to trickle back into my mind, one feeble drop at a time. I _had _drunk dialled Yamato. "Shit, no, fuck off. You can't be here, not now."

"I don't care, just let me in,"

No, I couldn't handle him, not right now. I hung up and accidentally dropped my phone onto the floor (fortunately it didn't break). What the hell had happened last night? I was desperate to know as -after I had used the toilet- I stumbled towards the sink, ignoring my reflection in the mirror above it, and started to fill it up with cold water.

Only small snippets of crying down the phone to Yamato flashed through my head, the rest of the memories were so blurred I knew that I'd have to sober up before I could make sense of them.

Once the sink was full, I took a deep breath and dunked my head into the water. It was icy cold compared to my burning hot skin and it quickly soothed my throbbing headache. There was something serene about being underwater; all interference from the rest of the world seemed to ease away, as if I was trapped in my own little private bubble of tranquillity. If it wasn't for the whole lack of oxygen thing, I would have loved to stay there forever.

When my lungs finally started to burn, warning me that I needed an intake of air, a hand firmly gripped my arm and my body jerked forwards. I abruptly lifted my head from the water before the person had a chance to pull me up themselves. As I tugged my arm away from my intruder, I was unable to mask my shock when I saw Yamato's piercing eyes staring back at me.

"Fuck! How did you get in?" My voice was unnecessarily loud and fretful. I was now shaking violently with my arms folded tightly against my chest. He was wearing the glasses we used for driving and his eyes looked tired.

"Spare key in the plant pot," Yamato said, seemingly surprised that I hadn't guessed beforehand.

"Get out," I growled, firmly pushing my hand against his shoulder, forcing Yamato away from me. At the same time, thanks to my still partly drunken state, I lost my balance and fell towards him, straight into his waiting arms.

"I'm not leaving whilst you're in this state," Yamato affirmed, hugging me so tightly I could only just about breathe.

"I'm fine," I hissed, although I lacked the strength to shove him away from me again.

"Baka, I saw the vodka in the living room."

My face burnt in shame. No doubt he could smell the vomit on me, and the traces of alcohol still lingering on my breath. It was probably wrong of me, but I had just wanted to drink, to temporarily erase the burning pain tearing through my chest, as well as the regretful thoughts that wouldn't stop pounding against my skull.

Several moments later, Yamato instructed me to sit down before he disappeared out the room. I massaged my fingers against my aching temples and bit down on my lower lip until he returned. Kneeling down beside me, he pressed two rounded white tablets into the palm of my hand.

Vaguely analysing them I knew they were only painkillers, but at that stage I wouldn't have cared if they were ecstasy. I hastily gulped them down with the glass of water Yamato handed to me before I placed the empty glass down and rolled onto my side, pulling my legs up against my chest.

As Yamato crouched down over the bathtub and turned on the taps, I stayed curled up on the floor pathetically, listening to the therapeutic gushing sound of the water filling up the bath. I didn't even care when he forced me to my feet, proceeding to strip me out of my vomit covered clothing and guided me towards the bath.

Momentarily, I was at ease as Yamato helped me sink down into the lukewarm bubbly bath water. The painkillers had already started to kick in; the pain from my throbbing temples was beginning to subside. My eyes were about to close, until Yamato started to tug off his clothes. As soon as he was naked, he stepped into the tub and slid down beside me.

The water sloshed up against the sides as he reached out and embraced me with his arms. The trembling in my muscles gradually eased, and the feeling of resentment was replaced by a shameful sensation of relaxation as I melted against his soft body.

We spent the next half an hour in a surreal silence. I'd broken Daisuke's heart, and now I was toying with the catalyst that had triggered my betrayal. Whilst Yamato's fingers traced against my backbone, I cringed as I recalled screeching to Yamato down the phone last night, blaming him for everything. I was now grateful he spared me the pain of having talk about Daisuke and what I planned to do because I had no idea myself.

* * *

I woke up to Yamato's lips grazing against my forehead as the cool water around us slowly drained away. As I tilted my head to the side I realised that my headache was almost gone; however, the stabbing guilt and nausea in the pit of my stomach was still there.

Once we were out the bath, Yamato grabbed a towel from the radiator and proceeded to dry me from head to toe. I usually disliked being fussed over, especially in such a childlike fashion, but with Yamato it reminded me so much of the old days, for all the right reasons.

As he dried himself, I tied my own towel tightly around my waist, praying I wouldn't end up having a 'Yamato towel malfunction' as I headed for the sink.

"Where's your mum?" Yamato asked.

"At her man's place, where else?" I spoke honestly, knowing he could empathise with my parent related predicament. He half-smiled and nodded in acknowledgment before he started tugging on his clothes.

Once he was fully dressed, Yamato left the room whilst I brushed my teeth, desperate to get rid of the lingering taste of my stomach acids. I think he may have mentioned something about food, but for once I lacked an appetite.

As I edged away from the sink, my foot nudged against my phone. I uneasily stared down at the object like it was some kind of venomous spider. No doubt word would have spread about me and Yamato by now. I gradually bent down, fearing my towel would slip (although no one was around to see anything), and scooped my lifeline off from the floor.

As I checked my phone, what surprised me was the lack of missed calls, or angry texts. It had been way over twelve hours now after Daisuke had found out; had he really not told anyone yet? He wasn't exactly knowing for keeping his emotions and thoughts locked away from others, unless…

I started to flick through my outgoing calls history.

"Shit."

I _had_ phoned Daisuke numerous times last night, between making several calls to Yamato. Daisuke had only answered one of those calls and we had spoken for five minutes. I groaned and slapped a hand against the side of my face, willing myself to remember the conversation. I dreaded the state I must have been in, but not as much as not knowing the things I had said.

Glancing at my phone again, I noticed that Yamato had answered every single one of my calls, apart from the last three I had made- obviously when he must have been driving to Odaiba, solely to see me.

"Why did you come?" I asked this question as I stepped into the kitchen, surprised to see Yamato was clearing up a mess I wasn't aware existed. A few chunks of potato were scattered across the floor, alongside most of the other bits of food I had planned to prepare. Typically, Yamato ignored me as he swept up the soiled remains into my Mum's dark green dustpan and brush.

"Yama, why did you..."

"...I'd never heard you sound so distraught before," Yamato looked up and abruptly interrupted me in a deep lyrical voice; even the usual calm blue flames of his eyes were flickering wildly with emotion, "I was worried you'd do something stupid."

Narrowing my eyes as Yamato turned his focus back to the floor and continued to clean up the food off from it.

"What did I say to you? On the phone I mean," I couldn't help but continue to press, eager for some answers, or any clues which would jerk my memory. Obviously I had said something that had concerned him enough to drive all the way down here and check up on me in the early hours of the morning.

"You said a lot of things, mostly incoherent." Yamato spoke without even glancing up at me.

I grit my teeth together out of frustration- if only I could have remembered everything I'd said. Yamato wasn't exactly helping with his dodging around the subject bullshit.

"Eugh, Just tell me, it's killing me! I have to know," my voice cracked as I reached the end of my sentence. I was practically ready to squeeze the truth out of him if I had to. My face was burning with anger and my body was shaking so violently I was convinced I was about to explode.

What irritated the most was the expression on his face- so calm and collective. The only trace of emotion lingered in his eyes.

"Seeing you like this is killing _me..._" Yamato paused, then his mouth made small movements but no sound came out, like a ventriloquist act gone wrong. Carefully he stood up, balancing the brush on the fully loaded dustpan. "Chi, it's probably best you try and remember for yourself what was said last night."

The last part he said definitely wasn't something I wanted to hear.

I swallowed a painful lump back into the depths of my throat. Hurrying towards Yamato, I aggressively slapped the dustpan and brush out of his hand, placed my arm round the back of his neck and pressed my lips against his. I didn't intend to kiss him at all. I had planned on punching him, so I guess my actions shocked myself as much as they shocked him.

It took Yamato a good few seconds for him to react, but by stomach swirled in delight when he started to kiss me back, hungrily; his hands caressing my back, gradually falling lower and lower. Damn it. He'd been patiently waiting for me to make the first move, knowing all to well how flimsy the line between rage and passion was for me.

As we pulled apart- after what seemed like several minutes later- I noticed the wicked glint in Yamato's eyes. He undid my towel in one swift second, using his thumb and index finger. I breathed out in exhilaration when it hit the floor. Why the fuck was I giving him an excuse to do this? He was the reason why Daisuke would struggle to trust me ever again...

Somehow we ended up in the bedroom, as opposed to just screwing in the kitchen or on the living room sofa. I never thought I'd ever have sex with Yamato in that dinky bed again, but moments later it was very much real and happening. To be honest, it was over in a matter of minutes due to the thrill of pretending we were teenagers again.

As I reached across to my bedside table for my cigarettes, I felt no need to wallow in the guilt; by then I was used to doing things I would later regret.

"I didn't come here to sleep with you, in case that's what you're thinking." Yamato didn't even bother covering his body with the covers, which I believed was a deliberate attempt of his to turn me on once again. Damn his nipple piercing and lack of hair down there...

"I couldn't care less if that was or wasn't your intention," I coldly mumbled, holding my cigarette up to my lips, "it's hardly going to change anything that's happened."

Oh how I wished it would, but things were just too complicated.

"You should probably talk things out with Daisuke," Yamato advised, the lack of compassion in his voice causing me to sneer almost out of reflex.

"And what? Tell him that I've fucked you again?"

Another uneasy silence, great. I'd asked for it though. I peeped over at him and noticed that his lustful eyes were fixed on my fag; he obviously wanted a smoke, but I wasn't going to give him one.

"Taichi!" An angry female voice bellowed from the near distance. I instantly recognised Sora's mother-like tone and almost choked on the mouthful of smoke I'd just inhaled. As Sora banged loudly on the front door, I quickly jumped out of my bed, almost tripping over the covers which had twisted around my legs.

"Shit! Stay here," I instructed Yamato, handing him my cigarette before I hurriedly pulled my drawers and cupboard open and wiggled into whatever suitable clothes I could grab. I saw him take a couple of desperate drags from that cigarette before I stumbled out my room.

Finally, the fearful act was happening, where I, the cheat, would get ridiculed by the mutual friends Daisuke and I somehow shared. Of course it would start with Sora; she was almost everyone's first port of call when things got problematic.

Deciding that it'd be best to get the worst part over and done with, I flung open the front door without an instance of hesitation.

Sora was stood with her hand was raised, readying to hammer against the door once again. Momentarily she looked dazed; her eyes were wide and lips were slightly parted, like the cliché deer or rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming car; but it didn't take her too long to snap out of that trance.

"How could you!" Sora growled. With the arm that was already partly in the air, she swung it back and struck me hard across the face with the palm of her hand. I groaned as the stinging sensation burst through my cheek and immediately pressed my hand against the reddening area of skin. Although it stung like crazy, I knew I deserved a lot worse.

Within the first few minutes, I learnt from Sora that Daisuke had turned up at her apartment a couple of hours ago, eyes bloodshot and trembling like wildfire.

"I've never seen Daisuke in such a state before," Sora said firmly when we stood face to face in the living room. My stomach flipped when the unmistakable creaking sound of my rusty bed springs danced over the awkward atmosphere. To my dismay, Sora's eyes quickly locked onto my bedroom door.

"Who's in there?"

Part of me wanted to lie and say it was Daisuke, but obviously there'd be no way in hell she'd believe that.

"Who's in where?" I feebly attempted to delay the inevitable. However, knowing all to well she wasn't going to get an answer, or at least a truthful one, Sora marched straight past me. I was desperate to reach out and stop her but realised such an action would only multiple my guilt, as well as her disappointment.

Unfortunately, Sora pushed open the door, just in time to see Yamato standing stark naked in the middle of the bedroom.

"Oh for God's sake," she hissed as she quickly spun around and muttered for him to put some clothes on; her cheeks were now an interesting shade of rosy red.

"It's not what it looks like!" I quickly exclaimed, before feeling completely ridiculous as Sora stared at me in disbelief. "Ok, it _is_ what it looks like, but..."

"...Unbelievable, you have the guts to invite Yamato here, after shattering Dai's heart?"

"Sora, I didn't..."

"...Tai didn't invite me," Yamato's voice overlapped mine, announcing the truth as he hurried out from the bedroom now dressed in his jeans and one of my t-shirts. Sora's eyes instantly darted over towards him. "I came here on my own accord."

"Oh, so that makes the situation a _whole _lot better does it?" Sora growled sarcastically before she glared back over in my direction. She was starting to calm down; her posture was a lot more lax than before. I knew initially she wanted to scream at Yamato and call him selfish, but no doubt she was now aware he had travelled all the way here to check up on me.

I held back my anxiety as Sora instructed me and Yamato to sit down on the sofa.

"Tai, the slap was on behalf of Dai," Sora clarified as she sat between us. "I'm not sure if he already gave you one, but I sure as hell would have."

I sighed, rubbing a hand against the hand-print welt Sora had surely left on my cheek.

"He spent last night at Ken's, Tai," Sora revealed a clear inflection of disapproval surrounded her tone. At hearing those words my chest immediately tightened and the fingers on my right hand dug firmly into the arm of the sofa.

"Shit, he didn't; _they _didn't? Did they?" My voice was strained and panicked. I felt sickened at the very thought of Daisuke rolling around in bed with another guy, especially Ken. How hypocritical of me...

"Whilst Miyako was sleeping," Sora tapped her fingernails against her skinny jeans. "Regardless, I'm straying away from the main issue here. It's plain and simple; you cheated on him and he found out. Now, you know all too well that you can't have them both, so a decision has to be made."

"Decision?" I echoed; I hadn't even had to the time to think about it. Perhaps that was where I'd gone wrong... Too busy living in the moment to worry about the consequences.

"Clearly you've already made one." Sora was daring to test the waters. She had a fantastic technique of extracting the reactions she desired from pretty much anyone; it was such a great ability I had not even been aware of it back in those days.

"No I haven't," I argued. I was sorta being honest, but my mind still felt heavy and jumbled, similar to the trunk full of broken, pointless trinkets my mum kept underneath her bed. At least those could be discarded and eventually forgotten about.

"I think you have. From how Dai told it, you didn't even convince him to stay."

I didn't want to believe that, but a niggling sensation in the pit of my stomach informed me otherwise of the truth. I'd told Daisuke that I loved him, but had that in itself been enough to reassure him? No, I decided, it hadn't. Words were meaningless without the actions to match them.

"At least have the decency to give him some sort of an excuse," Sora urged, "it's the least you owe him."

That was something I could agree with; I did indeed owe it to him. I'd acted rather pathetically after he had confronted me and I couldn't help but regret it. Then there were the phone calls I still couldn't recollect; maybe Dai would have the answers?

"Ok, where is he?" I started to climb to my feet. However, Sora only grabbed onto my arm and pulled me back down onto the sofa. A frown fell across my face.

"It's best you don't contact Dai or the others for the time being; they aren't too pleased with you. You as well , Yama."

Yamato, who'd been sitting in deadly silence, instantly turned his head to the side.

"Who else knows?" He asked in a stone-cold voice, his eyes stubbornly fixed on Sora who was somewhat taken back by the harsh delivery of his question.

"M-Mimi and Koushiro."

I was expecting to hear those two names. Sora and Mimi gossiped like a majority of girls I knew, and since Mimi was _very _close to Koushiro (although at that stage, they still claimed they weren't dating!), it was only natural for him to find out through her.

"Timmy as well." Sora announced after a few seconds of hesitation. Yamato bit down on his lip and ran his fingers through his messy hair as he moved his gaze to the floor. His shame-faced reaction wasn't a surprise. Timmy was once the keyboard slash rhythm guitar player in his old band (The Teenage Wolves) who he had bonded well with. Sora had been dating the guy for just over three years now, so it was only natural for her to tell him.

"And obviously Ken knows, and Yolei has probably found out by now," Sora added quickly.

"So basically everyone knows, except Jyou?" I grumbled, placing one hand against my forehead. Sora exhaled deeply. As she stood up she momentarily squeezed my shoulder, before turning her attention back towards Yamato.

"I need a word alone with you," Sora added sternly, like a teacher who was about to tell a student off.

Yamato arched an eyebrow in a quizzical manner.

"What about?"

"I think you know." There was an ominous edge to Sora's tone, one that made me feel uneasy. Obviously their private conversation involved me, and a truth that was less than willing to be spilt.

It would hurt a lot more than I anticipated.

* * *

D-Angel: So yeah, I pray that wasn't too bad. Didn't want to give you all information overload, but wanted to establish the damage that's been caused because of Tai/Yama acting like horny rabbits on Viagra. Do not fear, you'll learn all about the enigmatic phone calls which Tai has 'conveniently' forgotten about, and more drama will certainly ensue.

Tai: Great, thanks... As if there isn't enough already!

D-Angel: Hush you! Else I'll pair you up with a Digimon and write some dodgy furry fic :P

Tai: Oh God no!

Yama: _-Comforts Tai with hugs-_

D-Angel:  _-Videos the hawt action- _

Yama:  -_Slowly edges out the room with Tai-_

D-Angel: Oh, I see how it is... Fine, no dinner for you two! _-Clears throat- _ Anyways, I hope to do a mini time lapse in the next chapter (or possibly the one after that); maybe only by a few months? I'll have a think about it :) As always, suggestions and your feedback is very much welcome! Be honest, and criticise constructively if needs be (helps me out muchly).

Thanks for the reviews and comments so far, you guys are so fricking lovely! I'll be updating Cup of Lust again next since the next chapter is going to be an enjoyable to write; I'd best start up on it I guess, may have it out at the end of July. Bed Full of Mems is likely to get its next update in August, so I hope you all can wait until then.

That's about it, take care, and I'll see you next chapter (as always!)

* * *

D-Angel

07/07/11

22 days until I am 21... for the third year running ;)


	11. Chapter 11

_**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel:Hey you wonderful lot! Sorry I haven't updated anything in almost three months, life's been busy and there's been a few changes etc so I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and focus on my fanfiction. I should be able to get back into the swing of things, although I can't guarantee proceeding updates will be regular to start of with. This chapter is slightly shorter than my usual, I just felt the need to get something out and I didn't want it to be too heavy considering the gap since my last update.

Thanks for your patience. Read on and enjoy! :)

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst, strong language

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

Extending my arms out in front of me I refused to close my eyes as another strong gust of wind hit me face on. Regaining my position of power I shuffled my feet forward on the raised concrete ledge I was stood upon and peered down once more. From the fifth floor, or the roof as it was more than often known as, everything looked ridiculously small, delicate and somewhat insignificant. It captured my inner feelings beautifully.

Jumping was not an option; I knew I didn't want to go out as a cliché or another under 25 suicide statistic. Standing up there, toying dangerously with my life just gave me the control I felt was slowly slipping away. Call it a test of courage, or just pure stupidity; either way, one unlucky slip and I would have fallen and become a pile of goo on the concrete below.

"Get down," an austere voice commanded. A troubled groan seeped from my throat. Ken; I knew it was only a matter of time before he would decide to come visit me. There was only one day left before I returned to Chiba. That boy sure loved to leave his decisions down to the last minute.

Slowly, without turning around, I stepped back away from the ledge but without intending to step down from it. Maintaining a calm expression I rotated my body round to analyse the agitated teenager standing closer to me than I first imagined. His eyes were narrowed and there was a scowl playing upon his lips. He disliked it when no one listened to him.

"I quite like it up here," I explained simply, teasing his paranoia by leaning backwards ever so slightly. Panic ebbed across his face and he quickly grabbed me by the arm pulling me off from the ledge. As I snatched my arm away from his grip, I fought back my frown.

"Don't be an idiot," Ken hissed, defensively folding an arm across his chest.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I said as I perched on the edge of the ledge and reached for my trusty box of cigarettes. "So, why are you here?"

Ken dipped his free-hanging hand into his pocket.

"It's slightly ironic," Ken admitted as he pulled a miniature 'Golden Gun' shaped object out from his pocket, "but I'm actually here to thank you."

My stomach immediately churned as he placed the item next to my cigarette box. Daisuke had enjoyed watching James Bond films almost as much as I did. The lighter was a gift I had given him for his sixteenth birthday, imported from America. Now that Ken was returning this sentimental present on Daisuke's behalf, it finally sunk in that everything had been finalised. There was no going back.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. Everything always seemed to turn out perfect for Ken, no matter what the situation was. The truth was Ken didn't deserve Daisuke. Our friends were furious at him for leaving Miyako (two or three days after I had split up with Daisuke), although their split was inevitable after she had caught him and Daisuke at it on the sofa. Sadly, the gang were still more annoyed towards me for cheating on Daisuke; particularly after they also learnt how Daisuke had found out.

The memories of my drunken phone calls had gradually returned over the course of a couple of days. According to the events in my mind I'd tried calling Daisuke first a couple of times, then, after he didn't answer I was so desperate to vent my despair I phoned Yamato.

I revealed the entire situation to him the moment he answered. I misread the awkward pause of silence as him allowing the information to sink in. Focusing only on his sharp and shallow breathing, it sounded as if someone had completely spooked him out. I couldn't stand such quietness, especially over the phone.

"I-I don't know what to do! What if Daisuke hurts himself, or does something reckless?" I continued my panicked rant, unable myself to even comprehend the words and sentences that were tumbling out from my numb lips.

"Calm down, Chi!" Yamato eventually interrupted, his tone more alarmed than irritated, "you're blowing everything out of proportion, you just need..."

"N-no, no, you don't understand! This is serious," I slurred.

"I know it is, but all you can do is..."

Apparently I ended the phone call, tried calling Daisuke again, then rang Yamato back. I managed to do this three or four times before Yamato finally grew tired of my persistent drunken attitude.

"Look, just leave him a voice mail and then go get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow and..."

I cut him off again and immediately rang Daisuke. My hands were shaking as I chugged back another mouthful of vodka, coughing violently as the horrendous liquid splashed against the back of throat.

There was no answer after several rings, so I hung up and called him once more. Again and again I redialled his number, each time, after excessively ringing, it clicked through to his voice mail.

"_Hey, it's Dai! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message and I'll call you back real soon!"_

The final time I rang his number the phone slipped out of my hand. I clumsily knelt down to scoop it up (spilling some vodka in the process) and pressed it against my ear.

"Dai," I mechanically sighed, readying myself to finally leave him a message.

"Stop calling me!" His furious voice responded. I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Come here, Dai, we can talk things through," I croaked somewhat incomprehensibly; but I knew Daisuke would understand me considering the amount of times he had tolerated my slurring whenever I had tried holding a conversation whilst being half-asleep. I braced myself him to chuckle sarcastically, but instead my sensitive ears were subjected to nothing but the faint sound of static for the next several seconds.

Sighing heavily, I prepared to start grovelling

"I know saying sorry isn't going to change what I did, but I am really, really, sorry for..."

"...I found out from Yamato." Daisuke unexpectedly blurted out. His words sounded like thunder penetrating a blissful utopia. "He text me whilst you were with him in Itami."

My trembling fingers almost lost their grip on my phone.

"What?"

"Yamato told me. He actually had the balls to tell me you'd slept together. I didn't believe him, thought he was trying to stir things up, but then he phoned me when you were ill. I asked him to be honest. 'I'm sorry, Daisuke, it just happened,' he said, 'we tried to fight it, but instincts just took over.' He was trying so hard not to cry... I knew he wasn't lying, but part of me still hoped he was."

As the room spun around me, I staggered across the room reaching out to the dining table, holding onto it for support. This had to be a joke, I thought, there was no way Yamato would have told Daisuke...

"When you got home I pretended I didn't know, hoped the guilt would eventually cause you to confess." Daisuke's tone grew cold and somewhat strained. "There were a couple of times where I thought you were gonna crack, but you did a pretty fantastic job of covering it up. You would have almost had me fooled if it wasn't for Yamato."

I heard Daisuke breathe in short and sharply, holding back a sob.

"If you'd told me that you'd slept with him I would have eventually forgiven you because I knew how much you loved him!" His voice broke as he reached the end of his sentence; he sniffed back his tears before he continued talking. "I just wanted to hear it from you. You know I can't stand Yamato, but fuck, I admire his guts for confessing what had happened. Why couldn't you do the same?"

It was a question not to be answered. I could have spouted all the crap I wanted about how I didn't want to hurt him and how I'd just wanted us to revert back to normality, but it still wouldn't have done me any favours. Daisuke clearly wasn't going to forgive me for betraying him in one of the worst ways possible.

"Lets meet up and talk." It was all I could suggest in my intoxicated state. I probably said a few more things too, irrelevant and self-pitying I assume.

"You've been drinking." Daisuke pointed out my slurred speech and repetitive sentences. "You probably won't even remember this conversation by tomorrow morning."

Funny how that was one of the things I remember him saying crystal clear after regaining the most important parts of my memories from that conversation.

"I'm fine. Dai, I love you, please come back," I whispered; although my words unintentionally came out static and sounded somewhat meaningless. It was a tiresome battle which I had regrettably lost from the start.

"No, Tai. It's too late," Daisuke muttered before disconnecting our call. I remember falling back onto the sofa, my vision still unstable from the vodka. A heavy sensation was weighing me down. It was a different feeling from before when Daisuke had slammed the door shut in my face. The sadness and those endless tears were now long gone and were replaced with anger, frustration and the worst feeling of all; confusion. In that instance I believed it was all Yamato's fault for texting Daisuke the truth, so that's why I lost control and took it all out on him when he answered the phone, and that's why he ended up coming to check up on me...

Now, after learning the truth, I wished I'd never had. At least Yamato's unease the day he came to my apartment finally made sense, much like the last missing piece of a complicated jigsaw puzzle. Afraid he'd hurt me, he hadn't been brave enough to be honest with me, so he left me to figure everything out by myself.

I thought back to when Sora and Yamato had left the apartment after our three-way chat so they could talk in private. Yamato didn't even look back as he muttered a flimsy farewell. Neither of them returned that evening, and the following day I learnt that Yamato had gone back to Itami. I hadn't heard from him since.

"Daisuke wanted to come here by himself, but he's still not in a right enough state. I couldn't allow it," Ken's voice automatically drifted me back to reality. A flush of anger ran through my veins. He 'couldn't allow it?' I detested how Ken had suddenly taken charge of Daisuke's freewill, especially after what he had done to him just over two years ago now.

"He's been such a mess, it's fortunate he..."

"...Ken, we're both in the same boat," I interrupted through my gritted teeth. "Can you at least stop with this bullshit heroic façade of yours? You broke Daisuke's heart too," I growled, moving my gaze away from the floor and back at Ken's serious expression. For a second his face faltered. But then, as I felt my own confidence drain away, a self-assured glimmer appeared in his eyes which he made sure I saw before he walked away from me.

"At least I addressed what I did wrong," Ken said bluntly before he tugged open the door. "Perhaps you could too."

He disappeared back down the stairwell. I bit down hard on my lower lip and placed my hand against the cold metal of Daisuke's lighter. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't detest Ken, or even Yamato, for telling the truth. It was something I'd been avoided for much too long.

* * *

D-Angel: So yeah, the core elements of the phone calls were explained, but I'm certain those bits and other elements will come back to haunt Tai and whoever else later on, mwahaha. I've started to plan out the next chapter already, may as well let you know that a time lapse is approaching, it just feels necessary. I'm not too sure how many chapters this story has left, but I'm hoping to have it all finished by next year (realistic deadline for me I hope!).

Thanks for taking the time to read up this story up until this point. Please Let me know if you saw any typos along the way! I'm certain there's a few in this chapter, and probably sentences that make no sense. Lol.

Oh and before I forget, **Caliboy**, I will endeavor this week to read your fics and leave some feedback! I haven't forgotten!

Right, I'll leave you all to muse over Ken's behaviour and the events that will follow... Hehe.

See you all next chapter! Mwah!

* * *

D-Angel

18/10/11


	12. Chapter 12

_**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

D-Angel: Everyone, thanks once again for being patient. This chapter will most certainly make up for the long wait, and it's a biggy as well ;) Well, it did take almost three months to complete... Anyways, instead of rambling, I'll allow you guys to get on so you can read through and hopefully enjoy.

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst and strong language, as usual.

* * *

Chapter 12

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Fidgeting on my bus seat, I pulled the tattered piece of card out from my pocket and ran my thumb across the indented gold letters printed across a blue background occupied by two turtle doves.

_'You are invited to celebrate the engagement of Sora Takenouchi and Timothy Kent'_

It was unbelievable how much things could change in just over a year. After graduating from Chiba University I had pursued my plans and had flown out to England to study a masters degree in Criminology and Law at Portsmouth University. I had deliberated whether or not to continue my studying overseas. England was a lovely country and although it was freezing cold a lot of the time compared to Japan, it also had its moments of sticky sunshine.

Despite the fun I had experienced, and the few friends I had made along the way, I somehow still felt lonely there at times.

The first year of the two had quickly come to an end, and so I was returning home for part of my lengthy three month summer break to congratulate Sora and Timmy on their engagement. I knew it meant that I would see some old faces as well.

My contact with the gang had practically disintegrated since I had broken Daisuke's heart. I had only really stayed in touch with Sora and Hikari (who the gang adored, despite I was, apparently, 'a dick'). The others hadn't been as considerate. Even Koushiro had been reluctant to stay in touch; his once lengthy and supportive texts and emails had eventually shrivelled up into blunt one or two sentences. I believed it was Mimi's influence; she was now officially dating him and still couldn't forgive me for my actions.

As the bus pulled up at my stop, I swallowed back my nerves and hopped onto my feet, swinging my back pack onto one shoulder and hoisting my suitcase up with my other arm. Allowing a woman and her child to push in front of me, I gazed out of one of the windows, relishing the sensation of familiarity. It was definitely what I needed.

I hurried to my apartment block as quickly as I could despite the unpleasant mixture of jet-lag and baggage. I climbed the dank and dreary few flights of stone steps (the lift was out of order, typically), fearful as always I would be confronted by a hooded teenager with a knife or baseball bat, despite it still being broad daylight.

Letting out a relived sigh when I reached the right apartment, alive and in one piece, I fumbled around in my backpack for several seconds for my key, which had somehow managed to slip under a couple of criminal law books.

When I'd opened the front door I stood there for just a single moment, breathing in the homely scent I had desperately missed. Leaving my bags in the lobby and pushed open the following door, and planned to march straight over to the sofa and collapse straight onto the ever so comfy inanimate object.

However, that wasn't to happen. I stopped in my tracks. My chest instantly tightened and my mouth went dry. Cardboard boxes were scattered across the entire living room and the usual photo frames and other ornaments I'd been used to were no longer there. I literally hurdled and limboed my way just to get to the centre of the room so I could soak in exactly what the hell was happening.

"What's all this?" I called out to the clanging and clattering coming from the kitchen; clearly my Mum was boxing up some of the utensils.

"I'm moving in with Hiroki," Mum revealed, emerging from the kitchen doorway wearing a pair of jogging bottoms and a bright red vest top. She then smiled and asked how I was, as if I had just returned from the corner shop, as opposed to England, and as if she hadn't just dropped a huge bombshell on me.

"Oh, nice of you to tell me!" The sarcasm couldn't be helped; despite having slept some of the journey home, I was still feeling exhausted.

"I probably could have told you before, if you'd made an effort to keep in contact with me whilst you were in England," Mum lectured as she studied my tired face and obvious overgrown hair.

"I was busy," I sighed as my Mum ducked back into the kitchen

"Well, I'm going to be _very _busy over the next few days."

"Anything I can help with? I have manly arms to lift things," I reminded her, peering down at the sea of boxes surrounding me.

"It's fine, Hiroki's on his way over."

My mum sure had a wonderful way of making me feel redundant. I figured I would still help out regardless, but that was until she added;

"You may be better off staying with your dad whilst you're back here; enjoy your time with everyone without having to worry about heaving boxes and heavy furniture around."

Enjoy? Already things were turning into a nightmare. As much as I liked my Dad, I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of living under the same roof as him for more than a week (at times he tried too hard to _be _a parent).

"Your stuffs still in your room, whatever you left here. I've left some empty boxes on your bed, so if you can get everything packed up by tomorrow evening that'd be great."

I wanted to ask where my stuff was going to be stored as I doubted there'd be space for it at Hiroki's. However, I already had a feeling that I would have to keep it all at my Dad's place until I was expected to find my own apartment after completing my degree.

"How was your flight by the way? Are you hungry? I have some leftover..."

"...Nah, I just wanna sleep," I spoke over my Mum, releasing a well-timed yawn as I darted back into the lobby to grab my bags. She had already missed her window to be all mumsy and caring (nothing new there really). It was funny; if she had swapped tips with my Dad, they would have actually been the most perfect parents in existence.

My heart sank as I shut my bedroom door behind me. Everything was just how I'd left it, besides the pile of cardboard boxes stacked on top of my awesomely comfy duvet. The same old film posters were slapped across the walls, but my floor was free from dirty clothes and the occasional random football.

Dropping my baggage down I rushed over to the bed and, in a sleep deprived rage, knocked and tossed every single box onto the floor and around the room.

"Fuck this," I grumbled, kicking a box away from my feet before I threw myself down onto my mattress and closed my eyes. I wasn't big on change, but at least I had the capability of adapting eventually. Everything did make sense; my Mum practically lived at Hiroki's place anyway, I suppose that's why she had now finally sold this apartment and was leaving a ton of treasured memories behind.

Rolling onto my side, I resisted the urge to bite down on my lip. I may have not been welcome to stay or live with my Mum and her man, but at least I had somewhere to go, even if it was my Dad's home.

When I awoke from my slumber the curtains on my balcony door were drawn, so the room was pitch black. Disorientated, my hand fumbled across to the lamp- resting on my beside table- and flicked it on. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed that there was a sandwich on a plate besides the lamp as well as a glass of orange juice which, when I took a sip, was lukewarm.

After devouring the sandwich (spicy chicken and mayonnaise), I wrapped the duvet around my body and slid down from the mattress and onto the floor. I couldn't understand why my hands were shaking as I reached underneath the bed, feeling around aimlessly until my fingers brushed up against something smooth and with small indented ridges across it's side. Perfect.

Pulling the plastic container out from its hiding place, I swallowed the spit in my mouth and willed myself to stop trembling. It was just a box.

_Not just any old box, _a soft voice in my head reminded me.

My fingernails drummed across the lid, it was now or never. A strange wave of nostalgia hit me as I flicked it open. Glancing down, the inside of the container was filled to the brim with photographs, video and cassette tapes (old school), and various gadgets and trinkets. Each object seemed to let off a warm glow. Closing my eyes, I started to concentrate.

A blink later, the room was filled with daylight and was far more vibrant than I remembered.

"What ya doing?" An innocent soft voice quizzed. Cautiously, I gazed over my shoulder and saw a much younger Yamato was gazing down at me inquisitively. I turned away sharply, trying to make sense of what was happening. The container in front of me was now empty. Was I dreaming? No, the sense of familiarity was too strong.

"It's a memory box," I announced as I placed the polaroid pictures- clutched in one of my small hands- into the container, "I'm creating a memory box."

Yamato's pale eyebrows furrowed inwards.

"Why?"

"In case I forget about us, and the fun times we've had. I don't want that to happen. Mum said when people get older they often forget things, and it makes sense; older people aren't as fun."

A light snigger fell from Yamato's angelic lips- I forgot how easily I used to make him laugh with my childish theories. He joined me on the floor and draped an arm across my shoulder. A warm sensation shot down my spine and my cheeks burnt bright red. I tilted my head to gaze over at him in admiration; his lips curled up into a small and his milky white teeth proudly on display before he spoke the words we had both stuck by over the upcoming years.

"Let's make some awesome memories then."

My eyes abruptly flickered open as I jolted back to reality. Shoving the box back under the bed with my hands (which were no longer chubby and small), I could feel a lump rising in my throat. Just over a decade had passed since that day and I realised there was so much I had let myself forget.

Tugging off my t-shirt and jeans, I managed to crawl back onto my bed and threw the duvet over myself before my head hit the pillow. I knew sleep would not come easy. Sora's engagement party was only in a weeks time and she had warned me that Yamato would be there. I tucked my knees up into my chest as a bitter truth finally engulfed me.

The good memories were always the most painful to keep hold off, and they were the most difficult to let go off.

* * *

"Have you spoken to Yamato yet?" Sora asked as I picked my way through the extravagant buffet, which I had already managed to have more than enough of my fill on.

"No, I haven't seen him." It was a lie; I'd been avoiding him like the plague.

Things had been crap the moment Sora's engagement party had kicked off. I had arrived fifteen minutes late with Hikari and already everyone had drifted into their own little groups, which they would probably stick around in for the rest of the evening. Probably just as well, considering I still wasn't the most popular of people amongst my circle of childhood friends.

"Is Daisuke here?" I enquired, my eyes flickering across the red carpeted room, scanning around for brown haired eighteen year old. Apparently he was my height now, another growth spurt had graced him over the past few months.

"I invited everyone," Sora explained, a hand resting on her hip, "but can you blame him if he doesn't turn up?"

"I guess not," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "He must still really hate me."

"No, he doesn't," Sora revealed, bluntly. "But, what hurt him the most was how you didn't even try to make an excuse, nor did you ever convince him you still wanted him. You could have stopped him from walking out, but you didn't."

Her words caused me to wince. It seemed like a century ago but the memory was still as fresh and raw as ever. I'd hoped to never put anyone through that kind of pain again, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.

"I regret what happened, but I can't change the past."

"I know, but the future's still in your control," Sora wisely reminded.

I was about to nod and agree, until my eyes honed in on Ken who was hovering by the bar. My heart started to beat double time, particularly when he turned his head to the side and almost made eye contact with me. Panicking, I stupidly shielded my face behind my hands, somehow thinking that I couldn't be spotted that way, before I noticed Sora had arched an eyebrow and was staring at me like I had just indecently exposed myself to everyone in the room.

"I saw Ken," I admitted, trying to conceal my embarrassment, "Daisuke must be here..." My voice trailed off when I saw an expression of unease slowly edge across Sora's face.

"What?" I quizzed, immediately feeling on edge as Sora shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

"They split up a few months ago, Daisuke and Ken."

It appears the entire universe changes when you go abroad for several months. Last I'd heard Daisuke had even moved in with Ken...

"And no one told me?" I lowered my voice, biting back the anger that was bubbling to the surface. Sora sighed and briefly shut her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but Dai didn't want you to know."

My expression must have looked blank because after hearing that I felt completely numb and gutted that this was the first I'd heard that news. Scraping the far recesses of my brain for an explanation behind what I'd just been told, my stomach suddenly lurched violently as the buffet food threatened to make a reappearance.

"Oh, fuck... Ken didn't...?"

We both turned and watched as Ken drifted towards Miyako who was at the other end of the bar, his steps were stiff and reluctant. As soon as she noticed him, she stuck her nose up in the air and marched straight past him with her cocktail clutched firmly in her hand. The temptation to throw it all over him must have been incredible because, even from the distance I was standing away from them, I could see that she was shaking out of rage.

"No, not this time," Sora clarified. There seemed to be relief coated in her voice. I was glad to hear and see that Ken hadn't run off back to Miyako again, but it still didn't really change the fact that Daisuke would probably rip my balls off tonight if he saw me.

Reaching into my pocket, my fingers instantly curled around the cigarette packet nestled within the fabric vacuum of awesomeness- I was pleased that I had space in my formal attire for my necessities. Timmy's English-obsessed parents were to thank. They hadn't been particularly keen with keeping the entire engagement celebration traditionally Japanese, they had agreed that the girls would wear kimonos and guys would dress up in suits. As for the private country venue on the outskirts of Tokyo, which was away from the hustle bustle of the main city, that had, of course, been selected by Sora's mother and grandmother.

"If you wanna smoke you'll have to go outside," Sora instructed as she watched me tug out my pack of smokes.

"Aw man," I groaned. Social exclusion was never fun, particularly when it was because you were addicted to nicotine. I knew that Sora didn't mind me smoking, so I had a suspicion it was another rule which her mother or grandmother had enforced.

"I'll go without I guess," I sighed, unwillingly.

I changed my mind when I saw that Mimi and Koushiro were approaching us, alongside my sister, with drinks in their hands.

"They want to talk to you as well, you can't avoid them forever," Sora warned as she watched me edge towards the stairway leading down to the door to my escape.

"Ok, I'll be back in a sec," I promised, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, purposely staring intently into her eyes. "You look stunning by the way."

I rushed off down the steps, my unlit cigarette already hanging out off my mouth, smirking because I knew I had made Sora blush. She really did look elegant though, with her auburn hair held up by chopstick pins and the graceful royal blue kimono she (or her mother) had chosen. It reminded me just how quickly we were all growing up.

Outside, the humid night air was cooler than the clouded 'body heat' atmosphere indoors. Hopping down a set of wooden steps, I started to follow the gravel path- lit up by small lanterns- into an area shaded by a dome of tree branches and leaves. A sharp sensation pounded against my chest whilst I wondered why no one had told me about Daisuke and Ken, and if they were keeping anything from me...

Following the sharp bend in the path I cursed silently as I dropped my lighter when it stubbornly refused to slide back into my pocket. Kneeling down quickly to retrieve it, the rich earthy scent of damp and moss drifted up my nostrils, and then something else, a smell that was warm and familiar. Standing up again, I saw the reason why.

Yamato was dressed in a crisp white shirt and blue tie. His suit jacket was slung over his shoulder, like some sort of Dolce and Gabbana model. A cigarette rested between his lips whilst he fiddled around with his phone with one of his hands. Hovering only a few feet away from me, I knew he was already aware of my presence so it would have been embarrassing for me to turn back, only to hear him call my name and ask 'what's the hurry?'.

There was also no point avoiding him any longer. It wasn't as if I _hadn't_ been in contact with him over the past couple of years. There'd been a lot of texting, the occasional phone call, and two hard to forget steamy Skype moments. Somehow, during that time, we'd never really spoken about what had happened with Daisuke, and how Yamato had exposed the truth without me knowing, but he knew that I resented him for it.

This was the first time we had seen each other in the flesh in almost two years; and now that we were out of the prying eyes of the people who thought they knew us best, something was going to happen.

I watched carefully as Yamato placed his phone into his trousers pocket and exhaled a mouthful of smoke out from his mouth as he balanced his cigarette between his index and middle finger.

"Thanks for joining me." It was clearly a jibe at me for ignoring him earlier when he'd floated around indoors earlier. A hot flash of anger burnt through my veins as he just stood there casually, waiting for my response. Somehow I willed myself to calm down; I knew this wasn't the time or place to start a fight, but I still had to wipe the small smirk from Yamato's face.

"I didn't come here for you, Yamato," I stated coldly, aware he was moving towards me, gracefully as always.

"Well, I was hoping you'd be here," he said, the truth manifesting in his eyes. Removing my cigarette from my lips, I frowned at his choice of words.

"What are you talking abou..." I realised then that he was talking about me actually turning up to Sora's and Timmy's party, as opposed to just sharing a secluded cigarette break with him.

"Well, I'll doubt I'll be staying for much longer," I affirmed, praying he would take the hint.

"Come back with me then," he offered, his eyes glinting persuasively. I snorted loudly in disbelief.

"Are you seriously suggesting...?"

"...It's not a suggestion," Yamato stated, matter-of-factly.

Realising that this line of conversation was not doing either of us any favours, I threw my cigarette butt onto the ground and firmly stomped my foot down on it.

"You know what, forget it. I'm going back inside," I announced trying my best not to lock eyes with Yamato. But then, from the corner of my vision I saw a panicked expression creep across his face. Looking back over at him, his eyes were wide and his mouth was partly open, as if I'd just cut him off in mid-sentence.

Sensing danger, I went to turn, but Yamato's warm hand griped onto my forearm before he tugged me towards him. His lips precariously brushed against my own as he waited for my will to cave in. The whole situation reminded me too much of the first night we had slept together when I had visited him in Itami. Like then, I could taste the sweet temptation on his lips; my knees were becoming unsteady and my mind felt like it was melting.

"No, don't. I'm growing tired of this," I hissed, pushing him away.

"I'm growing tired of living without _you_!" He snapped back. A vulnerable glimmer shone in his rich blue irises, which somehow managed to burn a hole straight through my heart.

"Your fault, Yama." I could feel my body trembling, my voice faltering. "It's your own bloody fault!"

I had to get away from him.

"Maybe you're right," his tone was soft and contemplative, tears were threatening to spill from his eyes "But that doesn't change the fact that I love..."

"..._Don't _say it," I warned, " don't you dare."

I spun around once again, readying myself to walk away.

"Then why did _you_ say it?"

My body seized, fortunately only momentarily.

"Bastard," I said, silently.

This time he didn't try and stop me as I made my escape.

Staggering back towards the venue, finally escaping from the emotional bubble which had settled around me and Yamato, I held back a hollow sob. Why did he choose to bring _that _up? Of all places, of all times!

Memories came flooding back almost instantaneously. I had returned to my shared house after a night out in Portsmouth at the Student Union. In my drunken state I thought it would be a great idea to phone Yamato. As soon as he heard my voice he knew I was drunk, but we spoke for almost an hour about University and the random things we had been up to. In that time, after getting through a pint of water, I started to sober up. That's when the conversation started to change.

We got talking about our childhood. The lazy days we'd spent together, the memory box. Then there'd been a mention of our first kiss, followed by an awkward pause of silence. My heart started to race as I relived filling that silence with those three small dangerous words, hanging up immediately after what I'd said registered into my head.

_I love you._

It had happened over a year ago, but that time had never been mentioned, until Yamato had decided to unearth it several seconds ago.

Now that my mind racing all over the place, and I wasn't able see straight due to the tears blurring my vision, colliding straight into Daisuke by the wooden steps was something I was unable to avoid.

His scent was the last familiar thing I remembered. I couldn't make sense of the rest. Over the next several seconds, bright images flashed up in front of my eyes, some were static, whilst others focused on what I felt was unnecessary. The interior of a nightclub, a pretty guy bringing a drink up to his lips, his eyes catching my own. Back outside, a green car flying past, my arm clipping the wing mirror.

Then there was just blackness, haunted by a single screech of raw emotion.

* * *

D-Angel: Amagawd, a cliffhanger, amagawd! Yeah, couldn't resist. I have a dangerous plan for this story now, and I am praying it will work out. This is the point where shit gets real. I was planning to end this chapter a lot differently, but I decided to go in with the OMG WTF factor. Hehe.

As you may be aware, your feedback is most certainly encouraged, and as always, highly appreciated. Lemme know what you thought about the Yama and Tai interaction, that scene was what took me longest to finish! Your suggestions are always welcome as well :)

Take care anyways my lovelys.

See you all next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel

17/03/12


	13. Chapter 13

___**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

* * *

D-Angel:Hey guys :) Darky here with another update. Expect more over the next few weeks... For those who don't already know, I've broken my ankle so have a lot of free time to write since I'm pretty much house-bound at the moment. Thought I may as well be productive with the time I have off from work / kickboxing.

Typed this chapter up in about three days (started Sunday, finished today). Probably could have had it finished sooner... I still get distracted a lot it seems, even when I'm crippled, lol. I guess I could use research as an excuse as well! Still, I hope the chapter's a good one... It's definitely one of the most depressing chapters I have written in a long, long time anyways. You'll see what I mean.

Read on and enjoy!

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Angst, so much angst! Oh God it's EVERYWHERE!

* * *

Chapter 13

* * *

It wasn't the constant beeping of a heart monitor, nor was it the sound of air being sucked in and out of a carton of juice; it was the warm hand on my cheek that stirred me from my slumber.

I didn't know whose hand it was. When I tried to open my eyelids they refused to obey, as if they had been completely super glued shut. Something was covered over my mouth as well, a mask of some kind. It didn't take me too long to realise that it was pumping air in and out of me.

This was a bad situation.

My limbs remained motionless, no matter how much I willed them to move. I'd only experienced sleep paralysis a few times in my life, but I knew this wasn't it. With sleep paralysis you eventually snap out of the state.

Footsteps faded, whoever was at my side had left. Left me alone in this nightmare. I tried and again to move, to even shout out, but I had no control over my body. I grew frustrated, confused. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs, like it was trying to escape from my body. I couldn't calm myself down.

The beeping around me increased. Hurried feet patter into the room and cold hands were all over me.

"His blood pressure's rising!" An unfamiliar voice rang out.

More panicked voices echoed through the darkness as my body started to convulse, rattling the frame of the bed I was resting on. Strong arms held me down. A sharp sting shot through my arm, then I soon enough drifted back into the world of unconsciousness.

This terrifying scene was my first new memory.

* * *

Voices. I heard voices the next time. A deep, informative masculine voice. And my mum's.

"Thankfully, there's still brain activity. As you know scans showed that the stroke inflicted a noticeable amount of damage to his cerebral cortex. The seizure he had fortunately didn't add any additional trauma as far as we could identify in the scans. How serious the damage that's already been inflicted, we won't know until he gains consciousness. Even then we anticipate memory loss, again we can't judge how severe in his current state. Impairment to his speech and his basic motor skills are to be expected too."

Though I did not know how to react emotionally to the news about my condition, my broken brain somehow stored the information, realising its importance. I reflected it on it a few times during my comatose state, yet I still couldn't emotionally comprehend what had happened or how it would affect me.

"Doctor, could he hear what we're saying at the moment?" I felt a strange state of relaxation whenever I heard my mum's voice in my days of darkness. Relaxation and fear were the only two emotions I could honestly differentiate between. Any other feelings summoned confusion and frustration.

"It's feasible," the man spoke, "although he might not be absorbing any of it in. There's no harm in talking to him though."

"Focus on recovering, sweetheart." My mum's warm lips pressed against my forehead. I slipped back under shortly after into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

My eyes opened one day. The beeping machines were still there, but the mask over my mouth had been removed. Tubes and wires were attached mainly to my arms. One tube was even up my nose. I didn't like how they felt. I wanted to tear them out.

I tried moving my arms, but only managed to lift them both up and down a couple of times

before I felt drained and had to stop. I noted that the right one was particularly the most stubborn.

I glanced around at my surroundings, until a young lady came into the room with a bright smile on her face. After looking at the information on the beeping apparatuses, she leant over me. When she looked into my eyes my vision started to blur. I closed them shut until I was certain she had moved her head away. My vision still was a little fuzzy when I reopened them.

"I'm Nurse Mai. Do you know why you're here, Yagami-san?" Her voice was friendly, like my mum's.

I tried to talk, but a strange slur tumbled out instead of the words I intended. The nurse's expression altered; first her eyes widened, then her lips momentarily down-turned and she placed her hand on mine. Sharp pins and needles shot across my skin. I didn't like it.

"You suffered from an hemorrhagic stroke, triggered by a burst blood vessel in your brain. Fortunately you were rushed into hospital just in time. We stopped the bleeding before it spread any further, then did what we could to drain excess fluid to ease the swelling."

I parted my lips wanting to say something, but my tongue felt too heavy. It was no wonder I couldn't talk properly. Confusion plagued my mind. Despite the nurse had just explained what had happened to me in medical terms, I still didn't know how I'd ended up that way.

"You might be feeling a bit groggy at the moment; don't worry, it's perfectly normal. Just rest for now, your mum's on the way to visit you."

Rest… For some reason I didn't like that word.

"There's been some progress today," I overheard the nurse after she had stepped out into the corridor. "Despite he's been awake for the past two days, today he seemed to acknowledge my presence and what I was saying…" Her voice faded as she disappeared off down the corridor. Either that or my attention waned and something else caught my interest.

There were a lot of things my brain didn't retain during the first few weeks of my recovery.

One of the first things I discovered was that I was bald. My amazing wild hair had been completely shaved off so they could save my life. Despite I saw the bigger picture (I.e. my hair would grow back) it made me feel sad. However, I physically couldn't shed a tear to display it.

My mum stayed by my side most of the time (or at least during the parts I remembered). A lot of the machinery, tubes and what not provided the nutrition my body needed, and dispensed of what wasn't… So Mum mainly kept me engaged in conversation_. _Conversation basically being me attempting each time not to slur my words and to try and structure my sentences together correctly. It was frustrating. Although I knew what I wanted to say most of the time, the wrong words would keep coming out.

By miracle my reading and writing abilities had hardly been impacted, it didn't take too long for me to get to grips with them again. Everyone just encouraged me to work on my speech and movement. It was to become a long and tedious process, one which I seemed to lack the patience for.

The mobility in the right side of my body had been affected the worst, unlucky since I was right-handed, so my already scruffy hand writing was practically illegible. At least the words still came out better on paper than they did from my mouth.

They soon had me up and walking around. Gradual steps each day since I was wobbly on my legs at first, but soon I was able to make it across the room and back on my crutches. Whilst everyone around me seemed to cheer me on and commend my progress, I didn't feel the same elation they obviously did. Something was missing, perhaps even damaged in my brain, and I wanted to find out what it was so I could revive it.

* * *

The days seemed endless. Because I struggled to remember things, it still hadn't really sunk in how much time had passed.

I'd hoped my memories would flood back to me within a week or two; not even fully, but to at least give me the gist of what had happened in the two month window between Sora's engagement party and my ending up in hospital. Almost two and a half months on, all that I had to go by were random snippets I could never make sense of, which seemed to blur into a single memory of their own. No one ever spoke of what had happened either. I think they feared that the frustration of me trying to place these memories would make my brain explode again.

At some stage the doctors said it was ok for my mum to show me photographs, so long as they were from before my memories had been damaged. Mum came into the room one day, perched on the edge of my bed, and placed a small pile of snapshots into my hand.

"Let me know if any of these pictures confuse you."

As I flipped through each picture a rush of compassion rushed through me when I stared at the familiar faces. I eventually reached over to the bedside cabinet and picked up my pen and notepad. My arm was shaking as I wrote, but not because I was nervous, it was an unfortunate complication as a result of the stroke.

_Where are my friends?_

I looked up at my Mum once she had read the words. Her eyes were watering.

"I didn't think you'd wanted them to see you like this. You've never mentioned them either, not since the stroke."

It was not easy to explain. I hadn't forgotten about them, yet I kinda had. It was only after seeing the photos I remembered everything about them, and even the friends that weren't in the pictures.

I placed the nib of the pen against the paper and scrawled as best I could;

_Where's Yamato? _

My mum's eyes were no longer watering, her mouth had curled into a small scowl. It was as if she was angry that I'd asked.

"He… "

"Yuuko-chan?" A nurse was stood in the doorway. "Your daughter, she's been readmitted. She asked to see you."

Mum's daughter, my sister. Hikari. My mum's face crumpled before my eyes.

"Take me to her, please." My mum rose to her feet. "Bring Taichi too, I want him to know what's happening with his sister."

I was placed into a wheelchair and was whisked through a maze of double doors and long corridors. Eventually we reached the right ward and were led into a room that consisted of four separate beds; one placed in the centre of each quarter of the room. It took me a few seconds to recognise the thin pale girl resting on the bed closest to the doorway, dressed in a pair of pink pyjamas. Tubes and wires were attached to her frail body.

"Hikari?" The name fell from lips flawlessly.

"Onii-san?" Hikari responded in a quiet voice. It sounded like she had just woken up.

A mature man and woman were sat on plastic chairs by her bedside doting over her. I assumed they were her adoptive parents. They turned their heads and stared at us when they became aware of our presence. They'd never been too keen on my mum from what I had been told by Hikari, but in such circumstances they knew they had to be civil.

As they spoke to Mum and explained the situation I tried to follow the conversation, but my mind couldn't process all the new information it was receiving. I placed my hands over my ears and started sobbing loudly, although the tears refused to fall from my eyes. The nurse wheeled me out the room and partly down the corridor with my mum on tow. They stopped walking when my cries of frustration eased.

"It was too much for him to take in," she sighed to my mum, "he's still recovering…"

I didn't like how she was referring to me in third person, nor how she didn't quite understand how difficult it was being emotionally impaired.

"I _need _to know what happened to me, or at least know what happened to my sister," I snarled, my hands clenching tightly onto the arms of the wheelchair. My sudden burst of aggression startled the nurse and my mum.

"Hikari collapsed at Sora's engagement party, she had to have an emergency heart transplant," Mum revealed calmly, kneeling down to my level, resting her hand against mine. "Now her body's rejecting the new implant. They're trying to find a new donor…"

"Let her have my heart," I said tracing an unsteady hand across my chest, "I don't need it, the rest of me is broken."

"Don't say that, Tai," my mum replied, before biting down on her lip. She knew the truth as well though.

The old Taichi was locked away, a prisoner in my mind. With what was going on around me, and with the things I still didn't know, I didn't feel confident he would return anytime soon.

* * *

D-Angel:Eep! Poor Chi, I know... all mentally / physically impaired. Big jump from the end of the last chapter I know, and a risk I was willing to take. No regrets though, it was a pretty interesting / controversial chapter to write. I must say, it's difficult to write from the POV of someone who's suffered from brain damage. I did some research on strokes and memory loss etc... Interesting stuff.

Will you find out what happened to Taichi between the point where Chapter 12 ended and Chapter 13 begun? Of course, I'd be an evil writer otherwise... Well, I kinda am already, lol, but I don't like to leave things unanswered. There's two months worth of memories Taichi's lost after all... Scary stuff.

Anyways, review if you must, vent your opinions and what not, I'll be happy to hear from you.

See you guys next chapter (oh, and watch out for gravel, that stuff is a hazard to ankles!)

* * *

D-Angel

29/05/12


	14. Chapter 14

___**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

* * *

D-Angel: _-Waves- _Me again! The previous chapter was sad I know :( This one probably isn't any cheerier, but there's a little twist at the end... And answers will start to leak out soon; such as what happened with Dai and Ken, **MsDeborah**! And the question that I'm even wondering... Where the hell is Yama? Lol.

Without further ado, here it is, Ch14...

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Mild violence, mention of nudity (lol)

* * *

Chapter 14

* * *

My friends started visiting over the next few days, under the supervision of my mum. Each friend that visited seem to evoke some form of emotion or trait about myself I had forgotten. I didn't expect Miyako, Ken or Daisuke to show their faces. Even before all the drama, I'd never been close to Miyako or Ken, and I couldn't think why Daisuke would show, even if he was the last person I could recall interacting with before my memories became corrupt.

Sora made sure she was the first to see me. The moment she walked into my room her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so glad you're ok," she said, wiping the sleeve of her long sleeved t-shirt across her watering eyes once she had sat down on the plastic chair besides my bed.

It was strange. Sora didn't say a lot else besides mentioning about how her wedding planning were coming along and how she was glad I was making a gradual but positive recovery. She didn't mention anything about the months I couldn't remember, or anything about Yamato. Then again, no one ever did.

The old Taichi would have questioned this, but the current Taichi knew no better.

Apparently I wouldn't be staying in the hospital for much longer, there were talks of moving me to a rehabilitation centre where I could continue my physiotherapy and speech therapy under constant specialist care. When Jyou, the medical genius of our group came to see me, he reassured me about a couple of physical issues I'd been concerned about…

"It's a common effect after suffering from a stroke, Tai," Jyou explained, unable to prevent his cheeks from turning slightly pink, "while you're going through your recovery you may find it'll take a while for you to regain your, err, libido."

It was very frustrating. My sex drive used to be through the roof beforehand, but now sex rarely even cross my mind. Whenever it did, my body never responded, so I saw no point in thinking about it (Not the best thought cycle my brain had ever come up with).

When Koushiro showed up I was pleased. It'd been too long since we'd shared a conversation.

As I started to tell him about the first year of my masters degree, and the things I had learnt (and somehow my brain had still retained) he gradually narrowed his eyes. I mistook this as him trying to concentrate so he could understand what I was saying, since a majority of my words seemed to possess an annoying slur.

"You're speaking in English, Tai," Koushiro eventually pointed out, having to interrupt my story which he was probably trying to hard to understand with his basic knowledge of the English language.

I slapped my hand against my forehead, as if disciplining my brain. Quickly picking up my notebook and pen, I scribbled a message in our native tongue.

_Sorry, my head's a mess. It's like all the wires in there are tangled together_

"Maybe you should get some cable ties," Koushiro said, his lips curled up into a smile. Seconds later, a distorted warm sound vibrated through the room, one which I could relate to joy and happiness. It was only when it faded when I realised I had made it. I had just laughed for the first time in months.

* * *

A few days before I was due to move out of my ward, I had woken up with a familiar itch which had been bugging me for the past couple of days.

"Fuck, I need a smoke." Those words had come out without me having to give it any thought. It seemed that my brain had finally remembered about its little nicotine addiction.

I had to mentally remind myself of how to smoke by associating the words in my mind. Smoke meant cigarette, which was one of those little sticks that people in movies slid between their lips to look cool. They'd light them and then inhale before savouring the calming rush which slid through their bodies.

"Sorry, Taichi, but you'll need to quit," Nurse Mai announced once I had asked if she had any cigarettes.

"No smoking?" I scratched my fingers against the scar on my stubbly head, left from when they had operated on my brain to stop the bleeding.

"We've dropped your daily intake of morphine, so we anticipated that your cravings might resurface since you were a heavy smoker. You'll need to fight them. Eventually you'll overcome the urge. I'll sort you out with some nicotine patches if you want."

Nurse Mai scribbled something down onto the clipboard she had cradled underneath her arm, but I still didn't understand why decreasing my morphine had anything to do with me not being allowed to smoke.

"You have to live a healthy lifestyle from now on," Nurse Mai explained after noticing my frustrated wrinkled brow, "you're more prone than other people your age to having another stroke, smoking will only increase that risk."

"So, not even one cigarette?" By this point, I had grasped what she meant; I was just pushing my luck. Nurse Mai chuckled realising that I was only playing dumb. Something a lot of the other nurses and therapists had mistaken as me just struggling to take new information in- mainly because I still had issues with mimicking my facial expressions to my emotions.

"I'm afraid not. It'll also mean no alcohol, drugs; anything that could raise your blood pressure."

"So, no sex?" I concluded, although I was unsure why that had been the first thing that has sprung to mind.

"The chances of you having a stroke through sexual intercourse are very slim, Taichi-kun," she informed lightly resting her soft hand onto my arm, "you still have a young and healthy heart, so I have no doubt you'll be able to maintain a healthy sex life."

Well that would have a relief to hear, if I still wasn't impotent.

"Ne, how have your 'desires' been recently?" Nurse Mai pried, perhaps concerned that I hadn't forced a smile.

To demonstrate my answer I lifted up my left arm and mimicked it wilting. Judging by the squeeze she gave my shoulder, she probably already knew this from talking to my mum (as mentioned, she'd been presence whilst I told Jyou about the issue).

"I think I can help," Nurse Mai said, signing off with a wink before she left the room.

She returned later on that day with a couple boxes of nicotine patches and a magazine which, when I flicked through it, I discovered was filled with ladies who weren't shy about flaunting their womanly assets.

Despite it wasn't my cup of tea, it was still a sweet gesture, and although I never looked through it again (ok, I had _another_ peep, but just out of curiosity), I thanked her for it.

* * *

I wasn't prepared for Mimi's visit. I don't think anyone was.

Upon setting her eyes on me she burst into floods of tears and immediately rushed over to my bed to hug me, wailing that she wished she'd been a better friend

"I should have been more supportive over the last few weeks," Mimi sobbed, holding onto my hand, "but you got back with Yamato and…"

My mum had stood up from her chair, rather abruptly.

"Taichi doesn't remember any of that," she spoke, placing a firm hand on Mimi's shoulder, "it's only going to confuse him by talking about it. He needs to remember in his own time."

But what if I couldn't ever remember what had happened?

No one had even asked me about the small things I did remember, I think they just assumed that there was just a blank slate where those memories should have been, but there were brief snapshots I could recall, sensations, sounds. All of it was jumbled and too confusing to try and make sense of.

As Mimi's words sunk into my head I realised she had mentioned Yamato. If I'd got back with him, then why wasn't he here? Why hadn't he visited me?

"Where's Yamato?" I asked. My mum stared at me like she couldn't understand what I was saying, but I was certain I had made my words as audible as possible.

"Why won't you tell me!" I shouted, unable to control the volume of my voice, nor the rage bubbling in the pit of my stomach. As a red stained mist obscured my vision, things became hazy.

A couple of nurses came hurrying in, the male one restrained me whilst the female one tried to wrap something around my arm, repeating in a controlled voice for me to settle down. As something sharp jabbed into my arm I screamed and mustered up all my remaining strength, pushing the female nurse away from me before throwing a clumsy punch at the male nurse.

As they backed away I tried to climb off the bed but lost my balance as my feet touched the floor. The muscles in my legs were still weak from not being used properly in a while and the sedatives they had just injected me with were already taking effect. I crumpled to the floor and shortly blacked out.

When I opened my eyes, I didn't know where I was. I wasn't in my hospital bed. The bed I wrapped up in was too comfy, and my surroundings were too quiet. As I stared up at the unfamiliar blue tinted ceiling, I became aware of a pounding sensation crashing against my skull.

I threw the covers off my naked body, clutching onto my forehead. Although I wanted to groan, no sound escaped from my throat.

"You ok?" A tired voice asked. Immediately my head turned in its direction. A silhouetted figure was sat on a chair by the window, his long legs stretched out, a cigarette resting between his pert lips.

My blood ran cold.

It was Yamato.

* * *

D-Angel: _-smirks-_

Taichi: Goddamit! Enough with your cliff-hangers :(

D-Angel: But, suspense is good!

Taichi: Pah, not when you're messing around with me and my precious mind.

D-Angel: Deal with it. Anyways, my lovely readers, as you can see things are about to get interesting (not like they weren't already, or at least I hope…). I'm sort of playing this all by ear at the moment, I have a rough plan, but I kinda keep straying from it every time I write a chapter, lol. Just going with my muse's suggestions really whilst I write _-hugs her muse- . _

I'm going to try and round the story off in another 5 chapters (or so). So I **may **have this completed by the end of the year! :O

Thanks for all your lovely support so far, seriously. All the reviews and private messages people have sent mean the world to me :)

Take care everyone and I'll see you next chapter!

X x x

* * *

D-Angel

13/06/12


	15. Chapter 15

___**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

* * *

D-Angel:Hey guys, hope you're well :) My ankle (now out of plaster) is slowly healing, although I'm still on crutches and about to start having physio... I've also been signed off work for another two weeks since I had a bit of drama this week and so been told it's safer for me just to rest at home! So yeah, means I can do more writing at least :)

Anyways, as always, thanks for your lovely reviews / feedback. I hope this chapter will answer a few questions ;)

Read on and have fun!_  
_

Rating: **M**

Warnings: Mention of nudity

* * *

Chapter 15

* * *

Although his features weren't prominent in the soft moonlit room, there was no mistaking it was Yamato. I knew his aura far too well. He sat there, naked, legs stretched out in front of him, one arm drooped down by his side. His hair, slightly ruffled, like he had just ran his fingers through it.

"You ok?" he repeated, in the exact same tone, no frustration or concern apparent because I hadn't answered him the first time. The cigarette was now resting between his fingers; he brought it up to his lips, like he was simply about to blow a kiss, and breathed in the soothing fumes.

"Yeah," I lied, my voice sounded hoarse and raw. It felt like my mind had disconnected from reality. My head still hurt, yet the pain was no longer as intense as it was when I had first become aware of my different surroundings. They seemed somewhat familiar, like a dream from long ago which had decided to replay itself, or to bring me back to the same setting only under different circumstances.

Clenching my eyes shut, I reopened them to see that Yamato was now on the bed kneeling besides me, the cigarette, gone, stubbed out in an ashtray on the small wooden bedside table. The final fumes raising from it, reminding me of the cooling vapours which float out aimlessly from an open freezer door.

"She'll be fine," Yamato reassured, running his fingers along my right arm. The sensation, I remember it being peculiar, perhaps something I even liked; almost similar to ice on hot skin. Refreshing and soothing. He was referring to Hikari I concluded. There was something I was feeling, besides the nausea from what must have been a hangover. I could only describe it as fear; fear that my little sister was going to die.

In what seems like a flash I was climbing off the bed; everything started to blur and melt around me as I staggered towards a door that was in front of me and tugged it open. I double blinked. There was nothing but blackness in front of me, still, my body did not hesitate to step forward into the unknown.

The moment my foot made contact with a cold flat surface, my entire body jolted and my eyes snapped open. My breathing erratic, heart thumping against my ribs; I was back in my hospital bed, underneath the itchy, starchy sheets dressed in a loose t-shirt and baggy pyjama bottoms. The stench of cleaning chemicals and latex stinging harshly against my nostrils.

The room was dark and still, for a minute I wondered if I was still dreaming; that was until I propped myself up using my left arm and flinched as a sharp sensation shot through my elbow.

Sneaking a glance, now that my eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness, I frowned when I saw a small piece of cotton bud wool stuck with medical tape on the underside of my elbow joint (which was where they had injected the sedatives).

My right hand shook against my will as I tried to pick it off, I bit down on my lip in frustration as I barely even managed to scrape away a millimetre of the tape with my useless fingers. Admitting defeat I growled and brought my left arm up to my mouth and ended up tearing it off with my teeth.

"Shit," I hissed, that had hurt more than it being inconveniently attached to one of my most used joints.

Laying back against my uncomfortable pillow, my mind drifted back to dream I had awoken from. I hadn't dreamt since having the stroke, and even before then, I'd been terrible at remembering my dreams, and they were often too crazy to interpret, so I was surprised I still recalled all the details.

The sweet fruity scent of Yamato, the key shapes and colours of his features as he'd ran his hand across me on the double bed; I knew it had been him, and that moment had been real. It hadn't been a dream; everything else had felt far too real and familiar. There had been a definite sense of déjà vu, despite it had not played out smoothly; pieces were still missing.

It hadn't been perfect but I knew it was a memory. One of my lost memories.

* * *

"You have a visitor," a nurse announced with a cheery smile on her plump face, although she maintained he distance from the chair I was sat on. She still was a bit wary around me, a lot of the staff were. It was fortunate that the nurses from the other hospital had not pressed charges for my aggressive outburst; instead my relocation date was pushed forward. Just days later I'd been moved to a more suitable clinic for patients who were recovering from strokes and other brain related malfunctions.

The room they'd given me was spacey enough, filled with a comfy single bed, a couple of plush chairs and wooden table, a few drawers for clothes and personal belongings, and there was even a little en-suite bathroom consisting of a toilet, sink and shower.

The staff had been pushing me to my limits; both mobility-wise and psychologically. Although I still had to concentrate to smile, and had a few issues with moving the right-side of my body, I did have days where I found it easier to interact with people the way I used to before the stroke, which was the bonus for a social animal like me.

I hadn't told the nurses or doctors about the small memory I had revived in my sleep, worried they'd asked me what the memory was since it involved Yamato. Judging by the fact that not even my own mother wouldn't talk about him, or where he is, I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to let anyone know his presence was in my mind just yet.

Since then I'd also had two other recollections; both involving Yamato in that same room. One time daylight had been shining through the window. There'd been a bottle clasped in my hand, and like before my head had been throbbing. Yamato was curled up on the bed besides me, his skin paler than usual.

Still, it wasn't enough information to bridge the blank gap in my mind.

Shifting in my chair, I gazed down at my phone resting on my leg. It wasn't my old phone, despite the model and make were the same. There were no scratches on its un-protected shell, no old texts or photographs. Apparently I'd lost my old phone. Despite I couldn't remember doing so, it was one thing I didn't believe.

"Here he is!" The chubby nurse chirped. When Daisuke was led into the room my eyes widened and the muscles in my chest tightened. Talk about an unexpected visitor… My mum wasn't with him either- she was visiting Hikari who'd just woken up after having her transplant- so I had a feeling she wouldn't be happy if she found about Daisuke's surprise appearance. I knew she was trying so desperately to guard me from something…

"Sorry I didn't visit before, your mum did ask, but I wasn't ready to see you like you were. Sora said she'd found it difficult, and she's usually really strong, so yeah…"

"Understandable." I responded, studying his face. He had certainly matured, a serious glaze had wiped away his once innocent, goofy smile and big brown eyes.

"So, how are you?" Daisuke asked, fidgeting with the strap of his bag which was slung across his shoulder. He was far from the bouncy sixteen year old I used to know. Was I responsible for his transformation?

"Getting better." Using the arm rests as support I hoisted my body up from my chair, deciding to lay down on my bed for a bit whilst Daisuke continued his formalities. As I hobbled over, Daisuke placed his arm around me and helped me onto the mattress. I could have done it myself without assistance and I wanted to frown; however, like smiling, it was something I also had to concentrate in order to do, so I let it slide.

"How about you?" I inquired as I wiggled about on the bed, trying to get comfy.

"Not bad, University's going ok."

I forced a small smile; damn it hurt.

Daisuke grabbed the chair I'd been sitting on and carried it over to my bedside before he plonked himself down and removed his bag from his shoulder. I could smell the scent of stale cigarette smoke on him. God, I _really_ needed a smoke; those nicotine patches did sod all to help abolish my cravings. My body ached for the calming rush which I knew could potentially end up killing me.

"How much longer are they gonna keep you in here for?"

"Not sure, a few more weeks maybe… even after that I'll need more physio," I explained, stretching my legs out across the bed. Although I was wearing jeans, I could still see how much smaller my muscles in my legs were compared to a few months ago. I'd lost over a stone in weight as well, maybe even two, I couldn't quite remember what the doctor had told me.

"Is it true you lost some of your memories?" Daisuke shifted in his chair, tucking his right foot underneath his left thigh; he'd always sat like that whenever he was feeling uneasy. I think it somehow helped him relax.

"Only everything between colliding into you at Sora's party and waking up at the hospital."

Daisuke lowered his gaze to the floor.

"So, you can't remember anything that happened that night, after you bumped into me?"

"Dai, I don't think I would be here if I could," I said dryly, running my hand against my stubbly scalp. I was pleased that my hair was gradually growing back, although there was always going to be a slight bald patches where the surgeons had sliced my skull open and stitched it back up. "I was told about Hikari, but I don't remember it happening."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Closing my eyes, I tried to recall that moment, there was an itching sensation in my brain, like it was trying so hard to retrieve the missing details. I knew it was in there somewhere, perhaps not in pristine condition, but I kept focusing on the point where I crashed into Daisuke, before everything else became hazy.

His arms, they grabbed onto my waist to steady me, to stop us both from falling. I looked up at his face, I think, Daisuke's eyes were narrowed. He may have said something, his lips moved. Then another arm from behind, grabbing onto my wrist, yanking me away from Daisuke.

I reopened my eyes. My body was trembling, sweat poured down my creased brow. I did my best to slow my breathing; the last thing I wanted was another stroke.

"I- I think someone tugged me away from you."

Daisuke nodded his head.

"It was Yamato; he thought we were hugging."

Yamato's angry face flashed briefly before my eyes.

"What did I do?" I questioned, lifting my knees up towards my chest.

"You pushed him away, told him to fuck off I think," Daisuke informed, there was a small smirk of amusement twitching on his face, which soon subsided as he played through the rest of what happened in his mind. "Hikari was looking for you- she came outside, saw the commotion, and then, she collapsed at the top of the steps."

And then what? Daisuke obviously assumed I could figure things out from there… Knowing the old me, I must have gone into panic mode, rushing over to my sister, maybe screaming at someone to call an ambulance. I must have felt scared; her life hanging in the balance, and me not having any control of the situation. No wonder why I couldn't remember- it wasn't exactly something someone would want to relive over and over.

Warm teardrops started to fall from my eyes, much to my surprise, they felt awfully hot against my sensitive skin. Hesitantly, Daisuke stood up and climbed onto the bed. I shuddered as his muscular arms wrapped around me; I was at my most vulnerable, he was willing to try and calm me down. Him holding me, it felt so familiar and comforting. Guilt tore through me as I recalled the things I had done to damage him, to the extent where he hadn't wanted to talk to me for practically two years. He was such a kind hearted guy, and I'd finally realised just what I'd thrown away.

"I really regret hurting you like I did," I murmured, wiping the sleeve of my t-shirt against my runny nose whilst Daisuke rested his head on my chest. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. I knew he would never forgive me properly for what I did, but he couldn't hate me for it either, although it would have been easier for the both of us if he could.

We stayed like that, hugging in silence, until the nurse nudged open the door and popped her round, asking if I wanted to eat dinner in my room, or in the canteen with some of the other patients. Daisuke quickly leapt away from me, blushing as he fell back into the chair next to the bed.

"I'll eat in here," I decided. I still didn't feel ready to face interacting with new people.

After the nurse had waddled off, Daisuke reached down and picked up his bag, placing the strap over his broad shoulder.

"I'd best be off," Daisuke said. I swung my legs over so they were dangling off the edge of the bed.

"Dai, what happened with you and Ken?" I asked, just as Daisuke was standing up. He gripped onto his bag strap momentarily and peered over at the doorway before gazing back at me.

"I ended it," he revealed, his hand creeping into his pocket, "he was becoming a little too possessive, I-I didn't like it."

His voice sounded on-edge, as if there was the possibility that Ken was lurking around the corner, ready to march into the room and claim him back.

"Last I heard, he's back with Miyako," Daisuke said with a sneer on his face. "She's welcome to him as far as I'm concerned."

It wasn't a surprise, but it was disappointing to hear that they had ended up back together. I suppose they deserved each other.

"There's someone I like though," Daisuke added, "a foreign exchange student. He's American; cute and stuff."

And there it was, his goofy grin, the same one I thought I'd destroyed; it appeared this new love interest of his had revived it. I suppose I felt happy for him, I had to after all. I'd had my chance and blown it, so it was the least I could offer.

"Has he got a name?" I tapped my foot against Daisuke's leg.

"Wallace."

"Well, good luck with that." I did my best to sound sincere.

"Thanks." Daisuke's smile remained fixed on his face as he headed for the door. His tanned hand lingered on the door handle for a few moments before he spun back around, his eyes burning bright. "Ne, want me to come by again?"

"Sure."

Daisuke raised up his hand and saluted at me before he tugged the door open and left.

Holding back a yawn, I stretched my arms out in front of me- my right arm half-obeying. As I flexed out the fingers on my left hand, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. On the seat of the chair where Daisuke had been sat, there was an envelope addressed to me. Peering over at the door, anticipating the nurse to burst through the room with my dinner, I quickly leant across and snatched the envelope from the chair before I carefully studied the articulate handwriting scrolled across the front. Cautiously I flipped it around and tore the seal open, then slid the folded letter out.

Bile churned in my stomach, inching its way up my oesophagus as my eyes scanned across the familiar writing, down towards the information which mattered most- the signature. My heart froze mid-beat.

_Always Yours,  
Yamato_

I immediately started to read the letter from the top of the page, imaging him sitting besides me, speaking the words scrolled out in front of me. I'd only reached the second paragraph when the piece of flimsy paper fell from my hands and fluttered hypnotically to the floor.

No, I couldn't have read it right. How was that even possible? My hand covered my mouth, preventing myself from speaking out loud as I tried to absorb it in.

Yamato, in prison? No, I just couldn't believe it.

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D-Angel:Dun dun duuun! And there you have it... Well, part of the explanation for Yama's lack of being there. Man I'm evuuls :) I'm wondering now how I'm going to round everything off in another 4 chapters... Hmm, may have to change that. Oh, and also, just wondering if you guys liked the way I did the whole 'lost memory' scene? Let me know; I'll be interested to hear your feedback.

Not a lot else to say except for thanks for reading, reviews are welcome... Oh and if you want to challenge me on 'Song Pop' (you'll probably win) or 'Draw Something', my username is Mandini88 on both of these.

See ya all next chapter! (P.S. Sorry for any spelling /grammar errors... I'll be double-checking for any myself, but let me know if you spot any I've overlooked, lol)

x x x

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D-Angel  
29/6/12


	16. Chapter 16

_____**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

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D-Angel: New chapter, yey :) A significant one too. Please, read on and enjoy!

Rating: **M**

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Chapter 16

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Sneaking out of the hospital rehabilitation venue was a lot easier than I expected; the staff that saw me just assumed I was having a morning stroll around the grounds. Daisuke was hovering by the entrance waiting for me, leaning against a stone pillar, a cigarette dangling from his lips. Immediately I craved a cheeky drag, until I subconsciously tapped my hand against the nicotine patch stuck on my arm, underneath the hooded jacket I was wearing.

"How long is it going to take to get there?" I inquired. I had a feeling it wouldn't be a simple journey; I'd donned both my crutches. I was more than comfortable just using one, and I even often hobbled around my room without the support of either; however when roaming around outside, I was still only brave enough to use both of them.

"A couple of hours, maybe longer with you on crutches," Daisuke revealed. He tossed his finished cigarette to the ground and stomped on it with his trainer, crushing it to death. "Let's get going, before we miss the bus."

I hobbled as quickly as I could along the pavement on my crutches, noting that my upper body strength had increased significantly since I had started to use them. Shame that my legs still were lacking their usual muscular tone, and that my brain was still broken.

The bus journey was long and tedious. Daisuke played a few games on his touch-screen phone, occasionally looking over and asking if I was ok. He still wasn't used to me being quiet and un-Tai-like. As he resumed tapping furiously on the screen of his phone, I reached into my jacket pocket, my fingers brushing against a folded piece of paper - the letter which Yamato had written.

Fuck, I was confused.

Once we reached our stop, we hopped off the bus and headed for the subway station. The escalator down to the platform wasn't too bad to tackle on crutches, it was more of a hassle hopping onto the train before the doors slid shut.

The carriage was full, a handful of people were standing. With barely any space to manoeuvre I struggled to grip onto the bar above, even when Daisuke offered to hold onto my crutches, whilst the people seated just stared at me like I was their entertainment for the day. I was grateful when a man in his mid-forties stood up, offering me his seat - it was heart-warming reassurance that not all humans were selfish pricks.

Four or so stops later we made our way back up to the surface. Daisuke let me rest for a few minutes before we continued on the last leg of our journey.

After heading down several streets, we approached a big grey building surrounding by high, smooth towering stone walls which had barbwire running across the top (as if someone would actually ever be able to climb to top of them without a ladder of some kind). We followed the signs to the visitors entrance and, after stating why we were here, we were lead through the gates and down a battered concrete path by a young security guard.

By the time we had entered the visitor's waiting room, the palms of my hands were red and sore and my legs ached slightly. As Daisuke handed me a cup of ice cold water from the water cooler across the room, I hoped this prison visit would be worth my while.

Twenty minutes or so passed. I looked up from my phone as a man dressed in a light-blue shirt and a navy-blue cap pushed open the door and marched into the room - one of the prison's guards (or wardens) no doubt.

"Yagami Taichi?" His voice rang out, seemingly echoing around the waiting area. I stood up slowly, ignoring the stares from the other visitors, then looked down at Daisuke.

"Good luck," he said encouragingly, as if I was about to walk into a job interview. I sent a nod in his direction and indicated that I would meet him back here.

The prison guard led me into the next room, eyes analysing me closely as he held the door open for me. I stalled and double-blinked as I took in my new surroundings. There was a set of metal detectors a few feet in front of me, and a lady sitting behind the security screening desk with a no-nonsense look on her sagging face. She ran through the security rules before I walked through a metal detector and was patted down by another security guard; no mobile phones allowed, no sharp objects, no food or drink - standard principals really.

"This way," The guard announced once I had placed my phone into the blue plastic tray the security officer lady had presented to me. Whisking me through a set of double doors, I followed him as he headed down a long stretch of corridor - walking at a slower pace than he probably would have liked because of my crutches - until we reached elevator besides a stairwell and another set of double doors.

My body was shivering as we entered the steel wall tomb. We shot up to the floor above, then finally the guard led me halfway down the new hallway until we reached a room labelled 'Visitor Room #16'.

"Fifteen minutes only, ok?" The guard gazed at me with a stern expression as his hand lingered over the door handle. I nodded and he opened the door. I knew I had to make the most out of it. I took small concentrated breaths as I stepped through the door, into a small dank room. Surrounded by grey bricked walls, not a window in sight, I immediately felt claustrophobic. A waist-level barrier of bricks ran across the middle of the room, running above it was a thick slither of bullet-proof-glass which reached the ceiling. On my side there was a wooden desk and two chairs; the same furniture applied on the other side, although there was only one chair visible.

As I walked towards the table, my crutches clunked ungracefully against the concrete flooring, it was a relief to slump down onto one of the chairs. Whilst adjusting myself on my seat I stared up at the bright spotlights beamed down from the ceiling on both halves of the room. Moments later, the door opened from the other side. Yamato made his entrance with a prison guard strolling closely behind him. He un-cuffed the manacles attached to Yamato's wrists and his mouth moved, although I couldn't hear what was being said… it appeared the glass was also soundproof.

Yamato grinned when he caught my eye, and hurried to sit down shifting his chair as close to the glass barrier as possible. I analysed him carefully. His face was pale and gaunt, a plumb coloured bruise hung underneath his left eye socket and there was a cut on his lower lip; I felt a pinch of sadness float within my conscience. I could barely force a smile in return, my mind felt numb. I had once felt nothing but hot roaring passion for this guy, but now, as I gazed into his dark blue depths, I didn't feel anything.

Part of me was still disconnected from my feelings.

"You look strange with short hair," he breathed into a microphone on the desk he was sat at. His deep voice bounced around my side of the room, startling me. It was surreal, I wondered how I was able to hear him until I noted the two sound speakers nailed high up on the walls either side of me. I gazed down - there was a microphone on my desk too, how had I missed that?

"Yeah," I responded, fidgeting with microphone. This wasn't like me, being at a loss for words, but since the stroke anything new or different seemed to overwhelm me. "Not like I had a choice when they shaved it off so they could slice my skull open."

Yamato stiffly rubbed the side of his neck. He seemed overwhelmed as well. Of course, it was the first time he had seen me since the stroke, it was going to take him sometime to get used to my small slur and the slight droop on the right side of my face which was, in my opinion, receding back to its 'original' state more and more each day.

"I'm so glad you're ok. Are the hospital staff treating you well?"

I stiffly nodded my head. I debated whether to ask him if he was well, but judging by his sullen and injured face, it was something that I thought was unnecessary to ask.

"I-I've… I wanted you to hear from me about my whereabouts, that's why I wrote you that letter," Yamato justified.

"Yeah, thanks. I read it." I didn't mean to sound so icy and despondent.

"Is the brain damage permanent?" Yamato asked after a few seconds of uneasy silence, clearly alarmed by the lack of my usual compassion. Though he obviously knew about my current state, I wondered who had spoken to him about it. Maybe Daisuke? It did explain why he had given him the letter to give to me. Had he warned Yamato that I was a bit… off?

"Hard to say if it'll affect me in the long-term physically or mentally, but I've been told that the memory loss is mostly permanent," I revealed, placing the flats of my hands against the table. "Some of the memories have kinda returned though, but I still have no clue how I ended up in hospital."

I peered over as the guard besides me scribbled notes down into his little notebook. Fucking great, I thought, it was bad enough for me having to concentrate to talk properly and to try and express what was on my mind, but having a guy write it all down as well made me feel even more apprehensive.

"So, no one's told you what happened?"

"All I know is that a blood vessel burst in my brain," I admitted. "Haven't been given details as to what caused it, but strokes can apparently just happen to anyone of any age at anytime, physically fit or otherwise."

"Oh… I mean, no one told you what happened before the stroke?"

"No."

"Not even the hospital staff?"

"No." _Or maybe they had,_ a little voice inside my head pestered, maybe I'd just forgotten…

"How much do you remember?" Yamato asked, hesitation hanging in his voice. Nothing had been mentioned in his letter about what had happened prior to my stroke, prior to his arrest - yet he had clearly been around me the most during that time. Something didn't quite add up. I knew that he was withholding something from me. The same something I suspected my friends and family didn't want me to know.

"Well…" I paused in thought for a moment. "We got back together after my sister was hospitalised, right?"

A coy smile stretched across his face. I ignored it and continued to talk.

"I remember that you told me you'd moved back to Tokyo, but I can't remember the reason why." Yes, the memory was hazy, but whilst my sister's life was hanging on the balance Yamato had cared for me in the small one-bedroom flat he was renting out near Odaiba; the same setting my mind had whisked me back to in my sleep on several occasions now.

"That's because I didn't tell you," Yamato confessed, his gaze lowering to the desk. "Well, not completely."

My left eyebrow arched in intrigue, willing him to continue.

"A few months ago I went to Grandfather's 80th birthday party at some posh function. Uncle Ren was there." He clenched his eyes shut, clearly reliving the nightmares that man had caused him. I recalled my own foggy memory of when we were sixteen and Yamato had first unveiled to me the truth about his paedophilic uncle, followed by the once and only time I had met him at Takeru's funeral.

"He was playing with my cousin's little girl, Ami - she's only about four or five. He was bouncing her up and down on his knee; an innocent act to the rest of the family, but I knew what that sick fuck was imagining. I recognised the glimmer in his eyes." Yamato's voice momentarily trailed off; he must have been calculating how to tell the rest of the story.

"Later, when I went to the toilets, he walked in whilst I was peeing, and stood at the urinal next to mine. I could feel his eyes on me; I knew what he was gazing at. I quickly finished up and washed my hands and headed towards the door; that was when he spoke." Yamato scratched the crown of his head, then frowned when he watched the guard scrawling stuff down furiously on his notepad. Still, Yamato continued to talk.

"He made a tasteless joke about the size of my cock… something about it being no bigger than it was when I was thirteen. After that, well, something inside me just snapped." Yamato stared down at his trembling hands. "Unfortunately Hiro, my cousin's husband, walked in just as I had slammed Ren's face against the wall."

A dark glint appeared in Yamato's eyes. There was more he wanted to say, more that had happened, but he knew he couldn't say it in front of the guards. Ren was the one man that Yamato was capable of killing if given the right opportunity. If his cousin-in-law hadn't of walked in when he did, then Yamato would have been here charged for murder, maybe manslaughter if a top-notch lawyer could have presented his case efficiently enough so it swayed in his favour. A troubled young man, once subjected to his uncle's abuse, finally reached his limit and lost control. Instant sympathy vote from the juries all round.

"So, what happened?" I coaxed.

"Had a massive argument with my mum once she found out. I decided to move out of my dad's a week later because he sided with my mum, agreeing that I needed anger management classes and even had the cheek to ask if I was back on drugs." Yamato ran his fingers through his dishevelled hair and lowered his gaze.

"My mum told me that I was lucky that Ren didn't press charges for the assault," Yamato snorted before that same menacing glow appeared in his eyes. "_He _was the lucky one. Things could have been a whole lot worse for him, believe me."

A strange shiver ran down my spine.

"Did you tell anyone about Uncle Ren's… tendencies?" I questioned, curiosity getting the best of me. That man needed to be reported, to be thrown in prison so he could rot eternity; there was no doubt about that. I was curious as to why the prison guards weren't batting an eyelid to Yamato's story… Did they think he was making crazy shit up?

"Hiro was the only person I told before I moved, just because of Ami. No way in hell was I going to let him put another innocent kid through the same things Takeru and I endured." Yamato's face scrunched up in detest. "The prick just laughed at me and literally spat in my face. Then he labelled me as a drug-upped nobody and told me to fuck off."

A mocking edge bathed the next sentence he spoke. "Apparently Ren is a respectable, charitable man who would never harm another living soul, and would most certainly not molest a child."

My nails scratched against the table surface despite the muscles in my face barely twitched.

"I don't think Hiro told anyone," Yamato said in a contemplative tone. "Part of me thinks he did believe me, but he's never really liked me, particularly after finding out about my drug addiction. So long as he keeps Ami away from that _cunt_, it doesn't matter."

As a look sorrow danced in Yamato's eyes, I did feel some sympathy for him. I wanted Ren to get what he deserved as much as Yamato did. However, I frowned inwardly when I realised what was happening. It felt like Yamato was using the fifteen minutes to try and delay having to tell me how he'd ended up in prison; after all, he hadn't been jailed for simply running away from Itami because his family had disowned him.

Even in his letter he'd been vague with the details regarding his conviction, but fortunately I knew enough to try and get him to talk.

"Weren't you placed in here for drug possession?" I asked, stating the cold harsh facts, knowing that his conviction only meant one thing. He'd gotten hooked again.

Yamato was taken about my bluntness, following his emotion-fuelled confession. I watched his eyes dance in confusion. He was used to the old Taichi who offered him sympathy for his troubles, and / or snapped at him for keeping them locked away for so long. The newly damaged Taichi was unfortunately unable to express either of these usual formalities. It took him a few seconds to conjure his reply.

"Yes, yes I was. I'm facing five years, if I'm lucky."

"Five years?" I echoed. It sounded like a lifetime. I didn't understand why he was so… at ease with it. I traced my thoughts back to his letter, one line jumped out at me; '_I got what I deserved, I'm just sorry my selfishness almost killed you… left you broken.' _

What had he done exactly to land himself in prison, why did he think he deserved it, and why did he blame himself for my… condition?

"Time's almost up," the guard by my side announced, raising up his index finger for the both of us to see, "one minute left."

The time had flown by quickly, as anticipated. At least the guard had the courtesy to let us say our goodbyes. Frustratingly, my questions would have to remain unanswered.

"Come by again," Yamato said, a pleading look lingering in his eyes. He reached up and pressed the palm of his hand against the glass. Against my will, my left hand gravitated towards the cold glass, mimicking his action. A hopeful smile materialised on his face, although it was one I couldn't mirror back.

"Maybe," was my reply. Deep down, I knew I'd be back, there was a lot more stuff I needed to know. However, I had heard enough for one day, and I knew my brain would not retain any additional info.

The guard who was stood on Yama's side by the door matched over to him and trussed him up with a pair of handcuffs. He gave Yamato a sharp push as he led him out of the room, and I felt my body wince. I followed the guard out my side of the box room feeling no immediate or intense emotion except a bit of frustration.

When we reached the lift, I looked over my shoulder back down at the corridor and saw the former shadow of myself fall to his knees, crumpling in despair, wailing out in raw anguish. It was something I longed to feel, something I longed to experience once again; but that part of me felt like it no longer existed.

Fifteen minutes with Yamato hadn't been long enough, I needed longer with him. He was the key to unlock what had happened, the final piece of the puzzle in my fucked up mind. And he knew that… Shit, _he knew_. I couldn't help but think, was he manipulating me knowing he had wronged me? Was he using my loss of memories to his advantage, knowing I couldn't shun him away for something I couldn't remember?

We'd been very close during those weeks - Mimi and Dai had revealed this - but in those scattered flashbacks, Yamato's interaction with me seemed vague and almost transparent, except for that night when he asked me if I was ok as he sat by the window, smoking away. In the other few memories I had recently recalled, he always seemed to be distant… his mind elsewhere, perhaps affected by the drugs?

There was something else too - an emotion, or occasion, I was more desperate to recover above everything else.

Fuck, I really wanted to remember. I wanted to remember it all.

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D-Angel:Yeah, that's some dark stuff right there... Poor Chi :( Hope this chapter was insightful, particularly in regards to giving everyone a taste of Yama's predicament and his own personal trauma. All will be revealed about the drugs thing soon enough.

Thanks for all the love and support so far - as always, appreciate it :) I'm hoping to get some stories published as e-books in the near future... Considering turning one of my fanfics into a story with original stories (Aka doing a 'Fifty Shades of Grey')... Although I don't know if it would end up being dubbed as 'Mummy Porn'. Lol. Check out my profile if you want to vote on the poll.

Also, if I can motivate myself, I have a novel idea I'm going to start working on within the next few days ;) If you're interested, just PM me and I'll keep you updated with everything. Who knows... Maybe I'll give you a sneak peek ;D

Thanks for reading anyways, as always feel free to review :D

See ya all next chapter!

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D-Angel

17/07/12


	17. Chapter 17

_____**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

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D-Angel:It feels like a while since I've last updated anything, so I worked my hardest today to get this chapter finished for you guys :) I've been busy planning my novel / fanfic conversions over the last few weeks, and I'm also in the process of finding out what parts to order for a gaming PC I'm planning on building in the next couple of weeks! Wooo! I'll be setting up a blog for all those things so you guys can keep track of it all if you wish ;)

Anyways, here is le next chapter of A Bed Full of Memories for your reading pleasure! Have fun.

Rating: **M**

Chapter Dedicated: To my 'Draw Something' buddy, Joshua :D

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Chapter 17

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I was allowed back home a few weeks later. Knowing that my mum and Hiroki had originally lacked the space for me to live with them during the summer holidays, Dad had told her that I could live with him on a permanent basis, and he was even willing to quit his job to look after me during my recovery. However, my mum refused his offer before I'd even had my say in the matter.

The treatments were still ongoing. I had to visit the local hospital two to three times a week for physiotherapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. The facial muscles on the right side of my face still drooped slightly, and the right side of my body was not functioning one hundred percent, but I was apparently making a great recovery.

Obviously I had to drop out of my second year at Portsmouth Uni. The university was happy to refer me until I was ready to go back, so I hoped I could go back the following year, or even the year after if necessary. Either way, it gave me something to strive towards.

Focusing _all _my energy on Yamato would have killed me.

I hadn't seen him since I'd visited him in jail. I'd tried to investigate exactly what had occurred regarding his arrest, over the last few weeks, but there'd been no media attention surrounding the incident - no articles, no news broadcasts - the story had simply not been scandalous enough for journalists.

My friends weren't a reliable source of info either. They claimed they didn't much, apart from that after I'd been whisked away to the hospital, the police had searched Yamato's apartment and found some drugs (enough for them to arrest him).

Eager for the full story, I was desperate to see Yamato again, although with my mum wrapping me up in cotton wool and watching me like a hawk, it wasn't easy to find the time to sneak outside the house without being questioned.

I also would have liked the support from one of my friends, which wasn't easy to obtain (particularly when they couldn't even tell me the truth about Yamato). Daisuke was back at University, Sora was working full-time and still busy planning for her wedding, which was taking place the following summer. Hikari was too frail and living back at home with her adoptive parents. That only really left Jyou, Koushiro and Mimi, but they also had jobs and found it difficult to even make a phone call once a week to see how I was doing.

Closing my eyes, I racked through my distorted brain to try and remember who else I'd been friends with during high school. What about the football team? … Haru? Shit, I hadn't spoken to him in ages. I still cringed when I recalled the drunken night we'd spent together a few years back. No, I couldn't ask him.

Hoisting my body out from my bed, I grabbed my crutch from the floor and limped into the living room wearing a scraggy black t-shirt and comfy pyjama bottoms. It was eerily quiet. Only the quiet hum of static resounded through the room from the television and sound system; their lights glowing on standby.

"Mum?" I called out, making my way to the middle of the room. No response. I called out again. Nada.

Where was she? Glancing over at the clock by the kitchen door, I noted that it was almost 1pm. My stomach growled hungrily at this realisation. Surely she would have checked to see if I was still alive by now? She would have made me lunch too.

Venturing into the kitchen, I instantly made a bee-line for the fridge. A note was stuck to its door.

_Tai,_

_I've gone to meet Hiroki for lunch. Have left you some food in the fridge for your lunch. Call us if you need _anything. _I'll be back before 2.30pm. _

_Love, Mum_

This was it; my window of opportunity had arrived. I could grab a taxi to the prison, be there in time for the afternoon visiting slot. It was something I could do by myself, or at least something I had to try and do. Of course, I faced the issue of returning back to the house after my mum. No doubt she would be worried sick and would question where I've been. I decided to leave her a note, just in case, although I didn't reveal where I was going.

After having a quick sink wash, I pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and shirt and shoved my essentials into my pockets. I phoned for the taxi as I pulled on my jacket and tugged on my shoes; my heart racing like mad - I couldn't comprehend why it felt like I was about to commit something sinful.

My phone started to beep rapidly and vibrated against my leg. _Medication_, shit!

I returned to the kitchen and snatched my pills from one of the drawers, gulping them down with my own saliva, feeling them slide awkwardly down my throat. Just as the sensation was subsiding, a harsh pain lashed against my skull. I choked in agony and fear as I fell against the kitchen counter, vision clouded. I clenched my eyes shut.

A strange string of images flashed through my mind as bass-driven club music thumped through my head. Lights flashed an assortment of colours, bodies all around, dancing. The atmosphere thick and heavy. I gazed down - a drink was held in my right hand, a small blue pill in my left. Slowly, against my will, I brought it up to my lips.

My eyes flickered open, back to the coldness of reality. Panting heavily, I wiped the sweat away from my brow, my body still trembling. Pushing myself away from the counter, still feeling disorientated, I tightened my grasp on my crutch and stumbled back into the living room and landed heavily onto the sofa.

Before I could recompose myself, before I could make sense of the familiar images which had torn through my mind in the kitchen, I heard the beep of a horn come from outside. Robotically, I sat up. I still had to do this. I figured I could think in the taxi, so long as the driver didn't try talking to me.

* * *

My mind was still a mess as I gazed through the glass barrier. Yamato perched himself on his chair, dressed in the same orange jumpsuit as last time. His split lip from before had healed, but fresh bruises surrounded his left eye. I felt a strange bubbling sensation brewing in the pit of my stomach.

The chances I had of analysing the strange nightclub memory - before reaching the visitor's room - had been well and truly evaporated. The taxi driver had nattered on for the entire journey about his rough childhood. Then, my name had been called barely a minute after I had set foot into the waiting room.

"It's great to see you," Yamato's voice dispersed out from the speakers and somewhat tugged at my heartstrings. He sounded so lost and lonely. Despite I still hadn't regained the same level of attraction I'd once had for him, it was somewhat reassuring to know that I was feeling some sort of empathy towards him. It was another step towards recovery.

"You ok?" Yamato asked, before the silence could drag any further between us. I knotted my fingers together and nodded my head.

"I just need some answers." My expression remained serious and still. I wanted Yamato to know that I wasn't going to let these next twelve minutes or so be a waste.

"What drugs were you arrested for?"

There was a pause of hesitation before he answered.

"Just a bit of weed."

Disbelief instantly washed through me; no, it couldn't have been _just _weed. He wouldn't have been looking at more than several months to a couple of years in prison otherwise (obviously depending on the quantities he'd been carrying).

"What else did you have?" I questioned. I leant forwards, resting my elbows against the table for support.

"That's it."

"Bullshit."

Yamato's shoulders drooped as he averted his eye contact with me, gazing down at his scruffy fingernails.

"Cocaine too," he admitted in a pained toned. "No heroin though." He quickly added as an after thought. His eyes were monitoring me as he changed his posture, sitting up straight and leaning further towards the glass barrier.

"You've remembered something, haven't you?"

Damn, he was sharp.

"Not entirely," I said.

"What do you mean?" He arched an eyebrow.

"I was at some club, it wasn't clear," I confessed, tapping my fingernails against the surface of the desk. I decided not to mention the blue pill; I hoped I would benefit from the ambiguity if Yamato was to reveal more than what was necessary.

"A club? Well, err, you went out to clubs and bars a lot after you came to stay with me. Usually when I was..." Yamato trailed off, shame-faced before he muttered, "doing drugs."

I'd been known to drink a lot during the stressful periods of my life, so it didn't come as a shock to hear that I'd been our raving and drowning my sorrows whilst my sister's life had hung in the balance, and whilst Yamato was damaging himself once more.

"Maybe it was the night you had the stroke," Yamato piped up after a few more moments of thought. My heart leapt into my throat. I hadn't really thought about the possibility of him being there on that night. Giving circumstances, it was more than feasible.

Of course, I wanted to know more. I had to find out, so I encouraged Yamato to summarise what had happened.

"You were _very _drunk. You ended up phoning me asking if I could come pick you up outside the club. By the time I got there, you were gone. I tired calling you, but you didn't answer. I searched all over town for you, but couldn't find you. Fuck, I was petrified." His body was quivering as he relived the moment, but I only felt envy for him being able to remember it all. "I returned to my place, and there you were, slumped up against the door, pale as a ghost, your clothes in a state."

"Where had I been?" I asked, intrigue consuming my mind. The answer was obviously the key to the last piece of the puzzle. My fingers curled anxiously against the edge of the desk as I awaited his response. He was hesitating again; his lips briefly moved, but not sound travelled out of them at first.

"It doesn't matter," Yamato said dryly. Analysing his expression closely, I saw that there was a warning glare glinting in his eyes.

"_Doesn't matter_?" I echoed his words and placed my left hand against my brow. "Yama, this shit is important… I _need _ to know."

Sensing my desperation, Yamato took a deep breath in. He brushed his fingers through his dishevelled hair as his eyes stared over at the prison guard on his side of the room, then turned his attention back to me.

"I'm protecting you, Tai." Yamato's tone was quiet, his words, simple - yet they only toyed with my bemusement, prodding and poking. The missing gap in the puzzle seemed larger than ever, despite the truth being locked away in the man opposite me.

Glancing to my side, the prison guard next to me was still taking notes, a wry smile playing on his lips as he caught me looking over at him.

I'd had enough of this enigma. Standing up, I slammed my palms loudly against the table, my body shaking with anger.

"Where did I go? Fucking tell me!" I shouted into the microphone; my words encased in a hot mixture of exasperation and desperation. Yamato flinched, like a startled animal, then his eyes clouded over with a layer of ice as they remained locked with my own.

_Tell me, Yama, fucking tell me already_…

"Time's up." The guard on my side announced. He was quick to grab onto my arm, and yanked me in the direction of the door. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, my frustration only grew. I still had just over five minutes left.

"No!" I tried to swing my arm at the guard, but he countered my attack with a swift block, then held both my arms behind my back as he guided me to the door and pushed me out the room. I stumbled out onto the corridor, realising that I didn't have my crutch as my right leg seized up, and I crumpled onto the floor.

Unable to find the strength to get back up, the anger slowly ebbed out from my body as I lay on the floor. Soon, the guard grabbed my arm and pulled me up to my feet, before shoving my crutch into my hand, his eyes dancing with detest. Against my will, I followed him into the lift.

"We know the junkie's hiding something," the guard mumbled once the doors had closed, more to himself than to inform me. "But whatever, he confessed to the crime. Ain't my problem that his story didn't quite add up."

Of course I was already aware that Yamato was hiding something, but it interesting to know that the prison staff were conscious of it as well. Not like it mattered to them; for every crime someone had to be guilty, and since Yamato hadn't protested his innocence they weren't going to probe him for the truth.

Once I was out of the gates I walked alongside the prison wall until I was a fair distance away from the entrance. After stopping, I rested my back against the concrete wall as I checked my phone (which had been switched off). The numerous missed calls and text messages, mostly from my mum, suggested that further drama was awaiting me back at 'home'.

That could all wait, I decided as I phoned for a taxi. There was one more place I had to visit first.

* * *

As I hobbled out of the taxi my head was spinning. Here I was, outside the apartment block where I'd had my stroke.

I'd done my research whilst I was still at the rehabilitation home and found out the address of the place Yamato was renting; apparently Yamato had text Sora it since she'd wanted to visit me after Hikari was hospitalised. I'd planned to go there with Dai to see if it would help jog any further memories and solve any questions, but the opportunity had never arose, until now.

Sighing, I slowly slid down onto a nearby step as I felt myself give way to fatigue; I was starving and completely drained of energy. Reaching into my pocket for my phone I decided to call my mum just to at least let he know that I was still alive, then I could snoop around the area without feeling too much guilt. The taxi had passed a row of bars and nightclubs before reaching the apartment complex; I hoped if I ventured around the vicinity I could trigger any flashbacks, and maybe recall where I had gone before Yamato had found me slumped outside his front door.

The screeching of tyres made me look up abruptly. A car pulled up against the curb, in my drowsy state I assumed it was my mum and her boyfriend - they must have worked out where I was. No doubt they were going to be mad, but hopefully elated as well knowing that I was ok.

It was when I'd shoved my phone back into my pocket that I realised that the vehicle in front of me wasn't Hiroki's silver Toyota Yarris. It was a run-down and battered box-shaped motor, definitely not as sleek or modern as the five-year-old Toyota Yarris which Hiroki owned. Also, instead of being silver it was covered in rusted green paint. As the driver's door opened, my mind flashed back to the green wing mirror clipping against my arm; one of the last things I remembered before I'd had the stroke (or after, depending how you looked at it). Without a doubt, I knew that this was the same car.

As the tall figure emerged from the vehicle, I caught a glimpse of his face which was partly concealed by the hood of his coat. Fear instantly coiled around my chest like a hungry python, crushing my lungs, constricting my breathing. Not Junzo. Fuck.

My last memory of that drug dealer was not a pleasant one. I knew the things that man was capable of, the things he would do for his own entrainment. How he had found me or why he was even here didn't matter. All I knew that he obviously wasn't here to help me.

Survival instincts kicked in. I desperately tried to stand up, my left hand scraped against the concrete during my feeble attempt to flee. When he reached me, his hand gripped tightly onto my arm and yanked me up onto my feet. My eyes were wide with horror as his dilated pupils scanned me up and down, like a fisherman who had reeled in the catch of the day.

The muscles in my body started to twitch, I readied myself to deliver a punch directly to his solar plexus. The adrenalin in my body seemed to seep away like the air from a punctured tyre as he produced the tip of a knife out from the right sleeve of his coat - the blade glimmering menacingly between us as a wicked smile played on his chapped lips.

"I'd suggest you get in the car quickly," Junzo spoke in a low tone, pushing me towards the passenger door, "don't want an audience now, do we?"

I felt the tip of the knife dig into my back, lightly piercing the skin underneath my layers of clothing. Fumbling for the door handle, I prepared myself for the very worst.

* * *

D-Angel: Oh shit! It's Junzo (from Nothing is Forever if you weren't aware). He's basically a dick (if you haven't guessed). Yeah... Things are turning even darker, and you can rest assure that they will get worse for young Taichi. _-Evil smirk-_

Taichi: :( I hope this story doesn't end on a negative note... Ya know... Like me dying.

D-Angel: We'll see ;) Anywhos, my lovely readers, please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and of the story in general really. The end is approaching, so who knows, maybe your feedback will even influence what happens over the last few chapters? :)  
Thanks for all your love and support so far.

I'll see ya all next chapter :D  
x x x

* * *

24/08/12


	18. Chapter 18

_____**A Bed Full of Memories**_

_Summary:_ Letting go is never easy. Taichi thought he had moved on from his first love, Yamato. However, all memories come attached with feelings, and they can't lay dormant forever.

* * *

D-Angel: Hey, hey, hey! Hope you guys are well and are looking forward to Christmas ;) I still need to sort out my present shopping, eep!

I know I left you all hanging at the end of the last chapter, so I'll let you read on before you go crazy xD

Enjoy!

Rating: **M**

* * *

Chapter 18

* * *

All I could hear was the rhythm of my heart beat pounding in my ears, even as the engine chugged into life. The undeniable stench of drugs and alcohol loomed within the interior of the vehicle, and the air felt hot and heavy as if I was sitting inside a greenhouse.

The car started to move. I shivered as I stared out the window; judging that the streets were deserted, it was very unlikely anyone had seen Junzo bundle me into his car.

"You followed me from the prison, didn't you?" I said. It was the only feasible reason as to how he had found me outside of Yamato's old apartment block.

"I've been following you for quite some time, Taichi." Junzo grinned wickedly, flashing me his vile yellow and blackened teeth. I sunk back into my chair and instinctively placed my hand over my phone, which was buried within the depths of my coat pocket. Knowing I still had that, at least I had a safety net of some kind.

"Take out your phone," Junzo said.

_Fuck._

The knife gripped in his left hand drifted close to my neck. Feeling the tip of the blade poke against my skin, I unwillingly reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

"Throw it out the window," he hissed, his voice filled with venom. Robotically I wound the window down and tossed the object out, watching blankly in the wing mirror as it smashed to pieces the moment it hit the tarmac. The situation seemed somewhat dreamlike. I was convinced I would wake up at any minute, much like awakening from the other lost memories I had been fortunate enough to relive.

"We're going for a drive into the countryside." Junzo said, his eyes focusing on the road ahead. "Then I'm going to kill you."

I should have felt petrified, but for some reason, I felt calmer now knowing his intention.

After winding the window back up, I folded my arms and held them close to my chest as I stared through the glass. We were about to drive onto the highway, no doubt Junzo had his location in mind.

"Do you remember the night outside the club?" Junzo asked after a few minutes of silence had elapsed. Suddenly perking up, I gazed in his direction and slowly shook my head.

"Well," he continued to tell me, "I had a tip off that you'd been snaking around the dance floor, asking people if they had my address or phone number. When I drove there I saw you alone walking down the middle of the road, completely off your face."

A vulnerable chill shot down my spine as I recalled a green wing-mirror clipping my arm that night. Now I knew it had belonged to Junzo's beaten up car.

"Wish I'd killed you then," Junzo darkly said, his tongue snaking across his lower lip, "but Yamato still owed me money. I figured I could use you to get to him."

He continued to rant on about how Yamato was in debt with him and my mind slowly zoned out. I only became aware of Junzo's presence again when he laughed out loudly.

"I couldn't believe it when you got into my car and asked to buy some coke."

"Cocaine?" I echoed in disbelief. There was no way I would have... that I could have...

But wait... what about the blue pill I had taken in the nightclub? My thoughts questioned. Maybe I had stolen it from Yamato? Or perhaps it'd just been fabricated by my screwed up brain - pills had become an integral part of my life since I'd been hospitalised after all.

"Such balls you used to have." Amusement danced in Junzo's voice.

_Used to? _My eyes focused on the locked latch on my door. The stroke had stripped me of many things, but I was now aware that my courage wasn't one of them.

"You sure you don't remember?" Junzo asked, peering across at me. Once again, I shook my head. Junzo snorted in disbelief.

"You don't remember beating me up in _my_ apartment and taking the fucking drugs for _free_?" His tone was filled with venomous malice. It was clear that my interaction with him that night was his reason for kidnapping me.

"I wish I could remember," I replied curtly, envisioning myself stood over his body, kicking him over and over again.

"Let me try and help you," he said.

The back of his knuckles whacked against the side of my head, so hard I saw nothing but blackness and stars for several seconds. When the stars started to fade I could hear the hum of heavy static mixed with a raw crackling sound, like someone scrunching paper into a microphone. As I regained my vision I was confused to see that I was crouched down over a coffee table in the middle of a humid room, holding a rolled up bank note in my right hand. A single white strip of powder was lined up into front of me. My eyes gazed up momentarily into terrified, angry blue irises.

"Don't!"

I ignored the plea in Yamato's voice and snorted up the powder in one clumsy attempt.

"This is what you put _me_ through, Yama!" I spoke words I had no control of.

Moments later, a sweet sensation cruised throughout my body as my heart-rate increased, like I was free-falling through the sky; no restrictions, no restraints; it felt like I was invincible. It was heavenly.

A sudden dull thud in my head suddenly broke through my blissful numbness. I felt the need to vomit, but as I started to gag, the pain worsened. I slumped down, elbows propped on the table as I supported my head with my hands.

Within seconds, a small popping sound echoed through my skull, reverberating against my eardrums. Almost instantaneously an indescribable burst of pain rushed through my head, causing my body to fall forwards. Blackness followed before my head even struck against the coffee table. Then a single screech of raw emotion clearly punched through the silence- Yamato's strangled scream.

My eyes snapped open. I was back in the car and shaking in my seat. Junzo was laughing hysterically.

"Was worried you were having another stroke or something," he said, nudging his elbow against my ribs. "Can't have you dying before I've had my fun now, can I?"

Bile started to creep up my throat, the acidic sensation toying with my oesophagus. I now knew enough, thanks to my mind whisking me back to the moment after Yamato had found me slumped on his doorstep, after I had assumingly fled from Junzo's flat.

I was still disappointed that I couldn't recall my 'meeting' with Junzo, but I was grateful that I had now finally comprehended what had triggered the blood vessel in my brain to burst.

As Junzo started to rave on about how he couldn't wait to watch me die, I quickly gauged the situation. The highway was fairly quiet, Junzo was going at near enough 60mph, and we were nearing the turn off to the area where I assumed he was planning to murder me. It was time to take control of the situation.

"What kind of kidnapping is this?" I asked, interrupting his ramblings. "You've not even tied my hands behind my back."

I tried my best to sneer at his apparent lack of organisational skills, hoping my comments would hit a nerve. However, Junzo momentarily glanced to his side, analysing my worn and pasty appearance, then a hearty laugh escaped from his throat. He was clearly thicker skinned than I recalled.

"Why would I need to do that? You had a stroke, didn't you?" Junzo asked as he focused his attention back onto the road. "You're useless now. What could you possibly do?"

I smiled inwardly. His words didn't faze me in the slightest. One thing I knew for certain was that Junzo was too much of an idiot to pull over and put a pair of handcuffs (or whatever) on me, and that he was stupid enough to make the error of underestimating me and how far I would go with taking particular risks.

Reaching across quickly – allowing no time for Junzo to acknowledge what I was about to do – I grabbed hold of the steering wheel and yanked it sharply to the left. The vehicle immediately swerved across towards the left hand lane, into the path of an oncoming car.

"Shit!" Junzo growled. In a panicked flurry he tried to regain control of his car, the knife dropping out of his left grip so he could try to steady the vehicle with both his hands. I wasn't making it easy; my hands were still on the wheel, tugging it in the opposite direction.

"Let go!" Junzo's left fist crashed against the side of my face, I released my hands from the wheel and fell back down onto my chair in a daze.

Junzo swore and slammed his foot against the brake; the car's tyres screeched nosily against the road's surface and the vehicle started to spin wildly out of control. I clutched onto the door's inner handle but lunged forwards and was lurched from side to side as the vehicle skidded into the far left lane of the overpass, before it came to an immediate halt as it crunched against the stone barrier head on.

I jolted forwards roughly, the seatbelt digging sharply into my ribcage- winding me for several seconds- before my head slammed back into the headrest. There was a sharp ringing in my ears, which fortunately started to dissipate shortly after I had managed to catch my breath.

The windscreen was so badly cracked I could not see out from it, fortunately I was aware that the barrier had prevented us from toppling over onto the highway below.

After managing to wiggle my toes and fingers, just to make sure I wasn't paralysed, I peered across to my right, wincing as a sharp pain shot across my neck. Junzo- who hadn't been wearing his seatbelt- was unconscious, hopefully dead. Blood was oozing down his face from a deep gash on his forehead where he had slammed face-first into the steering wheel.

Hands shaking, I fumbled and unclipped my seatbelt before I peered across Junzo's body, until I had located the lock release switch. I bit down on my lip as I tentatively leant across Junzo's body, fearing he would spring up and grab me at any moment, just like the bad guys always seem to do near the end of a horror film.

My finger quickly pressed button and I sprung my body back, away from Junzo. Within seconds, I opened the door and rolled out of the vehicle, and collapsed straight onto the ground. I was in a state to say the least. My breathing was low and rapid, and my entire body was throbbing to the point where I was almost about to be sick. I noticed that I was also bleeding from somewhere; my hands were sticky with blood, the metallic scent still ripe in my nostrils.

I felt every muscle in my body freeze as I heard the rusty creak of one of the car's doors opening up. A groggy groan, followed by the sound of feet crunching unevenly against broken glass, instantly made my stomach churn. My heart slamming ruthlessly against my chest, I prayed for a car to stop and come to my rescue, but much to my frustration, the overpass was deserted.

As adrenalin took over once again, I stood up, but then wobbled like a deer trying to balance on ice, before my legs gave way and I whimpered out as I fell back onto the ground. I tried to stand again, only for my muscles to lock up as Junzo appeared from the rear end of the car, dazed and disorientated.

He swayed on his feet like a drunkard as his irises rolled about all over the place, unable to focus properly. I glanced over my shoulder, my heart skipping a beat when I realised how close to the damaged stone barrier I was.

Feet scuffed against the shards of glass. I turned my head back round. A sickening sensation shot through my abdomen when I saw that Junzo was now only several metres away from me, his eyes locked onto me.

My body tensed up as I desperately looked around my surroundings, trying to formulate an escape plan. I soon realised it was too late. Junzo started to charge at me with the remaining strength he had left, his knife held up high.

"Watch out!" I warned, suddenly fearing for his own life more than mine. To my dismay, he kept coming at me - eyes wide with blood-lust teeth bared, still not noticing that one of car's detached hubcaps was resting on the asphalt by my legs, and was directly in his path.

I cried out my warning again, just as was about to pounce onto me, then cringed as he tripped over the hubcap and he continued to stagger forwards against his will, straight past me, mouth widening as he flew towards the broken barrier. I reached out to grab him, but by then it was too late.

For a moment it looked as if he had defied gravity as he soared over the barrier and through the air, his equipped arm still raised up high. Then there was an animalistic screech before he vanished from my view and his body hit the ground with a resounding thud and a chorus of cracks.

Curiosity wanted me to turn and gaze down so I could see the mangled mess of Junzo's body, but I knew the image would only haunt me.

Sirens soon pierced the air. I shivered and waited.

* * *

D-Angel: Ohh, dramatic stuff right there! But, now you know pretty much what happened before Taichi had his stroke, and Junzo got what he deserved.

I'd say that there's only another 2 - 4 chapters left now... tying up loose ends mostly. I'll get them out as soon as I can, although I now have a new job; but I'll have some time off over Christmas :) Also, Composer Inc, I will reply to your PM this week, I realise it's been a while since we last spoke ;)

That's all for now anyways. I'll see ya next chapter my lovelys :)

x x x

* * *

D-Angel

27/11/12

PS: I now have a Tumblr blog and an active Twitter account. Links are on my profile. Feel free to add me to follow my ramblings and also the progress of my writing (both fanfiction and original stuff!)


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